Taciturn
by MetalHammer
Summary: Snape saves Lily and Harry the night Voldemort finds them. Now all residing in Hogwarts, with Snape as a double agent, how will he reconcile his broken relationship with Lily so soon after her husbands death? This is going to be a long one spanning over the years as relationships grow, wars commence and The Boy Who Lived awaits his destiny. An action packed thriller with Lily/Snape
1. Taciturn

**Hi all! This is going to be an on going story and I would like to mention that the title came from a song 'Taciturn by Stone Sour'. It is a very moving song about pure deep love which I am sure sums up one particular characters emotion ;) I welcome all reviews! **

Chapter 1 - Taciturn

Blinding rain smashed against the sodden Earth on this moonless night. Two hooded men stood beneath a large Oak tree atop a hill that overlooked a sleeping village. Lucius Malfoy pulled down his hood in annoyance at not just the rain but the ridiculous task he and his partner had been assigned tonight.

"Severus?" Lucius turned to the hooded younger man "Anything yet?"

Snape gently pulled his hood from his face and shook his head causing his wet black locks to shake against his cheeks but kept his gaze at the village below. "Patience is the key tonight. If the Potters or Longbottoms come within a mile of the village _I_ will know"

Lucius scoffed "Did you not hear?"

Snape anxiously turned to the older man and bore into his eye in an attempt to get a hint as to what Lucius was about to reveal. "What?"

Lucius gave an almost giggle "Don't be upset Severus. The Dark Lord did not forget your pleas with him about sparing the Potter's –"

"-Not _all_ of them" Snape retorted in his slow manner.

"Either way" Lucius voice deep and malicious "He has found them and has gone tonight"

Snape's eyes went wide "Where?"

Lucius scoffed even louder than before "Like I would –"

Severus grabbed Lucius by the scruff of his robes and pressed his wand to the elder Malfoy's neck "Where-are-_they?"_

"G-go-god-rics-Ho-hollow" Lucius choked and gasped for air as Snape released him and stormed out into the rain "You can't abandon your post!"

It was useless Snape vanished into thick black smoke and soured off into the night.

"You set up the spells!" Lucius shouted at the thin air "What am I meant to do?! – I can't detect anything!"

Snape landed at the end of Godrics Hollow and marched until he reached a church. A little further down the street sat a house with all its lights out. The rest of the street had the odd light on from bedrooms or living rooms, pumpkin lanturns flickered on window sills of some due to Halloween yet no children walked the streets knocking on doors – it was as if they knew a real monster was on their road tonight.

A spine chilling bellow came from the house causing Snape to run as fast as his slender legs would carrying his tiny weight. He smashed through the front door that was already open causing it to bounce on its hinges yet stopped as he nearly tripped over the lifeless form of James Potter. Glasses askew, blood stained mouth and mangled limbs. He did not feel remorse yet he was neither joyous at the sight of his childhood bully dead at his feet.

A woman's scream came from upstairs sending Snape flying up them two steps at a time. He stopped at the top of the stair case and stepped on something strange. He looked down at his boot to see he had trodden on a foam letter 'H' and it was only until he looked at the sole door that was open, that the word 'arry' was stuck on the front. Like the rest of the house debris was strewn about the place, bricks and roof tiles scattered the floor and furniture had been unturned in what must have an immense struggle.

Snape cautiously approached the nursery and saw his Master standing with his back to the door; bald, snakelike skin and flowing black robes. At The Dark Lord's feet a cowering woman was screaming in agony.

"_Crucio!..._I can make it _all_ stop if you tell me where he is"

_Was he really that deluded to think a caring mother would give up her child's location? _Then again Snape was sure Voldemort could not have had a great mother to believe such a thing.

This was going to kill him he was sure of it _- I don't care._

"My lord!" Snape ran to his master's side and using all his might to occlude his mind for what he was about to say "Both boys have been spotted My Lord, Lucius and I we found them"

Voldemort slowly turned his slits for nostrils flared; clearly not happy by this news "Severus, are you…_sure?"_

This was it, Voldemort was trying to find the lie "Yes my Lord…but Lucius is unsure of his next actions as I had set up the location spell should any of the boys enter that village you sent us to…he think I misjudged"

"Did you?" he asked looking down at his recent victim curled up unconscious.

"No my Lord, Lucius is waiting for you"

_Please, please just leave. Don't finish what you started just leave._

"I was rather enjoying prying information out of the mother" Voldemort smirked "I trust you can clean up here - burn my mark into the sky?"

Snape pulled out his wand and bellowed out of the smashed window without hesitation "_Morsmordre!"_

The magnificent skull and snake began to form overhead illuminated by a brewing lighting storm. Snape felt a sharp icy breeze catch him across the back of the neck and when he turned he realised it was from Voldemort apprating.

Snape immediately feel to his knees beside the comatose woman "Lily?"

She looked as if she were asleep. He gently shook her which grew more violently in an attempt to wake her up but he was stopped by the sudden cries nearby. _The boy…_

Snape whipped his head around to the sound and headed for the cupboard; it was hot with magic energy. He carefully opened it with his wand at the ready only to find a moving bundle of coats on the floor. He pulled the coats to one side revealing a tearful one year old baby which upon seeing Snape began to cry uncontrollably. _She had put a silencing charm and several delusion charms upon the door – very clever._

Snape put his wand away and gingerly picked the squirming baby up, struggling to keep him still, but he did not have time for comforting the boy as Voldemort would surely hunt Snape down shortly. He was the only person that could deceive Voldemort due to his natural talents of Occulmency. Voldemort would believe Snape over Lucius any day but should the evidence mount up that Snape was lying he would surely be hunted down like the Potter's.

Snape was on his knees beside Lily and placed Harry beside her. He then shot a silver doe from his wand and watched it bound out of the smashed window towards the now fully formed Dark Mark and out into the night sky. Snape then held Lily tightly to himself and placed a firm grip upon Harry's leg before apprating.

He landed in the same position upon the muddy ground before front gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Snape gasped in relief as figures came running from the castle meaning Dumbledore must have reacted to his Patronas at once. Hagrid scooped Lily up in his arms without a word or even looking at Snape and Madam Pomfrey did the same with Harry as if looking at Snape was a cause for Voldemort to attack them.

Snape stayed on his knee's staring up at the illuminated castle, watching the half giant and nurse carry away the mother and child he had just saved. He was out of breath most likely in shock at his defiance against Lord Voldemort. A hand gently touched his shoulder causing him to leap up in fear only to come face to face with Professor McGonagall. The thin witch with a fashionable pointed hat bore a stern expression of worry and anger, most likely hidden hatred towards him, but she titled her head to usher him to the castle.

"Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you Severus" she spoke just has she had done when she taught him at school. He had not seen her for three years not surprising that it was hard for her to look at him as nothing more than a student; not _wanting_ to see him as Death Eater.

Snape brushed off the dirt from his black robes before entering the castle that was welcomingly warm and glowing orange from the torches lining the walls. McGonagall rushed off ahead as if she did not want to be within close range of Snape yet he did not care, all he wanted to do was go and see if Lily was going to be alright.

He remained silent even as the gargoyle leapt aside revealing the staircase to Dumbledore's office. He had only been there a few weeks ago pleading with Dumbledore to move the Potter's to a safe house. W_hoever was there secret keeper…most likely Sirius Black, he was the Potter's most trusted friend…_

The office was empty as Snape stood before Dumbledore's desk with his hands held behind his back as if about to be carted off to prison for what he had done. McGonagall lingered behind him wearily but not for long as Dumbledore emerged from the stair case behind the desk taking a seat in front of it.

"Sit down Severus" he calmly said then looked to McGonagall "Minerva you may go to the Hospital Wing and check on our guests"

She seemed all too happy to get out of the way as she hurried out of the room "Now…"

"Headmaster-"

"-No" Dumbledore stopped Snape in his tracks but remained calm and spoke softly "I will do the talking…You said in your Patronas that James was killed, Lily and the baby were alive and you were coming here" Dumbledore paused "What happened to Voldemort? Where is he now? Has he tried to contact you since?"

Snape took a deep breath and looked at his former Head Master through his long black curtains "The Dark Lord went to a village in Suffolk under the impression the children of the Potter's and Longbottom's are being hidden together. He could still be there for all I know and no, he has not tried to summon me as yet"

Snape then explained in full detail everything that had happened from his duties with Malfoy upon the hill looking for the children to apprating here.

Dumbledore had a strange stare in his eye "Very convenient wouldn't you say Severus? That James perished and Lily survived"

"If you are insinuating that I allowed that to happen you are _very_ mistaken" Snape hissed "He was dead before I arrived and yes, I admit I do not feel any pain over his death…but I am still not delighted either."

Snape leapt out of his chair and grasped his left forearm with his right hand "_He is summoning me"_

"Don't go" it was a simple softly spoken word that numbed Snape's pain momentarily, staring at Dumbledore as if he were a madman.

"I _must"_ Snape spat readying his wand to apparate to wherever his Dark Mark would take him.

"Ignore it Severus" Dumbledore ordered "You have first rate Occulmency skills, you can easily conjure an excuse to him later and in fact I must stress that you do this or the plan I have _will not work_"

Snape sat down and put his wand away ignoring the burning sensation in his arm but refused to pull up his sleeve to reveal it to Dumbledore. Instead he focussed his concentration on every word Dumbledore spoke.

"You are to tell Lord Voldemort that the moment he left to meet Malfoy, _I_ turned up." Dumbledore paused to see if Snape reacted and continued " You are to wait until later before returning to him and you tell him that while you were finishing his work I apparated and disarmed you where you then _pretended_ to break down in front of me and begged me not to send you to Azkaban. Following so far? Good. We then take Lily to Hogwarts, you _do not_ mention the child, where I then offer you an ultimatum of either going to Azkaban for your crimes or you swear that you have reformed"

Snape could not believe what he was hearing "I am meant to spy for you?"

"You _will_ spy for me but have Voldemort believe you are spying for him" Dumbledore smiled briefly "Your defiance to Lord Voldemort has proven to me that you are willing to accept these terms…that and I did not fail to notice your _Patronas…_The doe. You must care very deeply for her"

"Headmaster…" Snape had been aching to ask since he arrive and ignored the Head Masters comment on his feelings towards Lily "Who was the Potter's secret keeper?"

"I haven't a clue" Dumbledore's voice was a whisper clearly having been in deep thought over it also "I had offered myself as their secret keeper yet they put their trust into one of their friends"

_Black…_ Snape's blood boiled, he did not care about the Dark Lord at this point "May I see Lily?"

Snape entered the Hospital Wing that was barely illuminated except for a couple of torches at the end of the room where a curtain had been pulled around one of the beds. Muffled voices were heard but none were Lily's.

He cautiously made his way to the bed where he first greeted by Madam Pomfrey who looked at him with knowing eyes. _I didn't do this to her!_

"I have given her a sleeping draught" Madam Pomfrey stated "She will not wake until sometime tomorrow"

"Can I see her?" Snape asked but was greeted by McGonagall who appeared from behind the curtain.

"She will not wake Mr Snape" McGonagall spoke to him as if telling off a student – it had only been three years since she had seen him but he was certain his lifestyle with the Dark Lord had aged him. "I suggest you have Hagrid show you to a vacant room for you to stay in"

"Where is the boy?" Snape asked ignoring her last statement and looking around not seeing Harry anywhere but his question was answered as heavy footfalls behind indicated the Hagrid had entered the room and in his arms cradled a sleeping baby.

"Good as gold lil' 'arry 'ere" Hagrid said handing the sleeping child to Madam Pomfrey who placed Harry in a crib beside his sleeping mother "Fell 'sleep as we walked 'round second floor"

"Thank you Hagrid" McGonagall said noticing Snape's eyes focussed on the foot of the bed visible from behind the curtain "You may sit with her if you may Severus but you must not try and wake her"

"Or the baby" Madam Pomfrey insisted checking the clock on the wall.

It had gone midnight but Snape did not care as he slowly made his way towards Lily. McGonagall left with Hagrid while Madam Pomfrey settled at a desk near the back of the room looking at different vials of medical potions. As Hagrid was Keeper of Keys at the school he had left Snape a tiny silver key to a room in the North Tower for the night, not that he planned to use it.

Snape saw Harry first sleeping in a wooden crib beside his mother. Lily was pale and her red hair had fallen over her face as she too was now resting peacefully. He took a seat between the bed and crib turning his back to Harry and staring contently at Lily. Snape silently performed a silencing charm around the bed so Madam Pomfrey could not hear. It still took him a few moments of silence to muster the courage and find the words to speak.

"I tried…I tried Lily" His manner was slow and careful as if he was sure she could hear him "I know you hate me and I understand why…I swear I will not mess up again."

Snape closed his eyes remembering the last time she had seen him. It was a summer's night in Surrey and the Dark Lord had sent his followers including Snape to capture a spy yet they were ambushed by the Order of the Phoenix. During the battle Snape found himself knocked back to the ground where his hood and mask came off, he rolled over to grab the mask to find himself face to face with Lily who too had been knocked back by a Death Eater. It was as if the entire battle had frozen as these two locked eyes in panic at each other, it had ended shortly after but Snape was terrified to attack so remained on the defence at all times not wanting to harm Lily. That was the last image Lily had of him – a Death Eater.

He wanted to make everything right for her, he knew she would shoot him down when she wakes, so he savoured this moment of silence just sitting beside her. Snape hovered his hand over hers for a moment before gently placing it on top.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

Behind him Harry began to stir and whimper in his sleep but instead of Madam Pomfrey heading towards the crib to comfort the baby Dumbledore was stood peering down into the crib. Both he and Severus's gaze met.

"I see you have not returned to Voldemort" Dumbledore said returning his eyes to Harry and ignoring Madam Pomfrey's gasp at hearing the name. "I think that is wise you rest Severus, it will not be easy convincing people that you have truly reformed and fatigue will not help"

"I won't sleep now" Snape said standing as he started to feel claustrophobic between the bed and the crib as Dumbledore towered over him.

"You have done a miraculous thing Severus" Dumbledore said moving the blanket up to Harry who grasped it now fully awake "Beautiful child don't you think?"

Snape glanced into the crib and saw James Potter's son staring back at him "Can definitely see his father"

"Except his eyes" Dumbledore added "He has his mother's eyes"

Snape then peered further into the crib and caught sight of the emerald eyes looking up at him "So he does"

"Harry Potter will have a great life and role in defeating Lord Voldemort thanks to you" Dumbledore was looking directly at Snape who could not meet the Head Masters eye but instead focussed on the baby that was slowly falling to sleep. "Lily will be more than thankful"

"She won't trust me" Snape snapped looking at Dumbledore now "You said yourself 'convincing' people I reformed will not be easy"

"Can you blame them?" Dumbledore retorted "You were not under Lord Voldemort's wing as long as others have been and have perhaps had minor roles in his work –"

"-I told him the _prophecy"_ Snape hissed "It is my fault…"

Snape could not bring himself to say what he was to be blamed for but instead looked to Lily as she lay sound asleep in the bed.

"Severus" Dumbledore began "We have much to discuss and plan but first a good night's rest will do us all some good"

"I have damned the boy to life of misery" Snape spat pointing at the crib, his silencing spell had broken the moment he spoke to Dumbledore so now Madam Pomfrey was gawping in anger at his outburst "It is all my fault that James Potter died"

"I do not think so" Dumbledore said walking away from the crib not wanting to startle Harry "I'm sure Lord Voldemort would have found them regardless.

"I merely sped up the process then" Snape ran a hand through is black locks idly. His forearm was prickling from not attending his summons causing him to feel extremely agitated.

"Do you or do you not want what is best?" Dumbledore asked not wanting an answer "Do you or do you not wish to redeem yourself?"

Snape slowly nodded "Of course"

"Then do it for _her"_ Dumbledore whispered "The only option you have in proving you have reformed is by acting as a spy for The Order – you cannot simply leave Voldemort"

"If you're not with him you're against him – I know" Snape nodded "I currently have residence at Spinner's End should I return there now and report back?"

"No, I think it is fair to say Hogwarts has welcomed you back" Dumbledore smiled then began to walk towards the doors "Get some rest Severus and should Lord Voldemort summon you…you know what to do"

It was as if that had triggered it as Voldermort's voice boomed inside Snape's mind

_SEVERUS!_

Snape collapsed to his knees cradling his head in agony while Dumbldore and Madam Pomfrey ran to his aid. Snape pushed them away and tugged back his sleeve revealing his jet black Dark Mark now burning at his skin.

Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey watched in horror, Harry started crying and Snape pulled out his wand pressing it to the Mark and apparated into the night.

"He really has the power to apparate out of Hogwarts?" Madam Pomfrey's voice was shaken

"We're perfectly safe here" Dumbledore assured her but could not take his eyes off of the spot where Snape had vanished "He may be able to pull his followers away but he will not be able to send himself or others into the grounds."

Dumbledore turned around to leave to find himself facing two young men both clearly shaken.

"Sirius, Remus" Dumbledore could tell they were both distraught "I sent an owl as soon as I heard"

Sirius was shaking "We just saw…please say we didn't just see…was that Severus Snape in here a moment ago?"

"Allow me to explain" Dumbledore began but even after leading them to his office and explaining the situation Sirius was fuming, he was hysterical at losing his best friend and more so that Snape had reappeared in the mix apparently reformed.

"I want to see my Godson" Sirius snapped "I do not wish to hear more about Snivillus"

They moved to Dumbledore's office where Remus was sat in shock staring at a sneakascope upon Dumbledore's desk. He had lost a dear friend and was now being told that a known Death Eater – whom that had fought on a couple of occasions – was now on their side. "He's probably dead too by now"

Sirius eyes snapped to his quiet friend "If you mean Snape then _good"_

"You're both very upset as lot of people are" Dumbledore spoke gently "But we must all remain calm and do what is best for The Order and for Lily and Harry Potter"

"They'll stay with me" Sirius insisted "Allow me to be Secret Keeper this time _…_I'll kill Wormtail"

"I think it is best they remain in the castle for the time being" Dumbledore retorted.

Remus muttered "Speaking of trust…You –know-who will probably be forcing the whereabouts of Lily and Harry out of Snape as we speak"

"I'm sorry Remus but I disagree" Dumbledore's expression was stern yet knowing as he stared out of the window into the night air "I'm sure he'll be getting an earful but will return shortly"

Snape was at the Malfoy manor in a large chamber. Before him was an overstuffed armchair facing a roaring fire that was the sole light source in the room. It's occupant a fuming Dark Lord gazing into the flames with a desire to cause destruction at a failed nights work.

"My Lord let me explain" Snape began feeling his knees buckle beneath by an invisible force so he was now kneeling before the chair that had its back to him. "Albus Dumbledore was there my Lord. He turned up the moment I created the Dark Mark over Godrics Hollow"

Voldemort was around the chair and before Snape in an instant "Go on"

Snape spewed out his lies about begging Dumbledore and pretending to reform and that the moment Dumbledore knew Voldemort was on his was way to the village sent out a warning to divert elsewhere.

"My word Severus you have had an eventful night" Voldemort spoke softly and paced around the kneeling Snape "So the location of the boys is still unknown?"

"Yes my Lord" Snape nodded occluding his mind with all his strength "Now do you understand why I could not return to your first call"

"I do Severus" Voldemort seemed deep in thought "What of the mother?"

"She's…well she's at Hogwarts my Lord" Snape cursed himself but needed Voldemort to believe him "For how long I do not know"

"Do they trust you Severus?"

"Enough to not send me to Azkaban"

"But not to provide you information" Voldemort brushed his cold hand across Snape's shoulder "Shall we make them trust you?"

"Are you suggesting I act as a spy My Lord?"

"That is precisely what I am suggesting" Voldemort was smiling now which was uneasy to witness "They believe you have reformed...provide them with certain information and in time _you_ could lead me to both prophesied boys"

"What am I meant to tell them My Lord?"

"Obviously you cannot make up information they'll know you're lying eventually…how about names, names no-one cares about"

"So obviously not Malfoy for he works at the Ministry along with Crouch."

"Use you initiative Severus...little things that show you have 'reformed'" Voldemort gave a laugh, Snape had never seen him this excited before "Obviously do not tell them _everything"_

Snape heard the slither of Voldemort's pet snake Nagini somewhere in the darkness behind him causing him to flinch "Is that all My Lord?"

"Is it safe for you to return to the castle tonight?" Voldemort asked "Surely you will not be able to sneak back in"

"I'm sure I will be fine" Snape said still on his knees focussing all his energy of occluding his mind of thoughts of previous conversations with Dumbledore and seeing Harry in the crib safely tucked away in Hogwarts.

"Good" Voldemort forced Snape to stand with an invisible force "Go then but Severus…when I summon you, you come at once unless there really is not time to"

Snape gave a sharp nod before striding out of the room and into the entrance hall of the Malfoy manor where he nearly tripped up a House –Elf pressing his ear against the door.

"Get out of here" Snape hissed as the tiny House Elf scurried away whimpering at being caught eavesdropping

A nearby door opened and Lucius Malfoy stormed out but stopped when noticing Snape "Severus…I don't suppose you've seen my insufferable House elf Dobby have you?"

Snape shook his head "I'm leaving anyway"

"So soon?" Lucius smirked "You've gotten an habit of running off haven't you, leaving me to clean up"

Snape ignored his comments and headed for the front door, his meeting with The Dark Lord had lasted longer than he cared for, and he was eager to return to Hogwarts. Everything had happened in a matter of hours, his entire life turned upside down yet there was a tiny spark of light still left making him carry on; Lily. He would live for her.

He apparated outside the school gates where he was introduced to an unnaturally icy atmosphere. Shouting could be heard near the castle causing Snape to wield his wand ready to defend himself if needed yet he soon lowered it and stared in awe as the largely cloaked figures carried a screaming man from the castle grounds.

It was only until they were closer did Snape realise it was Sirius Black being escorted out of the grounds by two Dementors.

Sirius was kicking and screaming wildly and even more so when seeing Snape "Snape you Bastard! I'll kill you for this!"

_Shame…I really fancied knocking his teeth back myself…_

Snape entered the Entrance Hall and was greeted by a numb looking Remus Lupin. "Severus…"

"Lupin" Snape eyed him up and down expecting to be attacked "Just bumped into Black"

"Yes" Lupin nodded his voice very shaky "He's been arrested on the suspicion of murdering several muggles and is suspected of being Lily and James Secret Keeper…I've lost my three best friends in one night"

"Three?" Snape asked his stomach lurched automatically thinking of Lily.

"Peter" Lupin said rubbing his arms as if getting a chill but it was more from the shock "Peter Pettigrew"

Snape vaguely remembered the rodent looking boy that followed Potter and his mates around the school "What happened to him?"

"He's missing…presumed dead…they found his severed finger at one of the muggle crime scenes" Lupin then began to idly walk away "Excuse me…I need some air"

Snape silently allowed Lupin to pass him before hurrying up the stair case to the Hospital Wing. He nearly collided into a group of Aurors who were now stood outside the great double doors to where Lily was sleeping. Dumbledore crept out of the hospital wing not wanting to wake up Harry.

It seemed the news of him reforming had been an extreme matter of urgency as Mad Eye Moody stormed up to him and pointed a wand directly at his face "Do not move"

Dumbledore stepped forward "What did I say about Harry?"

"What?" Severus was confused.

"Answer quickly, before you left what did I say about Harry in the Hospital Wing?" Dumbledore snapped now reaching for his wand.

Snape then realised he was making sure Snape was not an imposter " He has his mother's eyes"

Dumbledore nodded and all those who had drawn out their wands put them away "Everything in order Severus?"

Snape nodded "If you'll excuse me"

Before Mad Eye could stop him Dumbledore placed an assuring arm on Made Eye as if to say 'leave him be'. Snape then entered the Hospital Wing, a dim light shone out of the back room where Madam Pomfrey must have been residing. Dumbledore followed him in where Severus quickly told him in a hushed tone what happened when he went to see The Dark Lord resulting in Dumbledore reassuring him he will be safe and can remain at the castle as long as he needed. But now Severus was alone and sat at Lily's bedside silently hoping she would wake not before long did his fatigue take its toll on him as his head slowly drifted forward and embraced slumber ever so willingly.

_He was dreaming of a past time…at Hogwarts…Lily is with him…it was just how he remembered it just slightly hazing a the colours washed away…_

_He was in the Shrieking Shack, his sleeve rolled up where the Dark Mark had just been branded on him only an hour ago…back at the castle everyone was celebrating graduation…_

_Lily had found her way to him…they had not spoken in a long time…he quickly pulled down his sleeve to hide the Mark…_

_They are speaking but the conversation is muffled…he is apologising and she smiles…the rest of the dream passes in a blur…Dark Marks burning in the sky…corpses at his feet…Harry Potter in the cupboard under a pile of coats…_


	2. Made Of Scars

**So first 2 chapters are up. Let me know what you think :) **

Chapter 2 - Made of Scars

Snape woke extremely disorientated as the sounds of children's chatter and footsteps startled him from his sleep where he found he was no longer in the Hospital Wing but now laid upon a made bed in a small round room with a thin window looking out over the Quidditch pitch. He rubbed his eyes and forced himself from the bed opening the door very slowly to find a sea of students making their way up a flight of stairs in the North Tower towards the Divination classroom.

It was a very vibrant atmosphere in Hogwarts this morning as the students were totally unaware of last night's events that had caused Snape so much commotion. He forced his way through the tide of students feeling rather nostalgic seeing the different uniforms once more, but not content as he dreaded his schools years.

He collided with someone "Sorr-"

"Sorry" a frizzy haired woman muttered running along the corridor after the students carrying text books and a crystal ball in her hands.

It was Trelawney, the woman he had eavesdropped on to obtain the prophecy about Harry Potter. Snape just stared at her wanting to blame her when really he had only himself at fault, he had no time to waste on Trelawney, he needed to see if Lily had woken up and how on earth did someone managed to get him all the way to the North Tower last night after falling asleep at her bedside.

He marched into the Hospital wing to find it bright and airy; a small Ravenclaw boy dressed in blue Quidditch robes lay in one bed near the door while the others were vacant. Madam Pomfrey entered from the back carrying a bottle of Skele-gro.

She grunted upon seeing him "Look here you, it took me near on twenty minutes to get you up to the North Tower last night – what were you playing at, falling asleep down here, do you really think the poor girl wanted to wake up and find you sprawled out beside her?"

"How?" Snape frowned.

"Sleep Walking Charm" Madam Pomfrey tisked and placed the bottle of skele-gro beside the Ravenclaw boy's bed. She then turned to Snape looking more sympathetic "She would not stop crying, obviously, but I think she is in Dumbledore's office now"

Snape was outside Dumbledore's as quickly as he could passing hardly any students now as they should have been in classes. He then froze outside the stone gargoyle, not because he did not know the password as he had heard it last night, yet the thought of seeing Lily for the first time properly in months and she must hate him. Snape was bracing himself for a slap in the face the moment he stepped through the door.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder and he turned to see Professor McGonagall "Severus, she knows _everything"_

"It does not change anything" Snape stated now fixed on the Gargoyles eyes _I just want to be right again._

"I think you'll be surprised" McGonagall removed her hand from his shoulder "_Lemon Drops"_

The stone gargoyle leapt aside revealing the revolving staircase and Snape stepped on it making his way towards the office where faint voices could be heard muffled by the oak door. He hesitated outside.

Inside the office however Dumbledore was sat on an overstuffed armchair by a glowing fire with Harry sat on his knee staring into the flames. He then lowered the boy to the floor when he felt a presence looming by his door. "Come in Severus"

The oak door slowly opened and Snape briskly entered with his robes flowing as if he had not been debating about entering but appeared rather confident.

"Head Master" Snape's eyes were then drawn to Harry at Dumbledore's feet "I came to see…how everything was"

Dumbledore smiled knowingly "Lily is in my bathroom composing herself, we have just had to discuss funeral arrangements"

_Funeral…_

James potter's funeral had definitely never entered Snape's mind; he knew she would be grieving and possible for a very long time yet organising a funeral would be hard for her.

"I'll leave you two alone" Dumbledore said picking up Harry "I'm going to take young Harry to Hagrid who I believe is looking forward to babysitting again"

All went deadly silent once the Head Master had left, the fire crackled occasionally but Snape was too scared to move across the creaky floor to take a seat. Instead he stood staring into the embers of the fire until a creak upon the stairs forced him to turn around and see Lily standing half way down them staring back at him.

She descended to the floor Snape was on and moved around Dumbledore's desk where she then leant against it not taking her eyes off of her old friend. "Where did they go?"

Snape swallowed the knot in his throat "To the Grounds Keeper"

It appeared Lily had been crying heavily; her eyes were red and sunken, her red locks fell lifelessly around her. "Good, Hagrid enjoys Harry's company"

There was a moment of silence where nobody moved but Severus decided to break it "Lily…I just wanted to say –"

"-Don't" Lily snapped turning her head away "I know what you're going to say and it is not needed. It is I who should be thanking you for saving both mine and Harry's lives. We owe you greatly"

_No you don't…._

Before Snape could reply she carried on "There is no point apologising over James's death, I know you could not save him and it was more than clear how you felt about each other….he would not want your pity"

Snape turned away from her and resumed gazing into the fire "I take it Dumbledore has told you everything then"

"Yes" Lily sighed "I cannot begin to piece together everything just yet or contemplate my part with The Order until after the funeral"

"Of course" Snape nodded wanting to comfort her in any way he could. He cleared his throat still not looking at her "Can I just say, I am so sorry,_ not _just about James…but for everything. If there is anything you or your son need, I will do everything in my power to see it is done."

"You're still working for _him" _It was not a question "I don't know what I can tell you Severus"

He turned now a little hurt "You don't have to tell me anything…just know that I am here"

She clearly needed sometime before she would be able to talk to him so he headed for the door.

"Wait" Lily sighed "It's good to see you again…I will admit when I was told that you have reformed and are now working for The Order I was extremely uncomfortable…but after hearing what you did and what you are prepared to do has made it possible that I am standing here now talking to you"

"You mean you would have avoided me" Snape said moving away from the door now.

"I don't need any more enemies" Lily wiped her a tear from her eye.

"You heard about Black then" Snape stated with fury building up inside of him.

She scoffed "I don't know what to believe about that, surely you would have known long ago who did it, from You-Know-Who"

"I had my theories that Black was your Secret Keeper but-"

"-What?" Lily frowned "Sirius was not the Secret Keeper, Peter was."

"But, Peter is dead?" Snape frowned staring at the floor trying to put the pieces together "Did he get it out of Peter?"  
"That's what they keep telling me" Lily was crying but controlled herself "He is Harry's Godfather Severus"

That unnerved Severus more than hearing that Peter Pettigrew had been slaughtered for the whereabouts of Harry Potter. "He will have no contact with Harry I can assure you"

"Thank you" she straightened up and sniffed "Harry and I are residing here for now, it is the only place I feel safe"

"Likewise" he noticed her eye brows raise "I mean, I feel safe here not that I am staying here"

There was another moment of silence.

Lily broke it this time "I had better get going…I am meeting Remus, he's in a terrible way"

"I can imagine" Snape muttered as she passed him to go for the door "I'm sure I'll see you around"

"Thank you" Lily gave a small smile "Sev."

She closed the door behind her leaving Snape feeling warmer. _Sev…_ It had been a very long time since anyone had called him that…well Lily was the only one who did.

Dumbledore returned shortly and gave him a knowing smile to which Snape shyly turned away "That wasn't so bad was it Severus?"

"She should have hexed me" Snape swallowed the knot in his throat that had developed through his conversation with Lily.

They then began to discuss what information could be passed to Voldemort, obviously it had to look like they were testing the waters so it was never anything important. Names were passed to Snape but the spellings were wrong or the known whereabouts were completely inaccurate, a couple where even of deceased Aurors but it was enough to make Snape seem he was playing his part. Snape then told Dumbledore everything he knew, known hideouts and meeting points, names and addresses and finally what was he to do in the meantime.

"Lord Voldemort does not think you are an acting Spy for me but rather the reverse" Dumbledore quipped "A double agent so it seems"

Snape did not get the humour seeing as it was his life on the line "I have what resembles a house in Spinners End. But I would rather be more involved in the Order if you permit me"

"Voldemort will surely want you to have found an occupation otherwise it would be very obvious you are lingering here"

"Please do not make me teach" Snape pinched the bridge of his nose.

Dumbledore laughed "Now that's a thought. No I won't force to interact with the students however Professor Slughorn and McGonagall have often suggested getting assistants in for their classes – no teaching just preparing potions before classes and helping with the animals in Transfiguration. That's something you can at least tell Lord Voldemort _and_ earn your keep while staying here"

"On one condition" Snape uttered "I do not wish to reside in The North Tower"

"A dark reminder is it Severus?" That was most likely the extent of Dumbledore saying 'that'll teach you' but instead he nodded "We'll move you don't worry, Professor Trelawney does not know who you are"

Snape spent the build-up to James's funeral moving into a vacant office in the dungeons, he helped prepare potions mainly for Slughorn and only once helped McGonagall in a class that involved enlarging animals, so it was mainly for safety reasons. He often saw Lily with Harry in the grounds on warmer nights but could not bear to invade the peaceful moments she had with her son, they spoke once or twice in passing but it was always Snape that instigated the conversation otherwise she would have simply walked passed him.

Now, however, was the day of the funeral and it was being held at a church in Godrics Hollow. Dumbledore warned Snape not to bother going as it could confuse matters should Death Eaters turn up, that and it was highly unlikely Lily would want James's childhood enemy at his grave. Yet Snape _was _there, in the shadows watching Lily the entire time. Harry was back at Hogwarts safe and sound despite Snape hearing Lily plead with Mad Eye.

"You cannot stop my son from going to his father's funeral!

"I can an' I will" Mad Eye snapped "He is vulnerable and I have no doubt Death Eaters will be watching your every movement "

The crowd had cleared and Lily was alone, Remus stood at the edge of the cemetery by the gate waiting for her. Snape watched as she sank to her knees placing flowers into the grave where her husband had been lowered. He restrained his urge to run up and comfort her but he also knew she needed this time with James.

"Well, well, well" came a cackle behind Snape causing the hair on the back of neck stand up "If it isn't a slimy Severus Snape"

Snape spun on the spot coming face to face with Bellatrix LeStrange "Get out of here Bella I have this covered"

"Oh yeah brooding in the darkness" she smiled "You're a liar and a sneak Snape_!"_

"Marvellous deduction, Bella" Snape rolled his eyes. "The Dark Lord will be most pleased when you return me while on duty"

"I don't believe a word of it" she spat "and I'm not the only one, _Stupefy!"_

Snape did not have time to react and found himself stunned and flung back out of the shadows and into the sunlight "_Expelliarmus!"_

Bellatrix blocked the attack and followed up with "_Crucio!"_

Snape grunted and felt his entire body jolt uncontrollably in searing pains, his wand lay useless beside him and shouting could be heard in the distance.

The pain stopped but his vision blurred as he lifted his head to see Bellatrix "Time to go Snape"

"There are Aurors everywhere" he tried to warn her she was making a mistake.

The last thing Snape saw and heard was Lily shouting something inaudible and Bellatrix's boot crushing into his nose knocking him out.

Snape's eyes were heavy as he slowly peeled them open, he could smell his own blood from his nose and that his eyes must be bruised. He found himself in the very same chamber he was previously in with Voldemort except this time he was bound by rope to the large armchair the Dark Lord had sat in. The large dark drapes had been drawn and the fire was out leaving a lamp beside the fire as the only source of light.

"Malfoy…." Snape grumbled and was greeted by a malfoy just not the one he expected "Narcissa?"

"Hello Severus" she said flatly holding in one arm her one year old boy "This is Draco, I don't believe you've met"

The blonde boy starred quietly at Snape "No, I have not…Where is your husband so that I may be unbound to return to my post"

She placed Draco down by the fire where he crawled off to a nearby armchair pulling himself to stand; far more developed than Harry, then again Lily must be very reluctant to let him go. Narcissa then pulled out her wand but Snape remained calm for out of any of the Malfoy's Narcissa had her head screwed on.

She pointed it directly at Snapes's face "_Repairo"_

Snape hissed in pain as his broken nose cracked back into place "It's better than Skele-gro at least."

"I'll take that as a 'thank you'" she sighed "I did not want to get involved"

"Let me guess, your husband is furious with me for abandoning my post leaving him at the mercy of The Dark Lord last week"

"He doesn't trust you anymore" she stated "He and Bellatrix plotted to prove this to Voldemort, Yaxley too"

"Yaxley?" Snape threw his head back in disbelief "That infuriating maggot, of course he'd jump at any chance to give a beaten…wait, that's _why_ they got Yaxley involved"

"I'm sorry Severus" Narcissa scooped up the young Draco "You're a young follower, many join not fully aware of what they're getting themselves into and run for help"

"I can assure you this is not the case" Severus eyes were wide "I was at the funeral for a specific reason, it's not like I went to _mourn_"

"No need to explain yourself to me, _they_ will want to make sure…" She walked away as the door opened and more footfalls approached him from behind "I thought you ought to be warned is all"

She was gone and Snape now felt more vulnerable as Lucius, Yaxley and Bellatrix entered the room shortly after. In truth he used to rather like Bellatrix, he found her odd behaviour rather humour…now he deemed her insane and power hungry.

"Hello Severus" Lucius said pulling his wand out of the cane he carried "I take it you know why you're here"

"Because you're all a bunch of incompetent trolls" Snape smirked noticing Bellatrix's anger "Struck a nerve Bella?"

"Hold your tongue" she hissed

"Now what will The Dark Lord say" Snape began "When he finds out you've beaten his spy into a bloody pulp?"

"He will say" came a high pitched hiss behind Snape "They were being thorough"

"My lord" Snape's heart raced increased and he began to occlude his mind "Did you wish this to happen?"

"No my dear boy" Voldemort came into view "But I do like to be entertained, at least everyone seems to be using their own initiative all of a sudden"

Before Snape could even prepare himself Yaxley's fist collided with Snapes jaw forcing him to spit out blood "How barbaric they won't use wands"

"We'll save that for later" Yaxley scoffed taking another swing this time to Snapes cheek.

After some time Yaxley wiped his hands clean of blood and stepped back where it seemed to be Lucius's turn "I'm not accustom to using fist's…but I do have a better plan because I am certain that no amount of pain will force you to explain your recent bizarre actions…I mean…you're _working_ for _Dumbledore_. It's absurd."

"Do your worse Malfoy" Snape whispered feeling his warm blood trickle down his mouth.

"Very well" Malfoy sneered "_Legilimens!"_

Snape was quick, he cleared his mind entirely and replaced all recent thoughts with past memories from his childhood and raids with fellow Death Eaters. It started to ache after a while as the images flashed by but Snape was the better man in this round.

"Nice try Lucius" Bella smirked gently nudged Malfoy aside "It's my turn…And I wanted everyone to leave the room"

"Really Bellatrix?" Voledmort hissed

"Not you of course My Lord" Bellatrix eyed Yaxley and Malfoy who in turn stormed out of the room. "Now then Severus"  
Voldemort sighed " It actually pains me to see my youngest fighting"

"Do you wish me to stop?" Bellatrix asked.

"Don't stop on my account, you see, I too need to be sure we have an _agreement_ Severus." Voldemort now had both hands on the arms of the chair and was horribly close to Snape's face "Play your part well and I'll assure you many rewards"

"Very well" Snape nodded still looking his 'Master' in the eye who after a moment smirked and move aside for Bellatrix.

"I'm going to enjoy this" Bellatrix cackle and pulled out, what Snape thought at first was her wand, a silver blade tucked up her sleeve. "Ready Severus to tell me if you've been lying"

After what seemed hours Snape suddenly realised they were not trying to pry information out of him but rather giving him a taste of what was to come should he lie. Severus Snape had little idea just how _insane_ Bellatrix was though.

Dumbledore's office was nearly filled to the brim with Aurors and other Order members, including: Mad Eye, Lupin, McGonagall, Kingsly Shaklebolt and Mr Weasley.

"We need to find him!" Lily snapped but calmed down when Remus put a comforting arm around her.

"I'm sure he's fine, Lord Voldemort rarely kills his own"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better Remus?"

"You're just being hysterical" he stated backing away when Lily gave him a warning glare.

"Hysterical?" Lily said softly "I have just buried my husband and the man that saved my child's _life_ was kidnapped right before my eyes – do NOT tell me that I'm hysterical as if I'm not allowed to be"

Dumbledore stepped forward "Unfortunately it is out of our hands"

"So we're just going to leave him?" Lily asked "After what he has done and was prepared to do?"

"He could be fine for all we know" Dumbledore explained "If we go running after him we will break his cover"

"Besides" Mad Eye coughed "We would not have a clue where to begin looking, we can't go storming all their known hideaways 'cause then they'll make new ones we don't know about"

The room went silent and Lily piped up "Then why are we all here?"

"Just in case Severus does give away information he shouldn't" Remus explained.

"You don't trust him" Lily looked Remus in the eye "Do you really think that was all an act in the cemetery?"

"Lily, after everything that has happened in the past few days there are very few people I trust." Remus looked away from her "And an Ex-Death Eater is certainly not one of them"

"We're all here for you and Harry" McGonagall tried to give words of comfort "Severus may well be fine and return back shortly…but should he not then we need to move you and your son elsewhere."

Bellatrix stared at the bloody pulp that now vaguely resembled Severus Snape tied to an arm chair. He was tough though; never screamed or cursed, just merely grunted which she took as a sign of him being in pain. So he should though, she had used nearly all forms of torture on him; burns, water, blunt and sharp objects so that all was left was her wand.

Snape grumbled as his head flopped forward against his bare chest where Bellatrix had opened his shirt to burn him.

"What was that dearie?" she came closer and knelt down looking up into his closed eyes "What did you say?"

"I…said" he lifted his head and stared at her intently "Burn. In. Hell. You. Bitch"

SMACK

His head flung backwards at the struck of her fist.

_CRUCIO!_

His body twitched in unimaginable pain from her curse.

"ENOUGH"

All was calm as Voldemort reached around the arm chair and turned Severus's face so he could look at him in the eye "This boy…has been very good…he knows what I will do should he lie…I also need everyone else to know that Severus is an exception…no one leaves their post's or refuses to come when summoned. Therefore no one is to come to me saying they are able to spy unless it is truly extraordinary"

Snape knew he meant that all known enemy avenues had been covered; he had the Ministry covered by various Death eaters including Malfoy and now Snape had access to Dumbledore.

"Now Severus" Voldemort severed the ropes and Snape fell to his knee's "What do you say?"

Snape was breathing heavily and struggled for words, not physically but mentally "…Th-Thank you…My Lord."

Snape was then allowed to leave but could barely stand so Voldemort called in Lucius and Yaxley to help him to the front door. In the Entrance Hall to the Malfoy manor Narcissa watched silently clutching Draco as the two men carried out the broken young man she was feeling sorry for.

"There you are Severus" Malfoy smirked wiping some dust off of his coat as if that made any difference to Snape's appearance at this point "Do tell Dumbledore I said hello"

With that Malfoy shoved him out the door where all of Snape's strengths vanished leaving him a crumpled heap upon the floor.

Lily had cooled off since the funeral and her thoughts now dwelled on what she going to do with herself now. Harry was in peril at all times it seemed and leaving the castle had become far too risky. She sat in a room not far from the Gryffindor Tower that was once a classroom but now been set up as a bedroom for her and Harry to use. The sun was sinking low in the sky illuminating the room in an orange glow mixed with long shadows reminding her that Severus had been gone for hours. Her only regret was not showing her appreciation for what he had done as any hope she had of him returning dwindled at the seams.

That was until she put Harry to bed in the early evening just as the sun had sunk behind the lake when McGonagall knocked and entered the room without permission.

"They've found him" her voice was stern and her eyes wide in fear yet she explained, while Lily carried a sleeping Harry in her arms, as they made their way to the Hospital Wing. "Hagrid had found him by Hog's Head in Hogsmead. He's not in a good way I'm afraid. Beaten, bruised and broken plus he has splinched himself"

Lily winced at the thought and followed McGonagall to the wing where several people were huddled around a bed. Hagrid came from the crowd and stop both Lily and McGonagall. "Woah, you don' wanna be goin' there. He's in a righ' state"

"You found him Hagrid" Lily looked up at the half giant nearly pleading "What happened?"

"I dunno, I came out o the pub and there he was. I thought it was pile of old robes chucked on the floor or summin' but when I heard 'im groan I wen' an' checked…I carried 'im back up 'ere but he really needs to go to St Mungo's if I'm honest"

Lily then heard Snape moan "No, get off me"

"This is for your own good Severus" she then heard Dumbledore say. All was quiet now "Good, he'll be out cold for a while, now all those with healer talents please come forward everyone else I will have to ask you to leave"

"Let me help professor" Lily said stepping forward and catching a glimpse of Snape in the hospital bed covered head to toe in lacerations and bruises. A bed sheets covered the lower half of his body "He should go to St Mungo's, look at him!"

"He can't go to St Mungos" Dumbledore said moving around the bed so Lily could see what he was doing. Dumbledore gently lifted Snape's arm and pulled back the sleeve revealing the tattooed Dark Mark upon his forearm "Because of this…the moment they see that he'll be shipped off to Azkaban without a trial"

Remus emerged from the crowd "Come on Lily, we can come back down later"

She hesitated for a moment then thought it was best to leave with Remus. Lily was in a strange frame of mind having just buried James earlier today and having Severus back in her life made everything more abnormal than usual. So she and Remus retreated to her room for a quiet drink and reflection of past events, which she was very grateful to him for as with Sirius being sent to prison their close nit family was falling apart.

"What do you think happened to Severus?" Lily finally asked putting her untouched glass of Elf-made wine on the table by the bed where she sat.

Remus who sat on an armchair beside Harry's crib looked intently for a moment "I don't know, Bellatrix is just as unhinged as Voldemort…She joined a few years before Severus did…I can only imagine that she doubted his actions and wanted to find out if he was lying about spying"

"It's absurd" Lily finally took a sip of wine "It's far too risky"

"He's gotten this far" Remus reassured "No one can lie to Lord Voldemort but due to Severus's unnatural Occulmency skills he is able to shield himself"

Another moment of silence before Lily put her glass down again "Do you think you will be able to watch Harry for a while? I won't be long"

Remus sighed knowing where she planned to go "He won't have woken up yet…Dumbledore gave him Draught of the Living Dead to keep him sedated while Madam Pomfrey and he patched Severus up"

"He stayed at my bedside" Lily said getting up "I know you can't stand him because I can't either, but I do not _despise _him. He saved my son's life."

Remus nodded and reluctantly replied "I'll stay here with Harry, you go"

Snape had vague images of Dumbledore, Lupin, The Grounds Keeper and Madam Pomfrey swimming in his mind as he was laid upon a bed. He ached all over and could barely function to make sense what was happening to him but as soon as he saw the clear liquid in Dumbledore's hand he knew he was about to be put to sleep and screamed for he knew he could not defend himself in his slumber.

Yet when he did finally wake it was night, he could see his clothes (Cleaned and repaired) hanging up on a hanger beside his bed from the curtain rail that had been pulled around one side for privacy and was now wearing a black flannel robe. He felt immensely drained from the potion Dumbledore gave him and struggled to sit up but when he did something stirred at the base of his bed.

It was only when his eyes focussed did he see Lily; he head resting on the very foot of the bed, her red hair sprawled out around her. Snape did not dare to move for at first he thought he must have been dreaming.

Lily woke shortly after to find a healthier looking Severus staring at her. "You're awake"

He nodded "So are you"

"How're you feeling?" she asked tucking her hair behind her ears "You were in a very bad state"

"So I remember" he was still in pain but hid it well, all his cuts and bruises had been magically healed with the exception of a bruise under his eye and a burn to his chest. "How long was out?"

"Few hours now" Lily said standing up and getting a glass of water for Severus "It's about ten now"

Snape nodded taking a sip of water she handed him "Thank you"

"God…you're a fool Severus Snape" Lily closed her eyes in annoyance

Snape widened his in shock "Excuse me?"

"What do you think you're doing?" she snapped "Are you trying your best to get yourself killed in the worse possible way?"

He was in utter shock and slightly scared to reply so he allowed her to continue.

"If you really want to die Sev throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower and be done with it, don't be so foolish and carry on what you're doing"

"If you are talking about my agreement with Albus Dumbledore I don't see your logic" he frowned "I am doing what I have to do, I do not have a choice because of the bad choices I already have made"

"I know you're not a bad man Severus" Lily's voice was warning "But this is madness, spying and getting yourself tortured to prove where you stand with Voldemort"

"I'm doing my best to help" he spoke slowly looking at her intently "Are you really angry at me for this or _everything_ I've done"

"Both" she crossed her arms "I have lost too many people Severus, and you come back it's almost like ray of hope – don't get an ego over that I said _almost_"

"I am sorry for you losses" Snape said straightening up in the bed and wrapping the robe tighter around himself for comfort but had to leave the top of his chest open due to the sore burn healing there. "I'm sorry"

"You do know it is going to take me some time to be to trust you Severus" Lily said tears welling up again "I lost James and Peter because I put my trust into the wrong person"

"I understand" Snape stated "Your last memory of me before now is not exactly a glorious painting is it?"

Lily smirked "No it's not…you were a fool Severus."

"I never wanted you to see me like that" he wished hadn't confessed that, he blamed his babbling on the potions he had been given.

"Well you went and left and that was that" Lily took her seat again near the end of the bed "There was not much a could do"

_Left?_

Snape thought that was an odd way of phrasing what he had done. He did not just _leave_ he joined the darkest of all Wizards and took part in the darkest of Wizarding crimes, not to mention handing Voldemort the damned prophecy that killed her husband – she should want him dead not mad at him for leaving.

"Well, it does not look like I'll be leaving anytime soon" Snape tried to follow her trail of thought thinking she found it too uncomfortable to discuss what he really did.

"It all went wrong didn't it Sev" she looked at him "We went wrong"

He stared down into his lap "Yes, it was disastrous"

"We did our best thought, right?" she asked "Under the circumstances…when I went with James despite everything"

"I can't honestly say I made my best judgments" He looked up at her now "You certainly did, your son is living proof"

She put a hand to her mouth; Snape wished she would stop crying "Dumbledore explained to me about Harry"

"What did he say?" Snape asked

"That he, due to this prophecy, will have the power to bring down You-Know-Who"

Snape thought for a moment, he was only a year old so it was hard to contemplate it "I'm sure he will grow up into a very powerful Wizard, thanks to his parents"

"Thank you" she smiled for once "I know you and James _hated_ each other so thank you for saying that"

There was a moment of silence, Snape had leaned over and taken a Numbing potion for the aches he had before turning to Lily "Why did you come here?"

"To sit with you, you mean?" she asked then saw his nod "I needed someone to talk to who knew what I was going through and who would not burst into tears after five minutes of a conversation – no Remus did not actually cry, it's just, he is taking it every hard plus it's near that time in the month"

Snape nodded taking a sip of potion and putting on the side table "Fair enough. You know if I have the ingredients at hand I can brew a rather powerful Wolfsbane potion"

"I assumed you could" Lily smirked "Always ticking that brain of yours"

"I'll speak with Slughorn tomorrow about it" he said resisting the urge to get out of bed and sit beside her. "What are you doing now, I mean are you staying here at the school?"

"I think I'll speak with Dumbledore tomorrow about my residence here." He nodded "It is the safest place for Harry at the moment yet I do not want to be a burden"

"He'll probably give you a job" Snape said rolling his eyes "I'm brewing potions for first years that I could do blindfolded and cleaning out iguana cages for McGonagall"

At last that made her laugh a little, they spent the next hours catching up on everything they had both been getting up to. Lily's stories were far more entertaining than he had expected, she had lived a wonderful life with James yet he found it extremely uncomfortable talking about his work for Voldemort. He only gave her glimpses of what he had been up to and confessed a few home truths about the situation now.

"Dumbledore does not trust me" Snape stated causing Lily's eyes to widen "Don't be so shocked, he has his reasons.

"But what did he say?" she asked frowning.

"Firstly I am told to reside here, possible so he can keep an eye on me, and I saw the brutal force he used to make me take that sleeping draught…I just have this feeling he thought I was up to something"

"What, like you would sneak out of the hospital wing in the night and meet your fellow Death Eaters"

Snape was silent, ashamed at how colloquial she had said that. He was no longer a Death Eater, he had promised Dumbledore, and the one man Voldemort feared the most.

"I didn't mean it like that Sev" she said looking to the clock "I'd better go, I'll probably see you around"

"I have a room in the dungeons" he cringed after saying that, damned body being drugged up on potions, "That's where I am residing now"

She nodded "See you around"

With that she left, it was like a nightmare had just come to pass. After years of hatred and ignorance he had finally been able to have a conversation with Lily. He was sure a couple of months ago that she was destined to die and would have done anything to have had that one last conversation with her like that.

Snape was certain he impressed The Dark Lord with his resistance and possible insanity of enduring the torture and was sure he would not be contacted by him for some time. He had passed through the storm but knew he was only in the eye of it. For now he would sleep.


	3. Yours To Hold

** Thank you so much for reading this far! it means a lot knowing people are getting interested. I have several chapters already written up and I want to know what you think so far so please please review so I know if this story has more interest - like I said this will be an on going fiction :) This is not a song fic but while writing I had listened to a lot of songs and were heavily influenced by them - the last chapter was Made of Scars by stone Sour and the third was Yours to Hold by Skillet (a beautiful song)**

Chapter 3 - Yours To Hold

Snape was bed bound for the next couple of days due to madam Pomfrey dosing him up with several draughts including the Living Dead. Lily had visited him only once after that where they had little to talk about, or she did anyway, Severus was more than happy to talk about the weather with her all day. After he was released from the Hospital Wing he was given a cane that he should hopefully only need for a couple of days when the cramping in his leg went away due to splinching himself. He then retreated to the dungeons avoiding Slughorn so that he did not have to endure the tedious task of brewing a cure boils for first years. He later remerged from his room besides the Potion Master's office with a cauldron filled half way making it hard for him to walk with his limp but he did his best climbing the stairs, and the grand stair case, and the moving stair cases even taking a short cut behind a tapestry he had found in his fourth year to reach the floor in which Lily was staying.

He knocked once and heard a faint "Come in" yet it was not Lily's voice.

"Snap" Lupin smiled though Snape thought he had tried to invent an odd nick name for him until he realised Lupin too was leaning on a cane; most likely aching from his recent transformation.

Snape entered "Lupin, just the person I was looking for"

Lupin frowned and looked at Harry who just gurgled "What for?"

"I was unable to do this due to my… impediment" Snape placed the cauldron on the table near the door "Wolfsbane potion, it needs to be left and will remain hot for a couple of weeks but after that it is ready to use."

Lupin was astounded "Thank you Severus"

"Don't worry I didn't _poison_ it" Snape went to leave but stopped when strange wailing noises forced him to turn back only to see Harry making odd noises babies do from his crib and was pointing at Snape "He seems livelier"

"Yes" Lupin smiled "Lily is with Dumbledore, I've been babysitting and too have noticed Harry's development…soon he'll be flying a broom"

That just brought back memories of having to watch James Potter during Quidditch "I'm sure he will be"

"Speaking of which" Lupin asked most likely trying to make small talk "Are you going to watch the match?"

"A Quidditch match?" Snape was confused "Here?"

"Yes, I know it seems odd but it is Gryffindor vs Slytherin" Lupin smiled "Might be some fun, take the weight of us all for a while"

"I highly doubt it" Snape spun around his robes flowing with him and hobbled out with his cane slamming the door behind him. He was in no mood to be sat in the cold watching Quidditch.

That was until he bumped into Lily on the staircase "Severus, good to see you up and about"

"It was about time" Snape smirked "One more day of having to listen to madam Pomfrey moan at ill and injured children and treated me like one I would have downed the entire Draught of Living Dead"

Lily gave a small laugh "Yes, she's a great at her job but her bedside manners can be appalling…Are you going to watch the Quidditch Match, it's the last one before Christmas"

"I suppose I can" Snape replied.

"Well Dumbledore said there is plenty of space in the staff box, so join us there" Lily smiled and passed him on the staircase but as soon as she had gotten off of it, the whole thing magically moved to Snape's annoyance.

He sighed and got off and the wrong side of the floor he wanted to be on and carried on only to be called by a small blonde headed boy in a Slytherin uniform "Excuse me?"

Snape turned, the boy must have been in his first or second year he was tiny "What?"

"Are you Severus Snape?" he asked "I'm Colm Yaxley"

Snape eyed the boy "What do you want?"

"My uncle sends his regards is all" With that boy headed for the stair case that Snape had just departed. The boy was utterly innocent and clearly had no idea what Snape was up to and most likely what his family were up to either. Either way Snape would have to keep an eye on that boy just in case.

It was a dry yet cold afternoon when Snape made his way to the Quiddtich pitch after a successful day avoiding Slughorn. He had spoken with Dumbledore who had assured that all is well and Snape is to return Voldemort when he wishes or is summoned. In the meantime he was going to attempt to rekindle what was left of his childhood relationship with Lily.

"You'd think" Lupin's voice came from behind Snape as he ascended the spiral stairs to the staff box "That with all the magic in the world, a lift to the high boxes would be easy enough to have"

Snape too was struggling on the stairs with his cane but not as much as Lupin appeared to be. He stopped every so often but made it to the top where Lily was sat holding Harry next to Dumbledore.

Snape, being ahead of Lupin, took the seat beside her and noticed straight away the red and yellow scarf wrapped around Harry, the Gryffindor logo had J.P stitched into it.

"Nice of you to join us Severus" Dumbeldore commented and turned around where Lupin was sat "And you Remus"

Both men nodded clearly tired from that walk up the stairs.

Lily smiled "You alright Severus?"

He nodded suddenly feeling rather anxious "I have not watched a match in years"

"You weren't much for playing it either if I recall" she added "Not that you didn't fly well"

"It wasn't my thing" Snape smirked remembering that yes, James Potter had been an excellent Quidditch player but he and Snape in their first flying lesson raced where Snape had beaten by a long shot. "I bet Harry here will take after his father no doubt"

Lily bounced Harry on her knee causing the boy to look directly at Snape where the bright green eyes gazed into the black. "I think he likes you"

"He definitely has your eyes" Snape said that in a more mesmerised tone than he intended but Lily did not seem to notice.

"He'll probably get his father's eyesight no doubt" Lily said wrapping the scarf tighter round Harry just as the game kicked off.

The pitch roared as the whistle blew Gryffindor took the lead scoring in the first minute to which Lily and Remus merely smiled in delight. McGonagall, who was sat in front of Snape clapped loudly for her house. Snape suddenly felt a little more of an outsider than normal, at least at school he was surrounded by fellow Slytherins during Quidditch matches.

However Slytherin picked up the pace scoring the next two goals with one Quaffle and the other a bludger. Snape remained fixed on the game and had not cheered for his old house as the others had. It was only when Gryffindor scored again bringing the match up to equal points did Remus shout for joy and Lily clapped also encouraging Harry who made the odd baby wailing noises again.

After half an hour everyone was cheering and booing except Snape who remained mutual in his docile state. Harry had gotten bored of the game and was instead trying to grab Snape's cane that was leant beside him and Lily. Snape moved out of the boys reach to which caused Harry's bottom lip to quiver resulting in Snape quickly placing it back within the boys reach.

The match was close with Slytherin in the lead by twenty points when they scored another, Snape hissed a _"Yes_" under his breath but Lily heard him and smiled knowingly.

The game ended with Slytherin winning and Snape clapped keenly for his old house feeling rather nostalgic. He joined Lily down the stairs where Lupin left to go and rest.

"Did you want to go back inside?" he asked looking at Harry who might be cold.

"I don't mind, I haven't actually been out on the grounds since I got here" Lily said looking towards the great lake.

"Would you like to go for a walk then?" he asked trying not to sound too eager or forward for she he just lost her husband and barely trusted him anyway. Sometimes he thought she was just humouring him, waiting for the day he would betray and her and she would not shed a tear because she knew it was coming.

They headed for the lake as the afternoon sun gleamed on the ripples, Snape held his hands behind his back and watched Lily as she stood by the water's edge holding Harry tightly. She was talking to him but the he no idea what comforts the mother was saying to her child for the wind blowing in his ears.

Something then dawned on him as he watched them "Has Harry not started walking yet?" remembering Draco at the mansion pulling himself to stand using the chair, they must have been the same age.

Lily turned "Honestly, I haven't encouraged him. Nowadays my instinct is to just pick him up and clutch him tight"

That remark even pained Severus to hear, he never knew a mothers love, not that he could remember anyway. "Well, he's a bright boy…I'm sure he'll be flying a broom soon enough"

Snape then took a seat on a cold boulder a little further back from the water just watching Lily who was now kicking stones in the lake making Harry laugh when it splashed. Snape's attention was drawn to a large but beautiful Threstral that soared overhead and into The Forbidden Forest. It seemed Lily had seen it too as she look intently at it fly overhead.

_Oh please don't say she witnessed James's murder…_

Lily returned to kicking stones in for Harry "Strange creatures don't you think?"

"Hmm" was all Snape could utter.

"Threstrals" Lily turned to him "Strange, I never used to see them until sixth year"

"I could always see them" Severus admitted then dropped his gaze to the pebbles at his feet "I'm not even sure who it was I must have seen pass away, I just assumed it was a relative"

That was true, he did not want Lily thinking it was his deeds for Voldemort that had caused him to be able to see them.

"They remind me of decaying horses or something" her face was screwed up.

"I think they're beautiful" Snape then looked up; it was like they were back as students debating on their differences.

"You always saw the beauty in things others did not" Lily smiled.

"Not all things are hideous and filled with darkness, it just depends…"

"On what?"

"What many consider dark I consider great, it just depends on the context"

"If you're referring to the Dark Arts Severus that is still something I will never understand" she took a seat next to him on the boulder where Harry grabbed Snape's cane again.

"I just think the Dark Arts can be great and powerful, they are only considered dark because of the misuse of it by Dark Wizards" Snape was being direct, not snapping at her or lowering her opinions. In fact it was a decent conversation. "For example, speaking to animals in their own tongue is considered Dark Arts but that is because the majority of those who can do it, used it for their own personal gain"

He thought of The Dark Lord whispering to his vile pet snake as it curled around him or struck out at his victims.

Lily had lowered Harry to the floor now and was holding his hands clearly not wanting to carry on the conversation about Dark Arts. "Come on Harry, you can at least stand for me"

Lily was holding Harry under his arms while Harry grabbed his mother's knees. Snape watched entranced, it was certainly something in life he would never witness again. She let him go and Harry was standing on his own but keeping balance by holding on to Lily.

"See" Snape smirked "He'll be flying a broom in no time"

Lily gasped as Harry shifted his weight to walk along her knees to Snape just as Draco had done along the armchair "That's it Harry"

Snape was looking down at the boy who had one hand on his mothers left knee and the other on Snape's right looking up at him "It doesn't count unless you let go"

"Oh please Severus" Lily hissed jokingly then started crying "Sorry"

Snape was wide eyed, had he done something wrong? Harry was now sat at Snape's feet while Snape was dumbstruck at what to do about the crying woman beside him. He gently put a hand on her shoulder then bravely moved it to her knee. It was only when Harry began tugging on his trouser leg did he realise.

_James will never see his son grow up…his first steps…and here I was, his bloody enemy watching in ewe._

Snape scooped Harry up and held him awkwardly for Lily to take as if he was handing a teddy bear to a crying child. Lily however took Harry and hugged him tight "Th-thank you…what must you think of me Sev…crying all the bloody time"

"I would say you're human" Snape replied titling his head and looking at her "Lily you're the bravest woman I know, I would consider it extremely abnormal if you did not cry after everything that has happened"

"Well thank you anyway" she said wiping her eyes then stared fixedly at Snape "You owed James a life debt"

That's not what Snape was expecting to hear "What?"

"When he stopped you from going into the shrieking shack that night" Lily began "You owed him"

"Right…" Snape had not forgotten for he was often plagued with nightmares of being chased by a werewolf.

"I think you can certainly say you've repaid him" Lily said placing her hand on Snape's knee as he had done earlier but removed it after a moment "Thank you"

A sudden weight felt like it had been lifted "He saved my life, I did not save his"

Lily smiled and looked to Harry "Harry was his life"

Snape turned to the boy now not seeing those bright green eyes of hers but the miniature version of James Potter. "I never did get to say how sorry I really was –"

"-Dumbledore told me that you had sworn your allegiance to him if you placed all of us into a safe house" Lily smiled. "Please, you have done enough. We owe you greatly."

Snape suddenly felt sick _She doesn't know it was I who told The Dark Lord the prophecy in the first place…_

"I think I'm going to head back" Snape said feeling rather uncomfortable now. She should hate him not thank him, it was his fault James died and she nearly did too. He was glad she joined him back up to the castle where they parted ways in the entrance hall. Snape planned to remain hidden in the dungeons but was caught by Slughorn at last forcing him to help grad second year essays.

He was sat in the Potion Masters office with Slughorn as they both graded papers. It was quiet despite Slughorn trying to start conversations that would slow down their progress.

"You know Severus" Slughorn began "You were one of my top pupils"

Snape nodded "I remember the parties you would invite us too"

"Not that you attended any of them" Slughorn quipped "Actually Severus what I'm getting at is that I'm leaving"

Snape stopped marking and looked up from the papers to the older man before him " Sir?"

"I'm retiring at the end of the year, I've just had enough really, I'm ready to move on" Slughorn sighed "I was wondering if you would be interested in taking my place"

"Am I not too young?" Snape asked remembering when he first went to apply for the Defence against the Dark Arts post but instead came back with the prophecy. Many people had said outside the interview room that Dumbledore likes people with experience not just in the subject but in life.

"Dumbledore always takes in recommendations" Slughorn smiled "Would you like me to recommend you to Dumbledore upon my retirement at the end of the year?"

Snape now felt a bit bad for avoiding Slughorn earlier "I'll have to think about it, it's a lot for me to take on at the moment"

Snape was utterly shocked by the offer, a permanent position here mean he could easily fend for himself and it gave him a reason to stay away from Voledmort longer than necessary. It would also prove to every one of his reformation from the Death Eaters. Then I dawned on him…_Did he know?"_

"Sir, did I tell you what I had been up to upon leaving Hogwarts?" he asked pulling his sleeve down right over his cuff just in case the snakes head of the Dark Mark poked out.

Slyghorn shook his head "I imagine a bright lad like yourself found a job as an apprentice or perhaps travelled?"

"Yes" Snape nodded realising that Slughorn was not really listening and clearly had not idea of his past "I did a lot of traveling"

"Anywhere nice?" Slughorns nose was inching closer to the paper to read some of the students tiny handwriting.

"Not really" Snape sighed marking the rest of the essays.

Snape left Slughorn's office feeling drained and ready to sleep yet muffled voices down the hall caught his attention. He limped down the corridor towards the stone steps leading away from the dungeons and into the entrance hall.

He realised it was Mad Eye Moody and Lupin.

"Do you trust him?" Mad Eye asked.

"I want to…"

"But?"

"I have no doubt he has reformed…what I do not trust is whether this absurd plan will hold up – one tiny mistake will lead Voldemort to Harry"

Mad Eye Grunted "I have Death Eaters slipping through custody each day without trial and here one lands in my lap and I can't do anything"

"Dumbledore trusts him" Lupin said softly "If Dumbledore trusts him then The Order should to – that's how I see it"

"Yeah – how you see it but not how you feel about it – Severus Snape is a vile little man who might as well have murdered James Potter with his bare hands"

Snape was shaking anger. _How dare they?!_

"What I do know…" Made Eye began "Is that Voldemort will stop at nothing to get to both prophesised boys and I mean _nothing_…you keep an eye on that Snape, Remus you hear me?"

"Of course"

There was a moment of silence before Mad Eye spoke again in a softer tone "How is Lily?"

Lupin scoffed "She just buried her husband how do you think?"

"You look after her"

"I am trying…"

"Right I had better go" Mad Eye said "Tomorrow is Black's trial – you won't believe what he has been saying about Pettigrew…the man's is unhinged"

"What is happening to the world today…?" Lupin sighed "It's like everything we knew and understood has been wiped clean"

"Constant vigilance" Mad Eye stated "You remember that Remus"

Snape had heard enough and stormed back down into the dungeons. He slammed his chamber door behind him and marched over to his work station where he had a cauldron brewing a potion for his aches and pains.

"Ignorant fools!" he barked to himself "I am lying and putting my life on the line for you all!"

Snape stirred the potion and dropped in some berries.

"This is your way of repaying me?" he scoffed slamming the lid down "You really think you understand what will happen if I am caught? Do you think he will just kill me? That would be too kind of him…"

"Can you blame them?" came an old voice behind him causing Snape to jump.

"Headmaster…" Snape had no even noticed that Albus Dumbledore had flooed down into his chambers.

"They will come around Severus but there is no point in getting angry" Dumbledore said firmly "I can say it a thousand times and you may never accept it…but it is going to take a lot of time for them to accept what has happened."

"Very well" Snape said turning back his potion and checking the colouring "Why are you here?"

"I came to ensure you were planning on residing here permanently" Dumbledore said.

"You were checking up on me?" Snape could not believe what he was hearing.

"Again" Dumbledore said "Can you blame me?"

"I have made mistakes - I know that" Snape snapped "Now I would like to make amends without having to constantly look over my shoulder."

"I just need you to understand the severity of what is going on" Dumbledore began "Emotions are running high and we all may say and _do_ things we might not necessarily do when thinking more clearly"

Snape turned back to him "What are you insinuating?"

"You know what I am talking about Severus" Dumbledore warned "We have had enough heartache this past week, let us try and not have anymore"

Snape knew he was talking the death of James Potter and the incarceration of Sirius Black but had no idea what he meant about more possible upsets. He thought for a moment and looked into Dumbledore's blue eyes intently and carefully answered "If you are suggesting that I am ignoring my duties because of Lily Potter you are very wrong…I will not lie and say she is not in the forefront of my mind right now but that is not only private but also unavoidable due to the circumstances"

"Just be careful Severus" Dumbledore had a slight glint in his eyes and gave a small smile "One more thing before go – I actually needed to tell you that you are to attend an Order meeting tomorrow. As it is your first we need to set some ground rules…good night"

Snape remained silent as the Headmaster vanished into a whirl of green flames at the fireplace. He was shocked for he was certain that he had acted perfectly normal around Lily so it was obvious Dumbledore was jumping the gun with this one. As for the other members of The Order Snape vowed he would have to keep his mouth shout should they confront him on his loyalty.

He slept very little that night being plagued by distorted nightmares of The Dark Lord, of Lily and of the castle in ruins. He would often wake in sweats and in a lot of pain so he was forced out of bed to take his potions resulting in him being exhausted in the morning.

The sun was peering over the hills as the morning birds had started to sing. He went over to the window to admire the view and saw something just as beautiful as the sunrise. He smiled as by the edge of the lake he watched as a Thestral drank from the water and beside it stood Lily stoking its nose. The sun's rays were bouncing off her flowing locks and he was certain she was crying again. He wanted nothing more than to hold her there, to comfort her but as Dumbledore warned...he had to be careful.

Snape's stomached lurched when another figure approached her and he saw that it was Remus Lupin passing her Harry. He was so entranced by her he had not initially seen them.

_At least she was being comforted…_

" By a _werewolf"_ he hissed to himself as he went to get ready for the day a head.

Snape's day had returned to normal and he was thankful nothing hare-brained had happened. He assisted Slughorn for most of the day where then an kept dropping hints about his retirement much to Snape's embarrassment for Slughorn had no idea about Snape's past.

Where ever possible Snape tried to gather the courage to ask how Lily was but it was obvious she was not in any state to have a stable conversation with him right now – too many emotions and not enough time or space on the grounds to do so at the moment. In fact Snape really wanted to speak to Lily more about The Order meeting tonight as he was concerned it might turn into an intervention about his loyalties.

So the time had come after dinner, which he missed, inside Dumbledore's office. Snape had entered the room to find only three people in there. A red headed couple sat on a small sofa and Kingsley Shaklebolt. They all eyed him knowingly as Snape entered the room and took a spot up by the fireplace.

Shakelbolt, whom Snape had known through a brief encounter during a raid extended his hand to shake "Kingsley Shaklebolt"

"Sever-"

"-I am aware of who you are" Shaklebolt cut him up warningly before turning to the red headed couple "This is Molly and Arthur Weasley"

Mr Weasley stood to shake Snape's hand "Our eldest, Bill, is in his first year here, he mentioned he had been getting a lot of help in potions recently"

Snape had no recollection of such child as he saw hundreds each day but nodded regardless and shook the man's hand. His wife seemed somewhat more reluctant to offer her greeting and remained seated.

"Forgive my wife" Arthur began in a hushed tone "This is the first time she has left our youngest with the grandparents"

Again Snape nodded as if understood the hardships of leaving a child for the first time and hoped that would be the end of it. However Arthur then began to undo his wallet and reveal a collection of photographs of several red headed children pointing out their eldest Bill and their youngest Ginny.

Thankfully Snape did not have to endure a family history lesson as Dumbledore's office door opened and in piled Mad Eye Moody who's magical eye was fixed on Snape. Behind Mad Eye came in two men dressed in dark brown Auror robes followed by Lily , Lupin and finally Dumbledore.

All was quiet as the meeting commenced and Dumbledore took his place at the desk.

"The numbers are somewhat smaller today" he began softly "The Longbottoms have gone into hiding indefinitely for the sake of their child"

Snape had an inkling from using his Occulmency on several order members that they did not want to be near any Order meetings with Snape there. He turned his attention to around the room and found Lily's mind was elsewhere as she sat beside Remus gazing out of the window.

"Mafalda Dorkins has been committed to St Mungo's when her house was attacked last week - she will be in there for some time."

"3 raids in muggle areas"

"A teacher had Durmstrang is reported to have been a death eater and has been sent to Azkaban - however it seems he is not but the Ministry does not want to look like fools"

Mad Eye then stood before them all to announce that Sirius Black had faced trail and was found guilty of murdering several muggles and Peter Pettigrew.

"Impossible" Lupin sighed and stood in agitation "It can't be true"

"It is" Mad Eye said "They had muggle witnesses"

"Can I see him?" Lily spoke to everyone's astonishment.

"Is that wise?" Mad Eye barked.

"Lily…" Remus tried to comfort her by putting his hands on her shoulders but she shrugged him away.

"I know what he is" she snapped "I know what he has done…I know he is the reason that James is dead…but I need to know _why"_

There was an intense moment of silence and all Snape wanted to was take Lily away from all this – the poor woman did not need to be hounded for her actions in her time of grieving.

"If you wish to see him" Dumbledore said "It shall be arranged"

"Thank you" Lily then sat back down this time allowing Remus to return his hand to her shoulder for support.

"Now" Dumbledore began "You have all been hearing rumours and whispers of strange doings in The Order and tonight I am setting them straight"

All eyes were on Snape now.

"Severus Snape is here on my invitation and is now a member of The Order of the Phoenix. He is a reformed Death Eater and now a spy for us…I have my utmost faith in Severus and I hope you will do the same"

"How useful can you be?" Mad Eye asked "Has your master said anything of use of late?"  
Snape was mentally hexing Mad Eye and carefully replied with what he knew "The Dark Lord is currently obsessed with finding the location of both prophesied boys…as for spying he asked me to pass on information to him about all Order members…obviously he does not know who is the Order and I have passed on fake names and addresses to houses that have been abandoned for some time." Snape said this all quickly so that he could not be interrupted.

The rest of the meeting passed uneventfully and Snape was eager to leave as soon as possible. In doing so he was first out of the room and making his way down towards the dungeons where he nearly collided with Lily.

"Sorry" they both said in unison then stopped and stared at each other.

"Are you alright?" Snape asked her as she looked shaken.

"I'm fine" she lied.

"Something is on your mind" he could tell through Occulmency.

"I –I just wanted you to know I trust Dumbledore" she said slowly "Which means I trust what he said about you"

"Well I'm glad" Snape said a little offended "I thought it was due to my actions you trust me"

"Severus" she warned "I can't do this tonight – not tonight…"

"Sorry"

"Stop saying sorry" she shook her head "Goodnight Severus"

Snape watched her descend the moving staircase and could not help but feel her pain. He wished they could go back to how it used to be. To the days Lily would openly tell him everything and anything. Where she would greet him with a friendly hug not a sad smile.

He retreated down to his chambers feeling worse after the meeting and attempted to sleep where his mind was plagued with horrid dreams of past events as a Death Eater mixed with happier times with Lily. Snape knew only time would tell but was certain he would get their friendship back to the way they used to be even if it took all year he vowed to set everything right again.

**Thank you for reading! Please review - I really want to know what everyone is thinking. The next chapters will come shortly and this is where the story really picks up the pace :)**


	4. Setting A Storm In Motion

**Please please please review - I'd love to know what people are thinking. I have a lot of readers but only a few reviews. Ay questions or advice - I welcome them all :)**

Chapter 4 - Setting A Storm In Motion

Christmas was nearing Hogwarts and Snape had managed to send a message, via floo, to Voldemort explaining the situation at Hogwarts and that he had no idea where Harry Potter was. This had hopefully tied him over for the holidays as he did not fancy having his Dark Mark burn during the only quiet time he would have, especially if it was time he could spend with Lily.

Snape marched his way to the Great Hall where he had been summoned by Dumbledore. He forced his way through crowds of students leaving with their trunks to go home. The corridors were decorated in tinsel as partridges flew about the place, he also nearly obliterated Peeves when he nearly dropped Exploding Mistletoe on Snape's head.

Some of the teachers were gathered at the head table, the house tables had many students saying their goodbyes to those who were staying and snow was gently falling and vanishing from the enchanted ceiling.

"Head Master" Snape said to show his presence and was greeted by Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, Flitwick and Lily shortly made an appearance after handing Harry to Hagrid who stood by the HufflePuff table.

"Good evening Severus" Dumbledore smiled "We have gathered here to discuss security of the students staying over the holiday, we are the only teachers here except professor Slughorn which is why I summoned you, Severus"

Slughorn then handed Snape the keys to the dungeons, all the keys. "It's yours for the holidays, use it wisely"

Snape nodded knowing full well Slughorn just wanted Snape to keep everything in order and to prevent any students from breaking in over the holidays to brew potions they shouldn't. "You're too kind" sarcasm was not the word for his attitude but thankfully only Lily noticed as she silently held in a laugh.

They then discussed who would watch over which house and what corridors needed patrolling leaving Lily's situation last.

"I'm staying here" Lily stated "I have nowhere to go and even if I did I am not taking Harry off of these grounds until I know You-know-Who is dead and buried"

"Nicely said" Flitwick smiled.

"Well you have your quarters dear" McGonagall stated "Of course they'll be room for you, and Severus too, at the staff table on Christmas."

Lily smiled and Snape stood idly actually rather dreading the thought of having to socialise with his old teachers at Christmas. Then again he may have to do it every day if takes Slughorns offer…

"Everything alright Severus?" Lily asked as they left the Great Hall.

He nodded noticing she was alone "Where's Harry?"

"Hagrid is looking after him for a while, he loves Hagrid's dogs" Lily smiled "Such a caring man"

"Hmm" Snape muttered then remembered it was Hagrid who had saved him the night he splinched himself "Yes he is, I never did thank him for saving me"

"I'm sure he knows you mean well" Lily began "You know I spoke to Sirius"

Snape stopped her in her track half way up the great stair case they were walking up "What happened? How?"

"I went to Azkaban, accompanied by several Aurors of course" she started "I was allowed two minutes with him to which he spent pleading on his knees to believe him that he did not do it"

"Did he explain what happened?" Snape asked "The prophet said he killed Pettigrew to get the location out of him then went on a killing spree"

"_He_ said that Pettigrew blew up the street killing the muggles, all that was left was his finger which Peter apparently did himself…I don't know what to believe"

"Either way if that is true then Peter is working with Voldemort" Snape shook his head "I have never seen him"

"He's an animagus" Lily admitted "If it is true, which I have no clue, I hate both stories…he is most likely living in the sewers as a rat."

Snape placed both hands on her shoulders "Lily, I will do all I can to find out, I swear it…you're not going to start crying again are you?"

She shook her head holding back tears "But I do wish James could see you now"

"I'm sure he wouldn't say the same" Snape smirked and walked Lily to her room near the Gryffindor tower. He stopped and leant against the doorway "You know, I have been offered a chance to work here"

"That's wonderful news, well done"

"Slughorn is leaving" Snape stared at her "I don't think I'd enjoy teaching potions though"

"Well I can't see you teaching charms either, no offence" Lily smiled leaning on the opposite side of the doorframe facing Snape.

"There is no way Dumbledore will allow me to teach Defence against the dark arts" Snape shook his head "That I wouldn't mind teaching"

"You'd be excellent at that…but I understand why Dumbledore will not allow it, besides the jobs cursed. No one lasts a year I swear"

"That is true" Severus gave a laugh "How we passed NEWTs I'll never know"

Lily smiled and unlocked her door "Well goodnight Severus"

"Lily" he stopped her "Will I be allowed to go to Azkaban?

Her eyes gazed down his body and it took a moment for him to realise she was staring at his arm "Not with that you won't, Dementors will sense it a mile off…so unless you can get Dumbledore or some of The Order to accompany you I doubt they'll let you visit as if you were a family member…G'night"

The door closed "Goodnight"

Snape went straight into the dungeons and picked up a nearby cauldron and began collected various ingredients form the store. He spent the majority of the night preparing and brewing the most potent Veritersrum. He was so excited about it, but obviously did not show it emotionally, he took a vial and went to Lily's room near on midnight.

The door opened a creak and she peered out clearly having been woken. She whispered "Severus, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong I have something that might just be right" he whispered back knowing Harry must have been asleep. "I have a plan about Black"

She opened the door and wrapped her dressing gown tighter around her before letting Snape in to which he stepped forward only to stare at her. She was wearing a long silk nightdress covered by a bathrobe. Her red lock fell down her back and Snape thought she was beautiful.

"What is it?" she said in a hushed tone as Harry stirred in his sleep.

He pulled out the vial of Veritersirum "I have concocted an extremely powerful truth serum…it can be used on Black"

He eyes went wide "What?"

"You can take it to him, make him drink it and ask him what happened" Snape struggled to keep his voice down and tried ever so hard to sound like he was not doing it to impress her…though in the back of his mind he mostly was doing just that.

"They search you before you go in" she said seeming annoyed to be woken by this mad notion.

"I can easily hide it" Snape assured her "A glamour or charm will do the trick"

"Severus I really appreciate your methods and I always thought you were nocturnal but can we not discuss this tomorrow" she asked "Besides how do you know it worked, not doubting your skills, but what if Sirius takes it and says he didn't do it and for some fluke reason he is let off and he did do it"

"We can test it" he looked at the bottle "Have someone drink a bit and ask them a question they will probably lie about"

"Go on then" she crossed her arms waiting "Take a sip"

"I'd rather not do it" She could have asked him anything.

"Then leave" she sighed heading for the bed "I wasn't going to ask anything incriminating, I'm not cold hearted Sev."

It was like she had read his mind "Fine then"

Lily watched as Snape pulled the top off of the bottle and take a large gulp. "Did you put dung bombs in petunia's room when we were 10?"

He nodded then rolled his eyes "Why ask me that?"

"Because I didn't do it but got into so much trouble for it" Lily snapped pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I didn't need the potion to answer that, I'm not 10 anymore." He shook his head "Ask another"

"Who was your first kiss?" a smirk crept across her face.

"Mary Marylebone" he closed his eyes in annoyance "There, happy now?"

Marylebone was the most annoying girl in his house who would ask teacher's questions right at the end causing the class to be late. She was also the type to remind teachers about homework plus her lack of hygiene was a definite highlight when speaking to this girl.

Lily could not help but laugh "What? How did that happen?"

"Enchanted Mistletoe in my common room" he groaned "I was 14, I was stood under it unaware and it was hexed to make whoever walked under it, while someone else was, compelled to kiss them…it was horrendous and in front of _everyone."_

"So that was something you would never confess" she nodded "Is it still working?"

"It's quite strong" Snape nodded. "I think it's only fair you drink some"

"Jog on" Lily said "I believe you Severus, now if you don't mind I really would like to sleep"

"Alright" he headed for the door.

"Who would you rather your first kiss have been, name anyone from the school back then" she asked quickly before he left the room.

Severus looked at her wide eyed and quickly burst out of the door shutting it behind him where he gave a winded "_You"_

"Damn woman" he hissed heading back down the stairs thankful she did not hear his reply but just in case she followed asking more embarrassing questions he would be forced to answer.

The next morning however Snape found Lily lurking about in the dungeons outside a classroom in the early afternoon "Severus" she greeted him wearily "I want to do it"

"The truth serum" Snape nodded and led her to his chambers down the corridor. Once inside the bare room he retrieved the serum from a cabinet and handed it to. "You must be very careful not to be caught with this. The ministry are clearly unsure whether Black is truly guilty as they did not give him some in the first place. Put it in your pocket"

Lily placed it in her jean pocket and waited "Now what?"

Snape simply pointed his wand at the pocket and a blue spark shot out "There I have put perception glamour on it, though you must not draw attention to it, if they pick it up they will most likely return it to you. Just avoid any Dementors, they will catch you out"

"What are you going to do?" she asked

"I'm going with you" he stated.

"No, it's too dangerous" she frowned "I'll take Remus"

"Who will watch Harry?" Snape asked annoyed to be shot down like that "Don't look at me, he barely knows me and Hagrid is clearing out snow around the grounds"

"I wasn't thinking about that but you can't come though" Lily looked at his sleeve "They'll know what your tattoo is"

"It's not a _tattoo_ – oh forget it" he snapped "Yes I'll escort you and if anything happens send out a Patronas and I'll get help"

"Fine, Remus can watch Harry" Lily was clearly on edge "Do you have Muggle clothes?"

Snape nodded "Just one set"

"You'll need them" she crossed her arms "It's too risky to travel by floo, You-Know-Who has men in the Ministry watching that"

"I_ know"_ Had she really just let her mind slip that he has been an active Death Eater for last few years.

"Oh, right" shook her head "Of course you do…well, get changed before I change my mind…and don't tell anyone"

"Of course, no one can know - they'll stop you" Snape nodded "Meet me by the One Eyed Witch statue in ten minutes"

In that time he changed into the sole Muggle outfit he had which consisted of, all black, trousers, shoes, shirt and suit jacket. He covered it up with a travelling cloak holding a long grey Muggle coat bundled under his arm. Snape hesitated on the stairs up to the ground floor and whether reporting to Dumbledore; should Dumbledore find out he had gone behind his back he would never trust him. However he knew Lily was waiting for him and had no time so headed straight to meet her avoiding eye contact with McGonagall as he passed on in the Entrance Hall.

Lily was leaning against the statute, her arms were crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. Snape came around the corner his black hair flicking at the sides as he strode quickly towards her.

"Ready?" he asked noticing how uncomfortable she seemed.

She nodded "Let's go"

They took the secret passage by the statue and exited into Hogsmeade just as the sun was setting on a rather chilly evening.

"Apparating or flying?" Snape asked

Lily frowned "We don't have brooms"

Snape rolled his eyes "I can still fly"

Lily looked scared at that notion "I'd rather apparate"

Snape was starting to grow annoyed at her blunt behaviour towards him; he was only trying to help. So he held out his hand for her to take "I'd rather not have to try and navigate around London trying to find you, let's go together"

She reluctantly took his hand and apparated into a dingy alley way somewhere off The Stand. Cars and buses rumbled nearby indicting they were in the heart of the city.

"That wasn't so bad now was-"Snape was suddenly horrified at what he was looking at "What are you doing?"

Lily had her wand pointing directly at Snape, there were no Muggle's about and he suddenly had the impression she was possessed. "Drop your wand on the floor Severus"

"I don't think so" his hand flicked for his wand.

Lily struck him with a silent _Petrificus Totalious _to which he blocked.

"Lily, what –"He blocked another "-Is "and another "The matter with you!"

She then struck him with a Sponge Knees Jinx forcing Snape to lose his balance and eye contact with her.

_"Petrificus Totalus"_ she hissed binding Snape's entire body so he was leaning up the side of the alley looking up at her. "Sorry Severus but I have to do this"

She pulled out the Veritersirum and brought it to Snape's mouth forcing the liquid in - _You only need a few drops!_ She will be having him spill his darkest secrets with that amount.

"Severus, I'm going to un-jinx you in a second" she took his wand that lay useless beside him "Don't you dare try and run"

_Why would he run? Other than the fact she had gone insane._

She released him from the body bind he was in but he remained on the floor horrified as she still had her wand pointing between his eyes. She then held up the potion "Why are you here, with me tonight?"

"Be-because I want to protect you should you get into some trouble" his breathing was heavy.

"This is not a trap to get me arrested?" her eyes were wide.

"Of course not!" he could not believe she was asking all this.

"When did you become a Death Eater?" she asked.

"I was 18" Snape's lips were a thin line hoping he could control his voice.

"Were you involved on his raids?" his wand was shaking now.

"Yes"

"Why did you become a Death Eater?"

"…I adored the Dark Arts and saw Voldemort as something great"

"Did you kill anyone?"

"…Yes"

She waited a moment then knelt down in front of him, still with her wand pointing at his face "…Can I trust you?"

"_With your life" _Snape shook his head and shifted so he was leaning closer to her "Lily I don't how many times I have to say how sorry am for what I have done in the past and for you recent grievances…but you can trust me"

He shakily lifted his hand to her wand and lowered it so it was pointing beside him "I'm sorry Sever-"

"No" he shook his head "I'm actually rather impressed"

She helped him up and returned his wand "What must you think of me?"

"I think you were planning that since I came to you last night" he looked down at her with a small smile "What would you have done if I had said you can't trust me?"

"I would have Stupefied you and sent a patrons to Dumbledore" she shook her head in shock "I'm not sure if this has made me feel any better"

"If it helps I feel a lot better" he ushered her out of the alley "There is not much you do not know about me now…I'm sure you trust me fully…and I am in the company of one very brave woman"

They silent as they made their way across London's busy streets and reached the red telephone box that led to the Ministry where she would be able to gain access to Azkaban.

"I can't go in" Snape stated tucking his travelling cloak under his arm and placing his other hand in the pocket of the grey coat he had swapped the cloak with. "I'll wait out here"

She nodded "Thank you Severus"

He watched her descend in the phone box suddenly feeling a rush of euphoria, Lily finally can trust him. He smiled uncontrollable for a moment but that soon faded.

"Severus Snape?" came a deep voice "That is him Bella"

Snape spun around to be greeted by Bellatrix and Rodolphus LeStrange walking his way not bothering to disguise themselves among the Muggles. Bellatrix wore her usual black attire with her hair frizzing out about the place while Rodolphus looked much neater in comparison to his wife. His hair flicked behind his ears, his dark beard shortly trimmed and he wore an extravagant long red coat decorated with gold buttons.

"Well ain't this a pretty sight" Bellatrix ran a pointed finger down Severus's arm admiring his Muggle clothing "Makes you look ten years older"

"What do you want?" Snape asked through gritted teeth wanting to curse her for what she had done to him.

"No no no" she shook her head "What are you doing here?"

"Out for a walk" he rolled his eyes "If you must know Bella I'm _trying_ to do my job and find out where Harry Potter is alright? Now what are _you_ two doing here?"

"We're doing real jobs" Rodolphus smirked "Unlike some we are given better jobs than just _watching_"

"You'd better be on your way then" Snape snapped "I can't be seen with you"

Bellatrix trailed off ahead but Rodolphus lingered by Snape "I saw the way you were looking at my wife…you even think of trying to retaliate for what she did to you you'll have me to deal with."

"You lay one finger on me and The Dark Lord will have you for breakfast" Snape's eyes narrowed.

"It'll be worse for you trust me" Rodolphus backed away in the direction that Bellatrix went "You're a coward Severus, sitting on the side lines, a bloody coward!"

Severus remained calm and restrained his hand from grabbing his wand and blasting the LeStranges into the Thames. He leant against a nearby iron railing waiting for Lily to return and hoped she would not be too long.

When she did return he nearly leapt at her to find out what Sirius had said "Well?"

"He drank the lot" she was shaking "He said he didn't do it, he said it was Peter…"

Snape's stomach flipped "_Pettigrew_ betrayed you?"

She nodded "He made Peter secret keeper and said it had to be Peter who sold us out to Voldemort…I-I can't believe it."

"We must tell Dumbledore" Snape held out his hand for them to apparate and he squeezed tighter than necessary before they reappeared outside the gates of Hogwarts.

They both hurried up to the castle only to be greeted by McGonagall coming down the stairs of the Entrance Hall. She stared them up at down judgingly "Out on the town were we?...Severus I was just about to fetch you…while you two have been gallivanting off we've had a crisis."

McGonagall led them both up to Dumbledore's office where Lupin, Mad Eye and Shaklebolt were sat before Dumbledore at his desk. Several other Order members and Aurors Snape had not met were always present.

"Nice of you to…"Dumbledore noticed their Muggle clothes "Join us"

Remus too looked at them suspiciously "I dropped Harry at Hagrid's if that's alright"

"That's fine" Lily said "Thank you, what's happened then?"

Dumbledore stood up "We have received word of the Longbottoms…approximately half an hour ago they were located and attacked, the child however was separate from the parents and has been for some time…the Longbottoms have been admitted to St Mungos and have permanent damage due to the torture they endured."

_Torture…_

Snape piped up "The LeStranges…"

Dumbledore nodded "Bellatrix and Rodolphus have been arrested and sent to Azkaban pending a trial but they have been on the most Wanted list for years. They will never see the light of day again"

Snape smirked thinking of Bellatrix behind bars or worse being kissed by a Dementors. Everyone in the room began to discuss further security plans. Mad Eye suddenly shouted "Why did you not know this?!"

He was pointing a finger at Snape "The Dark Lord did not confide in me about it, I had no idea"

Snape had a rush of guilt wave over him _half an hour ago…_ _They were on their bloody way to the Longbottoms when he saw them…._

"If you'll excuse me" Snape waded through the crowd and left the office only to hear Mad Eye cursing and shouting.

_"Why is he here?" he snapped "What use is he?! He could have found that out beforehand"_

_McGonagall spoke next "Calm down Alistair"_

_"I don't trust him" Mad Eye gruffly stated._

_"Well I do"_

Snape was about to walk away but that stopped him.

_Lily?_

_"Careful where you put your trust" Mad Eye warned._

_"Do you trust me Alistair?" Lily then asked_

_"Yes, you're a good natured person"_

_"Well I trust Severus, so trust me when I say he can be trusted…this leads me to discuss what Severus and I found out tonight"_

Snape smiled and descended the stairs knowing Lily had the issues with Sirius Black under control, he may not have saved the Longbottoms but he certainly saved his crumbled friendship with Lily.

With a flick of his wand his Muggle clothes were replaced with his regular black robes as he marched out of the main doors and vanished in a cloud of black smoke soaring across the sky. He travelled miles until he reached the Malfoy Manor blasting his way through the front gates up to the front door where he courteously rang the bell.

The little House-Elf he saw earlier answered "Yes?"

Snape stepped inside "Where is Lucius?"  
"Dobby will fetch his master for you" Dobby disappeared in a cloud of fog where moments later a door upstairs slammed and Lucius bounded down the stairs.

"What do you want Severus?" he asked "It's getting late"

"I take it The Dark Lord is not here" Snape began "Bellatrix and Rodolphus have been arrested"

Lucius nodded "We heard, so has Barty Crouch Jr…you did not just come here to tell me that, you can use an owl"

"Can't get much pass you…?" Snape sighed "I'm looking for Pettigrew, and don't lie I know he's on our side"

"Pettigrew?" Malfoy frowned "Never heard of him"

_He was lying…_

"Don't lie to me" Snape's black eyes glistening in the dark entrance hall of the manor

"I'm not…"

"Hmm…I just need to check something" Snape sneered "If you do see him…do send him my way"

Narcissa was on the stairs now "Severus?"

Snape looked up at her "Sorry to intrude Narcissa, I know it's late"

"No, I don't mind…I was wondering if you had any more information of my sister"

Lucius rolled his eyes "I'll leave you two to it"

_Clearly not a fan of the in-laws…_

Narcissa stepped closer to Snape "Well?"

"She and her husband are in Azkaban" Snape stared "I don't suppose you know of Peter Pettigrew?"

"I'm not sure" she shook her head "If Lucius does not know I'm afraid I won't be much help"

"Short, fat and resembles a rat" Snape crossed his arms and saw her eyes widen.

"_That's _his real name" Narcissa smirked "I only know him as Wormtail"

Snape scoffed "So where is he?"

"Following The Dark Lord like a sheep" Narcissa stepped back hearing the sounds of Draco crying upstairs "Where The Dark Lord is, you'll be sure to find Wormtail lurking about"

With that Snape left the manor returning to Hogwarts with a grand vendetta in his heart. He just had to bide him time and obtain some useful information to present to Voldemort in order not look suspicious when really looking for Wormtail. As he soared through the misty sky he felt snow falling into his face and running away like rain, a refreshing feeling having come out of a dark dank Death Eater manor.

Snape arrived back at the school feeling elated for he had discovered Wormtail's whereabouts. Not even passing a scowling Mad Eye Moody in the entrance hall was going to crush this feeling from him.

"You had better watch your steps Snape" Mad Eye warned "If you put a strand of your greasy hair out of line _I_ will be right behind you"

"I'm finding it hard to take the words of an unstable Auror seriously" Snape replied "If you cannot stand or understand the reasoning for my reformation I suggest you keep yourself away from me"

"Are you threatening me Snape?" Mad Eye barked.

"Merely warning" Snape then turned his back knowing full well Mad Eye would not dare attack a man with his back turned "Good night Mr Moody.

Snape ascended the grand staircase instead of heading down to the dungeons upon hearing voices up above him. It was clearly Remus and Lily bidding their goodbyes to each other.

"Severus" Lupin nodded to greet him "You seem…different"

"Can a man not be happy for a change" Snape stated then looked at Lily who gave him a small smile back. He had not forgotten what she had said to Mad Eye in Dumbledore's office when she defended him. "I know recent events are not for a cause of celebration but I come baring good news"

"Voldemort?" Lupin asked to which Snape ignored.

"Pettigrew" Snape said "I think his days are numbered to be quite frank"

Lily did not seem overly joyed but she nodded in agreement "So that's where you went…to find him?"

Snape nodded "I did not see him however I am near on certain he will make an appearance when I am next summoned"

That made the conversation of the trio rather tense. Lupin coughed breaking the ice before bidding them both goodnight leaving Snape alone with Lily.

"Are _you_ alright?" Snape then asked her.

She gave an unconvincing nod "I'll be ok"

"What is troubling you?" Snape could sense something was disturbing her very deeply and when she looked up at hi it seemed to burn more. "Are you worried about _me?_"

"Well I am not overly fond of you having to gallivant off at all hours to convene with You-Know-Who" she admitted "It's like the more you have to go to him the harder it is convincing other members of the Order you have reformed"

"Well it's nice to know there are some people who have faith in my Occulmency skills to not get me killed…or worse"

"Worse?" Lily shook her head "What could be possible be worse than that for you?"

Snape did not want to say it but she was waiting "If I was to slip up…he could easily read my mind…see what I have seen"

Lily closed her eyes and winced "My son…he will see that you know where Harry is"

"Precisely" Snape said "But I swear to you my skills are far from inadequate – you and Harry are perfectly safe. As far as Voldemort is aware I am merely working here to earn my keep and so that Dumbledore can keep an eye on me when I then pass on information to the Death Eaters"

She was clearly uncomfortable with this situation but nodded regardless "Well I can't thank you enough. Once again you have done more for me than you should have…and I can't believe I nearly attacked you"

"I was not surprised by your actions" Snape uttered.

"I'm sorry"

Snape smirked "Now who keeps saying sorry"

Lily gave a smile that shortly vanished as if it were wrong to be smiling at a time like this. She then waited a moment before asking "What are your plans for Christmas?"

"No idea" Snape admitted "It is not exactly on my list of priorities"

"Maybe it should" she said coldly "After everything that has happened we need some festivities"

Snape did not have to time to think for a decent reply to that as she gave another brief smile before turning on her heels and heading back upstairs towards her chambers. He cursed himself for not asking what her plans would be seeing as it would be the first without James – he assumed she would reside in the castle anyway.

Snape sighed heavily as he descended into the dungeons as he thought of how much of a moron he most likely acted around Lily and wondered how obviously he bared his feelings towards her. Yet those feelings soon wiped away as he entered his chambers to find on his desk a black envelop sealed with a green wax stamp – at the window a black owl hooted before flying away.

Snape gingerly picked it up knowing full well who it was from as the wax stamp bared the mark of a serpent – the stamp Lord Voldemort used on any mail he sent to his followers.

Snape carefully opened it, read it and then closed his eyes as if in agony for it stated:

_See you at the Christmas raid…_

**It's starting to get serious now... please review and let me know what you think :)**


	5. The Christmas Raid

Chapter 5 – The Christmas Raid

Christmas was not an easy day this year as Snape made his way to the Great Hall for lunch with the staff and remaining students. It was rather quiet being sat next to Lily who was clearly in deep thought, mostly likely thinking of James. He had not told her about his personally mission of finding Wormtail but instead tried to keep topics of conversation light and trivial.

After they had eaten everyone went separate ways, some members of staff left for the day to be with family outside of school, Severus on the other hand was alone in his chambers staring at a brown bag with two presents in he had ready to give to Lily but was debating about going up and seeing her. He knew she was with Remus and Harry enjoying the rest of the day in her chambers upstairs and he did not want to ruin it.

"All alone at Christmas" came a wheezing voice to which Snape recognised as Peeves

"Get out" Snape hissed but it was no use as Peeves began annoying him by moving his books out of order on the bookshelf. "Fine, I'll leave"

Snape grabbed the lousy bundle of presents he had and marched to Lily's room. He was greeted by Remus holding a glass of wine when he knocked on the door.

"Severus" Remus stepped aside for him to enter the room.

"I won't be long" Snape said peering in and seeing Harry and Lily sat on the floor surrounded by wrapping paper "I just came to drop in these"

Lily called over to him from where she was sat "Don't be a fool Sev, come in"

He stepped in and Remus closed the door for him , he extended the bag and handed it to her "It's not much"

"Thank you Severus" Lily then pulled out a photo frame and stared at it. "Oh my…"

It was a framed photograph of the Seventh year Gryffindor's in their common room during the graduation party. Lily, James, Sirius and Lupin are all visible and thankfully Wormtail is absent from the photo (presumably taking the photograph).

"It was the only decent one I could find" Severus stated as she was stared intently at the image.

Lily was speechless seeing as most of her personal photographs had been destroyed the night Voldemort attacked "Thank you so much" She pulled out the next one, a long silver chain with a brass arrow head shaped pendant.

"That's for Harry" Snape began anxiously "I've had it for some time but I'm not one for jewellery"

"What is it?" she asked examining a bronzed chain with an arrow headed pendant on the end. Harry's green eyes were drawn to the pendant and he crawled closer to his mum for a better look.

"I enchanted it" he explained "It won't make him immortal but, it'll stop him hurting himself from certain injuries"

"A protection pendant" Lupin smiled taking it from Lily and examining it "Very thoughtful"

He passed it back where Lily then dangled it for Harry to look at to which he held it and tried to put it in his mouth, Lily smiled and took it away "Perhaps when you're out of that habit you can wear it" She turned to Snape as she pulled Harry onto her lap "Thank you Severus"

Severus smiled briefly and went to leave only to be stopped as Remus handed him a glass of wine. "Or do you prefer Scotch?"

Snape accepted the wine and spent a good while in that room enjoying the company, mainly Lily's, that he had on Christmas. Normally each year he would spend it blissfully alone or would be called out on a raid as everyone tended to be at home on Christmas – perfect to commence a raid. However Snape had not been called and had not received any further instruction on attending any raids since the envelope he found a couple of weeks ago so attempted to enjoy the as much as he could.

They all had Christmas dinner together in The Great Hall with a few students that had been left behind. It was pleasant enough but too much for Snape for he could not relax knowing that at any point he could be summoned and of course he had not told anyone that that was a possibility.

"Severus" Dumbledore stated calmly from one end of the table "Something seems to be troubling you; you have hardly touched your meal"

"I'm fine headmaster" Snape said coldly and gave him the look to not ask again.

Of course it was not in Professor Dumbledore's nature to ignore a person when they are so clearly engrossed with some issues. Snape had barely made it out of the Great Hall when Dumbledore had called him aside for a quick word.

"Severus" Dumbledore beckoned him towards the empty Slytherin table in which he waited patiently for him.

"Yes headmaster" Snape approached Dumbledore knowing he was about to pry.

"I cannot help but feel there something bothering you" Dumbledore looked into Snape's eyes "Is there anything you wish to tell me?"

"No" Snape said then thought about admitting about the possibility of the raid however in doing this it would reveal he would be involved.

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore asked "You are aware you can tell me anything, Severus."

"I know" Snape wanted nothing more than to be miles from the room right now. He wanted to tell him but Dumbledore would stop him from going because deep down, although Snape is paying for his mistakes as a Death Eater, Dumbledore does care about his welfare and would forbid him from going. "I am fine, honestly"

"If you say so" Dumbledore gave a small smile and swept from the room. "Merry Christmas"

Severus had been so distracted by his thoughts at the table he had not realised that one of the students left behind was Colm Yaxley – nephew to the death Eater Yaxley. Now normally students stay at Hogwarts over the holidays due to family issues yet as far as Snape recalled Colm Yaxley had perfectly healthy parents and a decent family home to return to.

"Yaxley" Snape snapped to which the young faired head child jumped in surprise. "I do hope your family is well?"

"Well?" he seemed confused "Of course they are"

"Then why have you not returned to them for the holidays?" Snape asked

"They are travelling" Colm seemed unsure.

"Travelling" Snape was unconvinced and tried to pry into the boys mind with Legilimency only to find it hazy…someone has been teaching him Occulmency. "How is your uncle?"

"Fine" Colm smiled then turned his attention to Lily who thankfully was not with Harry at this point as Remus had carried him out earlier. "I have to go…"

"I'm sure you do…" Snape, for the first time in months, started to feel anxious about the safety of the castle for the boy was clearly being used to spy.

Lily then caught his eye and approached him "Are you feeling alright Sev?"

In truth he was not but he nodded suddenly feeling lightheaded "I'm fine…please excuse me"

He rushed from the Hall and out into the snowy grounds ignoring the fact he was not wearing any winter garments, just his normal black robes. His boots crunched into the thick layer of snow as he marched towards the lake in search of a quiet space to think.

The black lake was completely frozen over with an exception of a patch in the centre that looked like the giant squid had punched through it.

Snape took a deep breath and remained standing at the edge of the lake with hands firmly planted in his pockets deep in thought. He was torn into telling Dumbledore about the raid as the Order could not have any control over as it would reveal Severus's cover. That and Colm Yaxley was obviously spying for his Death Eater family and has clearly seen Lily around the castle with Harry at some point – hopefully Colm had not found sufficient evidence to say for definite that the boy in the castle is indeed Harry Potter.

"Severus?" Lily's voice came worryingly from behind him "What's wrong?"

He turned around and saw her standing a few feet away wrapped in a long coat and scarf. The snow had started to gently fall again and he only just realised how cold he really was now she had snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Nothing" he uttered.

"Then why are you standing out here in the cold?" she looked anxious "You're freezing"

"I just wanted some air" he said feeling his hair become wet from the snow and increasingly becoming colder.

"You should get inside" she said taking a step forward "Maybe go and lie down or something"

Snape silently started to make his way towards the castle debating on his next move – go to Dumbledore and tell him everything? Go to Voldemort and spin some lies about Harry Potter's location? Obviously he could not speak to Lily about his worries.

"Severus" she stopped him going down into the dungeon with a gentle touch on his arm "You know you can talk to people if you need to – what you are doing is incredibly difficult and it is understandable that it will get to you"

_What would you know? _ He silently cursed himself for thinking such negative thoughts towards her. She had been through enough.

"Have you spoken with Black since last time?" he asked.

"I wrote him a letter" she admitted clearly not wanting to change the subject "Are you _sure_ you are ok?"

"I'm _fine"_ He tried to assure her "It's not for you to worry –"

"-yes it is!" she snapped "You are holding my child's life practically in your hands with what you are doing. I have every right to worry"

Droplets of water were hanging on the tips of Snape's hair now he had returned to the warmth of the castle and all he wanted to do was retreat back into the depths of the building to brood on his predicament. To tell someone or not…?

"I thought I made it quite clear" he began in low tone "My skills are far from inadequate…do not worry, I am fine"

"Ok then" she was still not convinced "Go dry and get yourself warm before you make yourself ill"

Snape watched her ascend the stair case and vanish form view before he too disappeared below the castle and into his chambers. Where he immediately lit a fire, cast a drying spell and sat at his desk running his long fingers over a bottle of fire whiskey aimlessly.

_If I tell Dumbledore he will set up a prevention force which would give my alliance away…if I don't and I don't get called all will be fine…there may be death eater children roaming around the castle but I would not dare move Lily now as it means I must return to Voldemort making me useless to the Order._

"Unless _I_ go now" Snape thought aloud then opened the bottle of whiskey and pouring himself a glass "Yes…return to Voldemort and remain there saying my position at Hogwarts is useless…that way I can keep an eye on that end and warn them should they suspect Harry Potter's whereabouts"

_Oh stop being so over dramatic…you do not need to leave and do not bother telling Dumbledore on the raid as you know nothing about any of the location of the raid and will not be able to tell Dumbledore in time to prevent it from happening. _

Snape then downed the glass of whiskey in annoyance. The liquid was soft as it ran down his throat and then started to burn mildly. He had one more before deciding that there was no point to his brooding session and that he should re-join Lily upstairs and enjoy the evening.

Yet Severus Snape did not even make it to the door of his chamber when his left forearm started to burn. He carefully unbuttoned his sleeve and examined his dark mark burning jet black into his skin…his master was beckoning him. He took a deep breath, produced his wand from his right sleeve and pressed firmly into his left forearm where he vanished from the grounds of Hogwarts.

A moment later he landed, quite smoothly on his feet, in a blustery and bitterly cold graveyard. Snow was falling and a group of Death Eaters, some in their masks some not, gathered nearby. Snape saw Yaxley standing with his hands tucked under his armpits for warmth. Luscious Malfoy was wrapping his coat around Narcissa while others were teetering on their feet to try and warm up. One man in particular caught Snape's eye, he was almost hiding behind a gravestone with matted patchy hair, his clothes were rotten and he too was fidgeting all over the place.

_Wormtail…_

Snape was holding back the urge to go and hex him into the next century as a couple more Death Eaters arrived. The evening sky turned dark as if night had suddenly fallen and in a cloud of smoke their master appeared. He was barefoot and only wearing simple black robes as he began to walk between his loyal followers.

"Good to see you all on such a festive occasion" Voldemort spoke in a high pitched hiss and even forced an ugly smile "It is that time of year where we gather around together like a family…most families do not do much on Christmas but we always tend to have some fun don't we?"

There were low cheers and clapping at that statement and their master continued.

They all waited patiently for their roles in the Christmas Raid. "Tonight we are going to reunite our whole family…bring back those who cannot share in our joyous occasion…all those incarcerated in Azkaban shall be broken on TONIGHT"

Everybody cheered at that notion except Wormtail and Snape to whom the Dark Lord noticed his lack of enthusiasm.

"My young apprentice" Voldemort glided over to Snape and cupped his cheek making Snape want to recoil at how cold his touch was "Why are you so sad – is Dumbledore giving you a hard time?"

That created some sniggering around the group.

"No my lord" Snape replied "I am merely unable to contain my excitement – there no words to describe what it would mean should all our fellow Death Eaters were returned to us tonight"

More cheers followed Snape's statement.

"Don't lie to me" Voldemort hissed causing Snape to flinch "It is all too clear what you are thinking"  
Snape's heart was racing, it was impossible he has sensed anything. "My lord?"

Voldemort laughed "I know fully well you would rather _Bellatrix_ remained behind bars"

A few other followers laughed at that comment, even Yaxley cracked a smirk.

"After what she did to you" Voldemort took a step back as if to admire Snape from head to toe "I do not blame your hatred…I'll see you re allowed 10 minutes with her bound to a chair for you to take out your vengeance – how does that sound?"

"She was only doing what she thought was right I do not blame her" Snape said quickly.

"It is not polite to refuse a gift Severus" Voldemort hissed.

"Thank you My Lord" Snape gave a small bow "10 minutes is more than I need"

"Excellent" Voldemort turned to the rest of his followers "Let's make a move shall we?"

They all flew to Azkaban in clouds of thick black smoke crashing into the walls of Azkaban yet Snape was doing his best, hidden under his Death Eaters garment, to jinx his fellow Death Eaters. He had Lucius fall down a flight of stairs and chased by a Dementor, he found Belatrix's cell and placed a silencing spell on it without her seeing him so her screams were unheard. While the Dementors were trying to round up as many Death Eaters Snape move away from the din of the fighting. He hurried, fully disguised in his mask and robes down a flight of stairs where his Patronas knocked back 2 Dementors. He had to be careful where he performed his Patronus for he was the only Death Eater able to conjure one and would show he was not truly dark as the others.

Snape scarped down the halls past several cells until he found the one he was looking for.

In the cell a skinny, long haired man that resembled Sirius Black ran at the bars manically. Even Snape backed away in fear Black might have been able to lash out and grab a hold of him.

"Go on then!" Black spat "Kill me!"

Snape pulled off his mask and pressed a finger to his lips to shut Black up "I can't break you out but I know Wormtail did it…_trust me_"

That was all Snape had time for and left Sirius in utter shock at what he had just witnessed. Snape on the other hand was pleased at how miserable the raid was going, many Death Eaters limped about where Snape had jinxed their legs without them knowing and any Death Eater cell he passed he placed a silencing charm over it rendering their scream for help useless.

"RETREAT!" bellowed Voldemort's voice and they all soared out the hole in the wall in thick smoke.

The raid had lasted a couple of hours and back at the graveyard Voldemort gave his open opinion on how terrible it had gone and sent them on their way. Except Severus and Wormtail, who seemed to like lingering by The Dark Lord very closely.

"Severus" Voldemort hissed "Tell me how matters are at Hogwarts"

"Uneventful I'm afraid My Lord" Snape said "The Potter child has been placed elsewhere for protection and only a Secret Keeper knows the location"

Snape was rather happy with his lie and was sure it could easily wane Voldemort's interest in Hogwarts and Lily.

"So the secret keep is obviously the mother" Voldemort's eyes flashed.

"That is not possible" Snape was lying aloud and keeping his demeanour calm "She knew you would think that so she gave Harry to someone else to look after…someone she trusted"

Voldemort was pondering "If the mother does not know the location of her own child…she has very little friends she trust anymore after Wormtail…"

Wormtail gave a soft squeak as he sat shivering on a grave stone.

"Then there is only one person" Voldemort's eyes locked into Severus's.

Snape's palms were sweating and he readied his wand under his sleeve "Yes My lord?"

"Obviously Dumbledore knows the location of the Potter boy." Voldemort gave a little laugh "And I bet a part of my soul the Longbottom child is with him"

Snape's heart rate returned to normal after that statement "That is a likely theory my Lord"

"I was planning on _visiting_ Hogwarts in the near future anyway." Voldemort admitted "Perhaps I will have a task for you before I arrive"

"A task?" Snape waited "What would you like me to do?"

"Nearer the time" Voldemort began "You will force the location out of Dumbledore, there are plenty of ways to do so…and then you will kill him"

Snape's could have dropped dead there and then "You want _me_, to kill him?"

"Are you not happy I have given you such a responsibility?"

"Ecstatic My Lord" Snape felt like he was about to vomit. "Now if you will excuse me"

"By all means" Voldemort smirked "The dead man walking will be wondering where you have gotten to at such an hour. Goodnight Severus"

Snape spun on the spot and marched from the graveyard unable to perform any magic to fly for his legs were near jelly. He even ignored the fact that Wormtail was right there and he could have easily have waited to see what the traitor was up to being a Death Eater all of a sudden. Except he did not care. All Snape wanted to do was to get back to Hogwarts in one piece and figure out his next move…there was no way he was capable of murdering Albus Dumbledore.

Snape returned to Hogwarts that night and found Dumbledore waiting for him in the Entrance Hall for news as he assumed Snape had been summoned. Dumbledore had come down to speak to find him earlier after Lily was worrying about his health.

Snape could barely look him in the eye due to the impossible task Voldemort had set him. However Snape explained the raid and how unsuccessful it had been to which Dumbledore gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder before sending him straight to bed – Not that Snape would get any sleep tonight.

Over the course of the week he pushed the events of Christmas to the back of his mind hoping it would fade. Voldemort had not pushed the task any further than speaking about it in the graveyard anyway which eased Snape's mind a little. However over the next month Snape was called away regularly to attend raids and report useless information to Voldemort about The Order. He also brewed Lupin's wolfsbane potion for him and had relatively nice talks with Lily when he had the chance. Quidditch started up again and he made an effort to support his team by going however he did it mainly to spend quality time with Lily.

That was when he knew how much Lily trusted him when she handed him Harry during the Quidditch match while she went and had a word with Professor Flitwick about something. It was rather awkward for Snape as he imagined James Potter fuming yet Harry seemed content in just watching the Quidditch players zoom overhead. Harry then dropped his Gryffindor scarf so Snape retrieved it and wrapped it back around him to find something sticking out of Harry's shirt, the protection pendant he had given him on a shorter chain around the boys neck. Snape could not help but smile before putting the scarf around the boy. McGonagall noticed his act of affection towards the boy and quickly returned to his regular stern expression and watched the game handing Harry back to Lily when she got back.

His dream of being with Lily in the Shrieking Shack returned often too but he still could not remember what exactly happened. It was more a memory than dream yet it came through in his slumber; he was alone, then she would come to him they would talk then it would go black and return to the abnormalities that appear in dreams.

Snape too had noticed Harry's confidence building; he was now walking with the aid of his mother's hand and was able to say the odd few words. His first word being Mum which Snape had been present for and was once again in the presence of Lily crying. He has also grown accustomed to holding Harry from time to time and Harry seemed to not mind Snape being around.

Yet not all was that great.

Snape had grown into a terrible habit of patrolling some of the corridors at night to keep himself useful, however, after he chased a third year that was out of bed he ran into a room he had never been in before. Not even at school but Snape assumed it used to be an old classroom as it was empty with the exception of a mirror, the Mirror of Erised.

He marched up to the mirror to check behind it for the rebellious student only to stop in is track upon seeing his reflection. He was not alone in the mirror yet when he spun around he was surely alone in the room.

A blurred woman formed behind him and he stepped closer causing the image to focus; he gasped as the woman morphed into Lily linking her arm with his. Snape placed his hand on his elbow where 'her hand' would be. He reached up with the arm she was not holding and touched the mirror. He had been kicking himself for months forcing himself to be happy with what he had but this was proof that he would never be able to do that. Not with everything that had happened, for with every raid that passed Voldemort was growing restless to get towards Hogwarts.

That was his routine; help Slughorn, spy for Dumbledore, spend time with Lily and waste away hours in front of The Mirror of Erised. He soon changed his ways though…

Lily often stayed out of the way during school hours, mainly spent them with Harry and occasionally help Flitwick out in class leaving Harry with Hagrid meaning it was hard for prying eyes to notice a woman had her baby hidden in Hogwarts. However, Snape, after a mind numbing session spent staring at the Mirror of Erised decided to speak to Lily only to find, upon reaching her room, Colm Yaxley attempting to peer in through the key hole.

Snape ran at him and grabbed the boy by the back of his robes "What are you playing at boy?"

"Get off me" he struggled "You're not a teacher here"

"I'm an _assistant _who can recommend detentions of the highest form to Professors" Snape dragged the boy away from Lily's door just in case she woke up "What are you doing here?"

"I can ask you the same" Colm snapped "Wait 'till my uncle hears about this"

"Hears about what?" Snape snapped "You're a peeping tom?"

"No that that's the woman he has been looking for" Colm looked rather proud of himself "Said he needed to speak to her for his work, she is a friend of Dumbledore so she might be at the school"

"You've got the wrong woman" Snape was ready to hex the boy, wipe his memories if he had to "What is your uncles job then?"

"I don't know, works for the Ministry"

Snape eyed the boy carefully, he was as innocent as Harry "Go back to your Common Room and tell your uncle he made a mistake. In fact tell him _Severus Snape _said he got it wrong, she's not here"

Snape's rationality came flooding back after that encounter; he was not going to disturb Lily now. It had been only a few months since James passed away. She would probably never get over his death, not really, and Snape was in no position to complicate anything for her now.

So he did the best thing he could think of; after sending the young Yaxley to his common room Snape marched to Dumbledore's office.

"Please Professor" Snape pleaded "Move her somewhere else, I don't feel like she is safe here, there are children here with families that are Death Eaters"

"Severus this is a very bold move" Dumbledore stated "Which children?"

"Well…there's Yaxley for a start who I caught just earlier out of bed and outside Lily's room"

"Hmm" Dumbledore looked at Snape over his half-moon spectacles "Where would you suggest? She does not trust anyone to be her Secret keeper any longer"

" I don't know" Snape hissed getting agitated for he did not want to tell Dumbledore about the impending task Voldemort had set him "I just have a terrible feeling Hogwarts will not be safe for very much longer…his numbers have increased in the last year to nearly double"

"Then I suggest you go and give Lord Voldemort a reason for not coming here" Dumbledore suggested rather calmly yet Snape sensed a flicker of disdain there.

"Yes Head Master" Snape said in deep thought "I understand what you want me to do"

"Be careful Severus" Dumbledore warned "Under no circumstances do you approach Wormtail either, that will certainly ruin your cover"

Snape had not seen Wormtail since the raid at Christmas and tried to bury that desire of seeing him burn alive for the past few months "Yes, Professor"

Snape slid a note under Lily's door that night before leaving the castle. In the morning she would read…

_Dear Lily,_

_I have left Hogwarts in fear that you and Harry may not be able to reside here for much longer. It seems there are many eyes within Hogwarts and I will find out who. It is likely I will not be back for some time so all I ask is that you keep safe, do not leave the castle not even to visit Sirius._

_S.S_

Snape then returned to Spinner's End that night, it was a cold dank end terrace house that he grew up in yet it was never his home. The air was dank and the rooms dusty from neglect form his time away from the house.

"Hello Severus"

Snape spun on his heels wand at the ready and saw a figure shift in the kitchen "Wormtail?"

The dumpy man with frizzy hair and buck teeth crept out of the darkness "Don't be mad Severus, I was sent here by The Dark Lord for safety…he knew you were away and it was empty…the Order won't find me here"

_I'll take that wager…_

"So The Dark Lord put it upon himself to have the likes of _you _living in my house" Snape sneered "What did I do to deserve this punishment?"

"It was just out of convenience really" Wormtail squeaked "You being at Hogwarts most of the time now"

"I don't care what is convenient to you, it is not convenient to me" Snape remarked "Besides I have returned from Hogwarts for a while…I have some work to do for The Dark Lord so you had better stay out of my way"

With that Wormtail retreated from the room with a whine leaving Snape to ponder about this miraculous opportunity here with Wormtail. He had no idea how long he planned to stay away from Hogwarts but was sure he would not be returning until Wormtail received an overdue payment for his betrayal of the Potter's and that Lord Voldemort was convinced that Dumbledore had no idea where the prophesised boys were.

Lily woke the next morning and gently woke Harry from his crib. The morning sun was pouring into the room where the birds were chirping outside and Lily suddenly had a sense that something was wrong. She scanned the room and found what was troubling her.

A single roll of parchment lay on the floor by her bedroom door. She picked it up and recognised Severus's handwriting right away. She must have read it twenty times over before going to Dumbledore for an explanation.

"He can't just leave" she snapped at the Headmaster "He can't put his life on the line everyday it is bad enough he is spying but at least if he is in the castle he is safe"

Dumbledore was sat at his desk with his hand linked on front of him "I am aware of his actions and reasoning and frankly I agree with it all"

"So he is going back to the Death Eaters then?" Lily was fuming "He is just going back, no goodbyes and will one day return with bags of information unless he is killed or arrested because, let's face it, what are the odds?"

"In this current climate it is more likely that he will do the former" Dumbledore replied camly "I have my utmost faith in Severus and he feels he is more use outside this castle. Severus can look after himself and will be able to have some control of the Death Eaters activities…he can stop any children being used as spies…he can prevent and warn us of any attacks around the country"

"He's a fool" she said slumping down in a nearby chair like a stroppy child.

"I had no idea you two had reconciled your friendship so quickly" Dumbledore smirked and noticed she did not want to reply to that "You both clearly care about each other…however his actions are out of my hands he is a grown man and must do what he thinks is right"

"Did he ever tell you things about You-Know-Who?" she asked "Not official business, I mean confiding in you?"

"No he did not confide in me his feelings about anything" Dumbledore said sternly "Do you think he ought to have?"

"I am just worried if he is not _murdered_ he will end up going insane with what is expected of him"

"Severus is a grown man" Dumbledore repeated "If he felt that he must go I was never going to stop him… He will attend raids, gather information for The Order and most of all he will _protect_ you"

Lily snapped out of her stroppy school girl phase and looked up at the headmaster who was staring at a blank spot on his desk above his half-moon spectacles. Now all she wished for was a chance to say goodbye and to thank him for what he was doing at the very least.

Who knew when he would return…?

**Emotions are running high now - please review :) I love to know what you all think as I know there are lot of readers now and thank you to those who have reviewed already - really appreciate it :D I will update soon **


	6. Snakes In The Woods

Chapter 6 – Snakes in the woods.

Lily Potter levitated all the text books, which the students had left behind in Flitwick's classroom, to the nearby store cupboard. The Charms Professor had been taken ill with a stomach sickness and allowed Lily to teach the first years lesson today which she appreciated greatly. Remus had stopped by that morning and took Harry out around the grounds which allowed Lily some peace and quiet to do her own thing.

However as there were now no more lessons for her teach for the day she had an entirely free afternoon. Dumbledore had not scheduled any Order meetings and as far as she was aware all was well.

It had been just over a month since Severus had left to re-join The Death Eaters and Dumbledore only gave little bits of information on his work with them. When she tried to pry The Headmaster became very protective stating that what Severus is doing is not how he wishes to be seen.

This left Lily to force any concerns for her dear friend to the back of her mind for now. She decided to take a little stroll around the grounds as the sun was hanging low in the sky over the lake. Birds soared overhead and she even spotted a thestral flying over the forbidden forest. This too reminded her of Severus… How he always saw the beauty in things others did not. To her they were creatures of bad luck and a reminder of death; to him they were misunderstood and powerful.

"Mum!"

Lily spun around at her little boy calling out her name. She watched as Remus was carrying Harry who was now beaming at her as they both approached. Remus then carefully passed Harry over.

"He spotted you all the way over by the Quidditch pitch" Remus smiled then ruffled Harry's hair "Just like James"

"Did you behave for Remus?" ask jokingly and Harry buried his head in the crook of her neck "Thank you for watching him"

"It was my pleasure" he said "I am afraid I will not be able to watch him for a few days owing to it being the end of the month"

"What about your potion?" Lily asked.

"All used up" Remus sighed "Severus was generous with his portions but obviously did not know how long he would be away"

"I do worry about him you know" she said as they started to walk back to the castle.

"I'm sure he is fine" Remus replied "Dumbledore would have said something if not"

They all went and ate dinner together before ascending the castle to her room where Lily tried to bid him goodbye at the door. "Thanks again Remus"

"I can stay a little longer if you wish?" he replied.

"It's ok" she sighed feeling tired.

"Only if you are sure" he raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you" she shut the door on him and lent against it with a heavy sigh. She loved Remus for all that he did but recently he was starting to irritate her as he constantly would turn up and try and help.

She watched Harry playing with a teddy bear on the floor and saw how much he resembled his father with his messy black hair. On the bedside table was the protection pendant Severus had given him and Lily could not help but wonder what life would be like if James was still here – Would they have gotten on after all this time? She doubted it but the thought was still nice.

She readied Harry for bed by bathing him and getting him dressed in some pyjamas. She then placed him in his crib and read a story from Beadle The Bard where Harry eventually drifted off into a deep sleep. She watched her little boy for a while as his tiny chest slowly rise and sank as he peacefully dreamed while all wrapped up in his blankets. She wished she could feel that calm and relaxed these days as even though she was at Hogwarts she had this dark notion that Severus may slip up and give Harry's location away.

Lily too eventually started to feel tired and got ready for bed. She climbed under the covers and turned out the bedside lamp and tried to get some sleep. This was the first time in a long while that she had been able to go to bed early, normally she and Remus would end up talking about their worries or the current situation with in The Order. However since Severus left all was quiet on the battlefield.

_That night she dreamt she was back at school with James. Sirius and Remus were there too…although she was beyond happy just being here something was very wrong…she just knew something was wrong with Severus…she looked straight to the Womping Willow…the secret path she now knew led to the Shrieking Shack…James grabbed her hand to stop her from going over there and despite really wanting to see if Severus was inside the shack, she stayed…the dream then shifted to night and she was still with James , Sirius and Remus however the night sky was illuminated with a hundred Dark Marks and standing at the top of a hill by the lake stood Severus…his wand shooting out green and creating the snakes and skulls in the sky…she tried to shout at him to stop but no words came out so she ran at him only for him to morph in Lord Voldemort…_

_"Careful who you trust…." The Dark Lord hissed stroking the side of her face._

Lily woke up with jolt, she was sweating and her heart raced at that nightmare. She looked to Harry who was fast asleep in his crib so she tried to relax and lay back down. Her head hit the pillow and for some unknown reason it caused a creaking sound. At first she thought she must have jolted a floorboard beneath the bed however as she remained still she heard it again…someone was in her room.

Her arm shot out for her wand on the bedside cabinet only for her wrist to be grasped by an invisible force. An invisibility cloak was then dumped on the floor revealing a tall well-built Death Eater.

"_Petrificus Totalus" _The masked Death Eater spat causing her entire body to freeze.

The Death Eater then held the spell on her and backed up to the crib. Inside Lily was screaming in a deep panic as this vile creature gently lifted Harry out of his bed. As Harry began to whimper the Death Eater gently cooed him until he stopped crying which made Lily's insides churn with hatred.

"'Av a good nigh'" The Death Eater laughed in a low tone and backed out of the room clutching Harry in his arms.

Lily struggled against the magic that bound her until even through the magic she was sweating, she needed to alert someone, anyone, for the death Eater had snuck onto sight undetected and would surely do the same thing to get out.

"Harry!" she screamed so loud and used all her might to break free from the spell that held her frozen. She then leapt from her bed barefoot, grabbed her wand and ran as fast as she could sending out Patronases in all directions to alert Aurors around the castle. She ran in the direction she swore the Death Eater went and too could hear hurried footfalls down the moving staircases.

Looking over the balcony she saw the dark figure running down the flights of stairs holding Harry to him.

"Harry!" she screamed and carried on running after him. She wanted to throw hexes at the Death Eater but did not dare risk it for he was holding her child in his arms.

The Death Eater had reached the Entrance Hall and sent two stunning spells into the Great Hall hitting two Aurors that were stationed there before bolting out of the Main doors and into the grounds.

Lily did not care that she was barefoot, she kept on running through the sodden grounds as the Death Eater aimed for the forbidden forest. Lily screamed and begged for the man to stop but it was useless as they neared the forest.

Behind her Dumbledore and a couple of Aurors had arrived and too were running after the kidnapper.

Branches and twigs whipped Lily's face and her feet were sore as ran through the forbidden forest barely able to keep up with the Death Eater. Her foot got caught on a root tripping her up. She landed heavily on her side but forced herself right back up to carry on the chase only to collide with a body that emerged from the darkness.

It was a Death Eater, not the kidnapper for the mask was different but he was just as tall. Lily held her wand up in defence ready to hex him when the man pulled off the mask.

"You?" she gasped in disbelief "What are you..?"

Severus Snape stood before her. He looked exactly how she remembered f not looking better and healthier.

"I trusted you" she spat.

"Lily _trust_ me" he growled "What way did he go?"

"Straight into the woods" her breathing was erratic "What is going on?"

"We don't have time" Snape said running into the woods with Lily shortly behind him. "Lily, go back – I will handle this!"

"That's my son!" she screamed refusing to give up.

Lily however was struggling to keep up having not got anything on her feet, her pace slowed while Severus sprinted off through the darkness of the forest. She carried on at a slower pace until fierce hands grasped her shoulders and she was now face to face with a panic stricken Remus who looked terrible. His eyes were sunken and skin sallow. Lily then remembered it was nearing the start of the cycle where he would soon transform in a couple of days' time.

"What happened?" he gasped.

"Death Eaters" Lily was shaking "They went that way, Severus is with them!"

"What do you mean he is with them?" Remus's eyes were wide.

"I'm not sure, I think he is trying to get Harry back" Lily said Iit was just him and one other"

"You _think?" _ Remus then ran off into the woods followed by two Aurors.

Dumbledore and McGonagall too were searching out in the woods for the Death Eaters. Wands held high using locator spells. It was a full force search and Lily did not care as she hurried through woods alone to find her son.

Severus Snape was running as fast as his body would allow him. Branches brushed past him and he leapt over roots and fallen logs to avoided getting his leg caught. Nearby he could hear noises of The Order in full force searching for Harry but time was running out.

Yes the school had protection around the perimeter but the forbidden forest was always seen as part of the protection as nobody dared ventured too far into it. However this Death Eater that had kidnapped Harry had done so on his own accord and in doing so would not only mean the death of the boy but of everything they had been fighting for. Snape himself had apparated just outside the grounds on the Hogsmeade side only to run full force towards The Death Eater the moment he discovered the plan (after torturing the information out of Wormtail). This Death Eater however must have scouted out the perfect location close enough to the school perimeter inside the forbidden forest in order to sneak in undetected.

Now here Snape was running like a mad man dressed in his full Death Eater garb to try and catch the rouge brethren of his. He did not care what happened to him, _the boy must live._

That is when he heard it…A faint cry, a whimper just not too far away.

Snape raised his wand and stepped forward, his foot crunched a fallen twig and he was suddenly blasted off his feet and into a nearby tree. Snape's head was pounding and his eyes unfocussed as he tried to figure out who had attacked him, a moment later a dark figure emerged beneath an invisibility cloak holding Harry with one arm.

"Well well well" came the voice of Macnair, a loyal death Eater Snape had come across several times in the last month at various meeting.

"Macnair" Snape grunted "Stop"

"I have been to a thousand places" he coughed out of tiredness of running "I have never met such a snake as you"

Macnair removed his mask revealing a taunt and unshaven face. He was taller than Snape and much broader.

"What are you trying to prove?" Snape got to his feet "Let me assist you"

"Why?" Macnair spat "So you can run along and tell The Dark Lord you had not made a mistake in leaving Hogwarts for the boy is currently residing there…or is it…?"

"Let's get out of here" Snape said "Pass me the boy"

"No" Macnair grunted clutching Harry tighter "We only have to go a little further then I can apparate…no what I was going to say was…you wanted the glory of finding him yourself…or did you already know he was here?"

"Don't be a fool" Snape warned "Give me the boy"

"There have been whispers Snape" Macnair gave a nervous laugh "That you cannot be trusted"

"The Dark Lord thinks differently" Snape said "Do you not trust him?"

"Of course I don't" Macnair snapped "He's the darkness wizard of all time – of course he cannot be trusted…he'd kill one of us without a second thought and would expect us to be _honoured"_

"You've made mistakes haven't you?" Snape took a careful step closer, he could not believe how wise Macnair sounded with his last statement "He is angry at you and this is your way of making amends…let's do this together, prove that we both worship him"

Snape eyed Harry intently as the little boy struggled in the Death Eater's grasp and whimpered "No, off!"

"Shh" Macnair tried to calm Harry down "Let's move out then"

"Let me carry him" Snape said "Please, you've got a better aim than I do since you knocked me into that tree"

Snape's heart was racing as Macnair slowly but reluctantly turned Harry around in his grasp and went to hand him over. However upon seeing Snape Harry began to kick and flail "Seb! ,,off, no"

"Seb?" Macnair clutched Harry tighter and took a step back "He knows you…how is that possible?"

"He was just making noises he's just baby for goodness sake" Snape said looking around impatiently "Just pass him here"

"Seb!" Harry tried to push away from Macnair to get to Snape.

Macnair took a step back anxiously staring Snape down and hissed "_Traitor"_

Before Snape could think of a spell that would not harm Harry Macnair was already running. He bolted after the pair as quickly as he could and had to avoid bolts of green light that shot his way from Macnair's wand.

Snape ducked, dodged and dove to the ground at one point to escape being hit by the various curses flying his way. Snape then managed to shot several Macnair's way and weighed up the odds of hitting Harry to actually stopping Macnair from apparating.

He sent a jelly legs curse towards Macnair and missed. Snape cursed loudly and carried on running before sending another this time hitting the man who still tried to run however this caused him to run askew.

Finally Snape caught up and sent a confundus charm soaring straight into Macnair's back forcing the man to stop and look around in utter confusion.

"_Expelliarmus…_Lost your way Macnair?" Snape sneered grabbing the man by the front of his robes with one hand and carefully lifting Harry away with the other. Harry clung to Snape's robes shaking in fear. Snape then shoved Macnair into a nearby tree knocking him to the ground where he stared up blearily at Snape and Harry. "This ought to hold your tongue"

Macnair coughed "You won't get away with this"

Snape smirked "…_Obliviate"_

"I'm going to kill Snape!" Mad Eye Moody boomed as they searched through the forbidden forest "No, I will rip him limb from limb - then kill him!"

"Alistor!" McGonagall screeched "Talking like this is not helping!"

"I believe you are mistaken Alistor" Dumbledore said searching the woods.

"No it is you that has clearly made a mistake Dumbledore" Mad Eye retorted "The man was spotted at the scene of the crime"

"It is still not helping" McGonagall snapped angrily at the man.

Meanwhile deeper into the woods Remus was holding Lily up as she trudged (now wearing Remus's shoes)further through he thicket.

"We must keep going" Lily said.

"I know" Remus tried to comfort her "Are you sure about Sever-"

"-yes I saw him" she pushed Remus off "I don't know what he was doing here but all I can hope for was that he is trying to help"

"Yes, let's _hope_ that is the case "Remus said unconvinced "Does not mean we are, perhaps, wishing thinking"

"Remus-"she tried to warn him to keep his mouth shut but he cut her off.

"-Lily…he is a very clever man…extraordinary at Occulmency…able to deceive the darkest wizard alive" Remus sighed "It's possible he is involved –"

"-I won't believe it!" Lily then marched off into the darkness screaming Harry's name.

Her and Remus did not speak to one and other after that but instead tried calling out to Harry and using as many locator spells as possible. Lily was running on unknown energy she thought she would never have. Her hold world was crumbling around her once more but unless she knew where her son was she would carry on.

"I'm going this way you go that way" Lily said to Remus who looked unsure "What? Do you want your shoes back or can you manage?"

"I'm fine in barefoot and you know it" he said through gritted teeth as he had often had to walk about in barefoot after a change. "Fine, I'll take this route; don't go too far there are other monsters in these woods other than Death Eaters"

Lily ignored his last words and carried on through the thicket; a great roar from an unknown beast echoed through the trees and she thought of her poor baby terrified in the darkness with that Death Eater. Yet she carried on and would carry on till it killed her.

She stopped and tried to listen for any signs but all she heard was the wind rustling through the trees and the faint shouts from Order members. She nearly jumped out of her skin as Hagrid came tearing through the woods with his dogs; he did not even take any notice of her for he was so focussed in searching for Harry.

A strange rumbling in her throat brought to lean against a tree. Her hands were shaking and she thought she was about to vomit…shock was starting to set in.

Calming her nerves was an impossible task as she stood there in the dark begging to some unknown force to help bring her son back safely.

Nearby rustling in the tree caught her attention and she assumed it was one of the Order members or perhaps Hagrid returning. They had been searching for a while now and no sign of the Death Eater, Harry or Snape had been found.

Yet the rustling was growing nearer so she raised her wand in its direction and prepared for some ghastly beast of the forest to emerge.

A tall dark figure, slightly hunched over with limp came through the bushes. She would have thought it was Made Eye if it had not been thinner and taller.

"Lumos" she whispered and illuminated the area and the tears started to fall at what she bared witness too…

Standing before Lily was the beaten up form of Severus Snape dressed in his Death Eater uniform and carrying her son safely back to her. Snape saw she was frozen in shock and approached her.

"He's alright" Snape whispered trying to look into her eyes that were just staring in awe at Harry as he handed him to her "I saw Hagrid and he is holding the man responsible until Dementors come"

She was hugging Harry tightly and kissing his hair ignoring every word Snape had said but that did not matter for he was happy the boy survived "Thank you so much"

She brought her hand up and stroked the side of Snape face where he replied "Anytime"

"We'd better head back" Lily said and Snape took her by the arm and led her back to the edge of the forest where Hagrid had rounded up Macnair before Dumbledore and the rest of The Order just off by the lake. They both were concealed under the shadows of the trees away from the others.

"This is where I leave you" Snape producing his mask out of smoke into his palm "I must return to my house before Wormtail wakes up…I had to knock him out after I found out that he knew about Macnair"

"Once again you have saved my sons life" Lily said "Whatever happens Severus, no matter what I will _always_ be there…especially when it comes to the Order – I will not have any of them think foully of you"

"You're too kind" Snape swallowed the knot in is throat and looked to Harry who was resting his head on his mothers shoulder but had his beady green eyes gazing up at Snape "I had sent a Patronas warning Dumbledore however I feared I was too late and made the journey here myself"

"You should talk to him" Lily said "At least let him know you are doing ok"

As if he had heard them Albus Dumbledore started to make his way to the couple at the edge of the forest.

"Good evening Headmaster" Snape greeted him "Sorry for the disturbance"

Dumbledore smiled at Lily and Harry "You two go to the hospital wing…you've had an eventful night"

"Goodnight Severus" she gave him a tearful smile and trudged back to the castle. Harry looked over her shoulder at Snape and Dumbledore as he left.

"Well done Severus" Dumbledore smiled "I cannot tell you how confused I was when two does came flying into my office and boomed both yours and Lily voices – I managed to work out what was going on though"

"It is manic out there Headmaster" Snape stated "He is rounding up all sorts of beings and creatures to join his cause…he is obsessed with finding the prophesised boys and I fear it is only a matter of time before he decides he wants to _play up"_

"You truly think he will come here without a set purpose?" Dumbledore asked "He must have a reason to attack this castle, and if he thinks Harry is elsewhere then what is it?"

"I'm not sure" Snape lied knowing full well Voldemort wanted Dumbledore dead at his doing. "I found out after I read into Wormtail's thoughts…I then tortured him until he told me"

"Very well" Dumbledore patted Snape on the shoulder "But before you go I will ask…is there something you wish to tell me?"

Snape took a deep breathe, debated on telling him about his little'task', and replied "Get better security on the forest"

Dumbledore looked disappointed at that answer "It shall be done"

"Goodnight Headmaster" Snape said knowing he had to get back to house before Wormtail awoke.

Dumbledore watched as Snape placed his mask back on and soared in a cloud of thick black smoke up and away from the castle. He was aware that Severus was hiding something but ensured himself he will be told in due time when Severus feels it is right to share the information about Voldemort.

Back in the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey was fussing over Harry who was in fact fine, just a little shaken. Lily was sat on the bed clearly not speaking to Remus who stood by the window gazing out (and mostly likely witnessing Severus Snape fly using dark magic).

Mad Eye too looked guilty as she gnawed on his bottom lip in deep thought and quite rightly so for Lily had been right about Severus all along. They needed to trust him.

"Dumbledore" Mad Eye greeted him "The Death Eater has been carted off to Azkaban however as his memories have been wiped completely clean it is likely he will end up St Mungos"

"That's fine by me" Dumbledore said then went to check on Lily who now was lying down and exhausted. He thought it best to leave her at that then. "Alistor, we are in serious need of a security update"

"Well I would have a ward placed around the school which were incinerate anyone who bares the Dark Mark…"Mad Eye then turned his back to Dumbledore and gazed out of the window "But of course _Snape_ is here"

"I will not have a single bad word said against Severus is that understood" Dumbledore said "If tonight is not proof enough of his reformation then I have no idea what will convince you"

Lily had dozed off into a deep sleep after the nights events while Remus stayed in the hospital wing her despite her telling him she was fine. He stayed and watched over her and Harry ignoring her request and Madam Pomfrey's to leave for one he could not sleep due to his restlessness from the nearing the full moon. Secondly he had nowhere else to go…

Snape had flown to a clearing just past Hogsmeade before apparating to his house in Spinner's End. He immediately changed his into his regular robes using a simple spell the very moment he stepped into his house. Inside the lounge he found the stirring lump that was Wormtail upon the floor.

Snape approached his injured house guest and rolled him onto his back using his boot "Hello Wormtail"

"S-snape?" Wormtail had dry blood upon his nose and chin "W-what are you d-doing?"

Snape had his wand pointed at the man's face "_Obliviate_…there that will stop you traitorous tongue from talking"

Snape then took a mental note of how many Death Eaters had been imprisoned in the past few months: There was Bellatrix and Rodolphus LeStrange, Barty Crouch Jr and now Macnair plus whoever was already inside Azkaban. Hopefully Snape would be able to get a few more inside in the coming months before his cover is blown.

Wormtail stirred on the floor and woke up extremely dazed "What happened?"

"You fell ovder" Snape said turning his back on the man and marching into the back garden for some air.

CRACK

Snape felt someone apparate behind him in the still of night by his own back door "Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to apparate into someone's property uninvited…Narcissa"

"I came to warn you" Narcissa Malfoy stated.

Snape turned around "Warn me about what?"

"There are lots of talk amongst the group" she said "Even my husband…about your loyalty"

"Their evidence?" Snape asked.

"Just talk…how you have only been giving information that while although it is true…not very useful to the cause" she said "Macnair was caught tonight…apparently he had planned to spy on the school and prove whether Harry Potter was residing there"

"And he ended up getting caught" Snape scoffed "How clever of him and I'm very certain he did not find the boy"

"We don't know" Narcissa said "Yaxley was finishing work at the ministry when he caught Macnair being taking to hospital…his memory is all over the place – he can't even remember his own name"

"How unfortunate" Snape tried to not sound too sarcastic.

"I know you are true to the cause Severus" Narcissa said "However your negative attitude towards fellow Death Eaters is going to be your downfall – mark my words"

"Do you trust me Narcissa?" he asked genuinely curious.

"I do" Narcissa nodded "My husband however does not"

"Well, thank you for warning me" Snape said "I will have to watch my back from now on then won't I?"

"I wish I could have come baring better news" she said "I have one more thing to say"

"Go on"

"I have a message from The Dark Lord himself" she looked worried "He was at our home this evening putting a plan together…a plan that involves you"

"Does this plan by any chance revolve around me murdering Albus Dumbledore?" Snape asked "I am aware of this plan"

"Well now it is being put into motion" Narcissa confirmed "It won't be long before Hogwarts is ours"

"Ours?" Snape scoffed "_His_, you mean"

"Yes" she was clearly saddened by this notion "Well, that is all I have to say"

"Thank you" he said.

CRACK – she was gone.

Snape stood beneath the moonlight as it was nearly at the full moon stage. He unbuttoned his sleeve and stared at his bold and black Dark Mark – proof of how strong his master really was. It looked just as it did the day he had it branded. It also marked that he was unsure of when he would return to Hogwarts, it was clear that while Harry Potter resided there he could not be seen in the castle with him.

The best Severus Snape could do was play his part in the dark side and hope that one day he would re-join the lighter. Where he was sure he belonged and hopefully not alone like he was now…

**So this is quite an episodic chapter but all very necessary – you'll see ;) please review the story I really want to know what you are all thinking, what do you like, what do you not like – anything I can improve – thank you to those who have reviewed it means a lot :) I can't wait to upload the next chapter :D**


	7. The Lighthouse In The Dark

Chapter 7 – The Lighthouse In The Dark

Severus Snape sat alone on the end of his bed with his head in his hands. It was near on pitch black except for the moon that illuminated a patch of wooden floor boards nearby where the rain smashed against the window pane. Beside him sat a letter addressed to Albus Dumbledore with various updates on his work this side of the fence and a request to meet soon.

It was the 4 in the morning and the April rain showers kept him awake most nights so he had barely slept and was due to work all day today. So after a moment he slowly forced his body from the creaky bed where he slipped in his dragon hide boots and zipped them up before taking the letter and rudely waking up a scruffy looking owl in the corner of the room. Snape had purchased this pathetic creature upon moving back to Spinner's End so that he may send post back to Hogwarts but he never had any in return…

He placed the letter in a leather pouch to protect it from the rain before tying it to the owl. Snape then set it free through the window and out into the morning rain. He watched the tiny creature soar into the sky and away from him before stretching his arms above his head and twisting his neck side to side in an attempt to fully wake up.

After fully dressing into his Death Eater robes his marched heavily down the stairs and into the lounge where he instinctively kicked the mass that was Wormtail asleep in the floor. The disgusting rodent like man squealed and sat upright in fright as Snape marched off into the back garden.

"Now Wormtail" Snape barked "You are not making me late"

His job for the past few weeks had been to remain at various locations around Britain in search for the Longbottom child. His life had returned to how it was before going back to Hogwarts except he was now always paired up with Wormtail. The only reason Severus Snape had not drunk himself in a stupor at his life right now was due to not having any free time to do so…

Today he and Wormtail were positioned in Plymouth just outside a small muggle village – perfect to identify any witch or wizard hidden in the community with simple detecting charms. Their apparition spot was situated on a hill overlooking the village however upon arrival Snape and Wormtail had a little shock at finding their master waiting for them instead of two Death Eaters they were meant to release from their duties.

"My Lord" Snape gave a small bow and waited to see why Voldemort was there instead of other Death Eaters.

"Ah Severus" Voldemort hissed "Wormtail, good to see you…I am here to tell you that this new location is highly tipped to be a possible location of the Longbottom child"

"How so?" Snape asked and then quickly added "My Lord"

"Let's just say it took some research into his family history" Voldemort said "Someone in the ministry connected to the family had their memories invaded"

"And he gave specific evidence that this was a location?" Snape asked.

"Are you questioning me?" Voldemort retorted.

"No My Lord" Snape replied and gave another small bow.

"Since the many failed attempts in find Harry Potter" Voldemort began "I am focussing on the other boy, no point in hounding a mother that would clearly die for her son, right Severus?"

Snape merely nodded not wanting to sound too pleased with that last statement.

"I am also here to warn each and everyone one of you" Voldemort continued "Due to the recent high numbers of followers going to prison or St Mungoes...the next one who messes up will have a dinner date with Nagini…is that understood?"

"Yes my lord" Snape and Wormtail agreed in unison.

"Now I shall leave you both to it" Voldemort stepped away "I have more death Eaters to recruit…"

Snape watched his master vanish into thin air before turning to Wormtail "Right Wormtail seeing as you are of little help to me I suggest you go and find a quite spot to watch over the village for any suspicious activity while I sent up the detection charms."

Wormtail nodded glumly and sulked off to find a space to observe. Snape then began muttering incantations to set up the detection spell, normally he would not bother but just in case Voldemort decided to invade his mind he would need some evidence to show he was doing his job correctly. As Snape passed by Wormtail the rodent tried to speak to him.

"Severus are you sure there is nothing I –"

"No" Snape continued setting up the charms.

"We're meant to be partners" Wormtail stood up angrily.

Snape then finished his last incantation before rounding on Wormtail fiercely "I don't favour the idea of a cowardly rodent as my _partner._ Anyone else but you would do""

Wormtail took a step back with a slight squeak "What did I ever do to you?"

"Do not make me answer that" Snape said through gritted teeth "If you have not noticed all of The Dark Lords closest followers, the ones he chooses for tasks such as this, are here out of choice…you are here because you're a coward. You turned your friends over to die in order to save yourself and sent one to prison – I think that is sufficient evidence to not want you as a partner, don't you?"

"B-but I –"

"_Don't_-talk-to-me" Snape's eyes bore into Wormtail's threateningly and the rodent man backed away to take his place back on the hill as a look out. "It is bad enough I am forced to share my house with you and now I must spend my days working with your hideous demeanour"

That silenced Wormtail who then backed away fully to work away from Severus…

Snape was leaning against a nearby tree going numb with boredom for he had been standing there for a few hours now. The sun had risen and the villagers had begun their daily routine. He switched his gaze from the tiny village below to Wormtail who had remained fixed to the floor looking out too. Snape had to force the urge to kill him there and then to the back of his mind and tried to turn his attention to happier thoughts, of times back at the castle and constantly remind himself why he was here and not there. He thought of the day he would return when all of this would end, where he could start a normal life and start being happy for a change.

It had been nearly a month since Macnair had tried to kidnap Harry and as each day went by it was not getting easier. He had to work extra hard to keep his guard up around The Dark Lord as well as staying in line around fellow Death Eaters for he knew some did not trust him –

-Snape then suddenly had a strange sensation in his hands and it took him a moment to realise that it was the magic from the detector charms he had placed in the surrounding area. He quickly turned to Wormtail who was obviously unaware of the situation as Snape set up the charms; Snape often wondered if The Dark Lord kept him around to keep an eye on himself.

"Wormtail you are no use to me here" Snape snapped "I have this covered. Go back to the house and tidy up the filth in the lounge you left out last night"

"I am meant to remain here" Wormtail said "The Dark Lord requested it"

"And I _request_ that you take your sorry excuse back to Cokeworth and do as I say" Snape snarled impatiently for the sensation was beginning to burn his hands. "_Now!"_

Wormtail whimpered and staggered backwards before apparating away. Almost at once Snape sent out a warning Patronus to Dumbledore for his shift was soon over. This meant when other Death Eaters took their turn at lookout they would obviously find the boy (if it was him) or some unsuspecting poor witch or wizard to attack. However due to the evidence that someone had their memories invaded in order to suspect this town in the first place Snape had a high suspicion that the Longbottom child may have actually been moved here.

Within seconds Snape witnessed two Aurors soar through the air in a stream of white mist and plummet into the heart of the village. After a moment the detection charm had faded away and Severus Snape found himself face to face with Mad Eye Moody as he appeared before him in a flash of white.

"Snape" he greeted him monotonously "The Order sends their thanks and Dumbledore wants to meet you _tonight_. Midnight at the disused lighthouse not far from here"

Snape did not even have a chance to agree before Mad Eye apparated away. Snape then looked to his watch and saw his shift would soon be over meaning two other Death Eaters should arrive soon to replace him. Obviously he was not about to abandon his post so he waited yet they arrived early and with the most anxious of faces on them.

The two unknown Death Eaters than grabbed Severus Snape tight and apparated with him away. Seconds later Snape found himself thrown to the hard floor of the Malfoy Manor before several Death Eaters including Wormtail and The Dark Lord himself.

"Thank you boys" Voldemort hissed "You did well on your first task – you may leave"

The two new Death eaters that had snatched Snape away then left the room. Snape's heart was racing – this was it – he had been found out.

"You have disappointed me Severus " Voldemort hissed and stepped closer to him where Snape was frozen out of fear at his masters feet "Tell me _why?"_

"Why?" Snape muttered.

_"Crucio"_

Snape writhed in pain as the cruciatus curse struck him.

"Yes" Voldemort snapped releasing Snape from the curse "Why did you take it upon yourself to dismiss Wormtail?!"

Snape took a moment to gather his breath and relaxed thanking the thin air that he was being punished for that rather than been found out.

"Are you smiling Severus?" Voldemort pulled Snape to his feet with an invisible force "answer me questions!"

"I'm sorry my lord" Snape held away his smirk "Wormtail was of no use to me…I should not have done it"

Snape had never seen The Dark Lord so angry with him over something so petty. His snake like features was twisted into an ugly meaning façade. "You have upset me too many times Severus…however you are so valuable….it does not matter – you do not disobey me!"

Snape felt a hard force slam into his chest and throw him backwards into the far before the searing pain began. He was sure he was about to be Nagini's first dinner guest.

Narcissa Malfoy was in attendance, for once her husband was watching over Draco, and she could not watch on as the young Death Eater was taking a punishing. She winced when he hit the back wall and held in a gasp as The Dark Lord approached his quivering form on the floor.

She had no idea what curses were being sent through Severus as he used silent spells but from behind The Dark Lord she caught glimpses of his boots twitching and the faint grunts slip from his mouth. Narcissa was sure Severus would have been spared this beating if fellow Death Eaters had not recently slipped up; he was just using Severus as an example considering that he was aware that many thought The Dark Lord favoured him above the others.

She knew there was definitely more to Severus than the loyal servant he claimed to be. But she would not dare to pry for she admired his courage and as her and her husband got deeper into this war she needed as many friends as she could get. If her husband failed to see that, despite going to school with Severus, then she would have to keep that bridge built for the sake of her family.

_Snape was certain he had been knocked unconscious and these dreams were a result of that…he was back at school with Lily sitting by the lake…just talking. She was smiling and laughing but all her words were inaudible…they were not in uniform so perhaps he was dreaming more of recent times…he could not keep coherent thoughts though as the world kept spinning… Lily took his hand reassuringly and nodded…he tried calling her name to talk to her but it was if she was not listening…he squeezed her hand harder but it was as if she could not feel him…_

"Severus…Severus wake up…wake up!"

Severus Snape woke staring up a high ceiling from a comfortable double bed…he tried to recall past events and barely remembered why Voldemort attacked him in the first place. He then tried to sit only to feel the full force of a migraine wash over him. He was gripping something tight in one of his hands and that is when he realised he was not alone. In craning his neck forward he saw Narcissa Malfoy sitting on the edge of the bed looking at him terrified – he was gripping her hand.

He stared intently and pulled his hand away from her…he tried to read her and a flash of memory stirred before him. She had seen him writhing in his sleep and tried to calm him down only to hear him calling out a name…Lily's name…

Snape's eyes went wide – would she tell? His instinct then was to obliviate her but he tried to read into her again and although she gave an anxious look, he was safe.

"What happened?" Snape asked bringing his hand to his forehead that was pounding.

"What do you think happened?" she stood up passing him a glass of water "The Dark Lord turned you into a pulp and I picked up the pieces"

"Thank you" he said sitting up and taking a sip of water "How long was out for?"  
"A while" She looked to the clock "it's nearly 10 o clock in the evening"

Snape nodded and swung his legs from the bed and fully observed the room. He was clearly in some guest room about her house as it the place was rather bare with only the double bed and side tables in it. Snape then staggered to his feet ignoring his headache before attempting to walk away.

"Severus" Narcissa spoke quietly "Be careful"

"I'm always careful" Snape said without turning around.

"What you did was foolish today"

If she only knew the truth "I know…"

"Why don't you go back to Hogwarts?" she asked "You won't get beaten up there and you can work that end and give us further information on Dumbledore"

He sighed "I have my reasons"

He left the room in silence not wanting to say anymore on the subject to her. Her mind was so easy to invade he only hoped Voldemort had no reason to read into hers.

"Ah Severus" came Lucius's voice down the hall "Good to see up and about"

Snape turned gritting his teeth in anger but calmed upon seeing he was holding his son Draco "Lucius"

"Do you need assistance out of the house?" he smirked "I can have house elf levitate you if you so wish it?"

"Bore off Malfoy" Snape warned "If you knew what is best for you you'll stay very well away from me right now"

"How dare –"

"-I mean it" Snape warned as his anger levels were rising.

He then turned back and headed down the flight of stairs to the front door eager to get away from the Malfoy Manor. He exited into the cool night air and marched off of the premises before soaring up into the sky in a cloud of thick black smoke. Despite all that had just happened, how he could never win no matter what he did, Snape was happy just knowing The Dark Lord was angry for he was never going to find the prophesied boys – not while Snape was around…

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk while Mad Eye Moody stood before him. Between the two men on the desk was Severus Snape's letter requesting Dumbledore to meet him. The room was dimly lit by the roaring fire and the torches behind Dumbledore's desk. Both men seemed very anxious.

"Neville Longbottom is with his Grandmother in a safe location" Mad Eye stated "There is no chance on this Earth anyone will find them where I just put them"

Dumbledore nodded yet spoke gravely "Very good news"

"You're still going through with this aren't you?" Mad Eye asked then pointed to the letter on the desk "I want to go with you"

"Severus clearly stated he wish to speak to me and me alone" Dumbledore calmly replied "Besides you already confirmed that I would meet him therefore I shall not stand him up"

"I am not suggesting you don't go just don't go alone. It could be a trap Albus"

"Even after what he has done?" Dumbledore frowned in confusion.

"Once a Death Eater _always_ a Death Eater" Mad Eye grunted "Who knows what he is capable of"

"I think I have a fairly good judgement of Severus" Dumbledore stood "He has placed himself in such a despicable situation at his own choice… I am surprised at how well he is holding up"

"Holding up?" Mad Eye scoffed "He did not look so well when I saw him earlier…I bet you're going to get an earful when you see him"

"Speaking of which" Dumbledore checked his pocket watch "I'm not one for being late"

"If _anything_ happens" Mad eye warned "Send a Patronus – I have men and women on standby"

"Thank you but I have feeling you can send you men and woman home for the evening" Dumbledore rose and headed for the door to his office "Or perhaps put them to better use and secure the castle with a little more security while I am away"

Mad Eye was defeated; he could not stop Dumbledore from going "Yes sir…"

"Goodnight Alistor" Dumbledore bid him goodbye as he left his office and descended through the castle into order to reach the school boundaries for apparition.

Albus Dumbledore could not deny he was expecting his meeting with Severus to be hostile for he had refused to meet him on several previous occasions at The Orders recommendations however after what he did with Neville Longbottom, he owed him this. So upon reaching the school gates Dumbledore immediately apparated to a place not far from the meeting point that he visited previously many years ago.

In the dark he imagined he could have been anywhere however as the crashing of nearby waves caught his attention he scanned the coastline until he found the meeting point. A disused lighthouse sat about half a mile from another that had replaced it; its beacon of light rotated in the distance lighting up the surrounding area…

The building had clearly been abandoned years ago, the iron steps creaked as Dumbledore climbed them and he continued to climb for every level he passed was empty of any life. He reached the top where the icy wind blew about where the windows up here had been smashed. Dumbledore crept around the corner of the large beacon and found the man he was meant to be meeting…

Standing with his back to Dumbledore and gazing out at the other working lighthouse was Severus Snape. His hands were gripping the railing before him and his forehead pressed against one of the windows that remain intact. Dumbledore edged closer concerned for the young man for surely he had heard footsteps behind him by now. Or was he choosing to ignore him? Moody's words echoed in his mind _I bet you're going to get an earful when you see him…_

"Severus?" Dumbledore's voice was firm "Severus turn around"

The young man's shoulders shifted and his head rose but he did not turn around "Good evening headmaster, I was beginning to wonder if you would show up at all"

"Now Severus that is not fair-"

"-_don't_ talk to me of fair" At that Snape finally turned around and opened his arms wide as if he were some sort of spectacle. "Gawp all you want…I have nothing left to hide"

Normally Dumbledore wold take an outburst like this as a cry for attention however Severus was utterly in the right for this. He had not only lost a considerable amount of weight, his Death Eater robes were torn and burnt from various raids and injuries. His skin was unhealthily pale, his eyes sunken in and hair much longer than normal. However it was the visible injuries that startled Dumbledore for Severus wore a black eye, a gash on one cheek and his hands were almost red raw from cuts and bruises.

"Severus…"Dumbledore sighed "I shall admit I had no idea how awful things were this side"

"And it just gets worse" Snape said turning away again and gazing out of the window "The Dark Lord is growing anxious…he is angry that he not getting closer to the prophesied boys which means he is moving his goals around a bit"

"We have noticed a greater disturbance in his infiltration of the ministry – several people having been found under the imperious curse" Dumbledore explained "What else is he planning Severus?"

Dumbledore watched Severus carefully and noticed how restless the young man was. His hands were gripping the rail tightly and he could not keep still. He repeated his question which merely sparked Severus to make a strange choking noise that sounded somewhere between a laugh and a cry.

"Severus?" Dumbledore stepped closer "What has he planned?"

Severus turned his head and saw the his Headmaster was nearly standing beside him "He wants Hogwarts"

"Well I already knew that" Dumbledore replied "Is he planning on attacking soon then?"

Snape nodded "He has not spoken of it for a while, not to me anyway…but…"

"But?" Dumbledore was now at the railing "Severus you _must_ tell me…has he asked you to do something in the castle?"

Severus turned and faced Dumbledore now "I have been asked to try and get the location of Harry Potter out of you by any means…and regardless of if you give me answer…he wants me to kill you"

Dumbledore did not seem shocked but he merely nodded "Was this why you were so keen in seeing me? So you could tell me because I apologise for not coming sooner but The Order-"

"-I knew at Christmas"

You could have heard a pin drop in that room at that point. Only the waves crashing below were now heard as Snape and Dumbledore stared dangerously at each other.

"Even after I asked you on several occasions you still failed to tell me" Dumbledore was calm but clearly irate at what he had just heard. "Why?"

"I thought I could fix it" Snape said " I was little help at the castle and The Dark Lord was growing annoyed at the useless information I passed on so he was aiming on attacking…if I was this side I could try and prevent it or postpone it"

"Did you bring me here tonight to tell me all this or to do the deed?" Dumbledore retorted.

"You know I can't do it" Snape turned away from Dumbledore ashamed "I think The Dark Lord knows this too…"

"So what happens when you must complete this task?" Dumbledore asked.

"I was thinking I'll just let you kill me…"

"Oh don't be so over dramatic Severus –"

"-no!" Snape spun around and faced his Headmaster in rage "I have done so much in the past few years, lied, nearly died , seen and done things that others have nightmares of…and now this? You do not get to say I am over dramatic"

"I understand you are feeling underappreciated…perhaps lost" Dumbledore said "But you are not alone, we will cross that bridge when we come to it, you won't have to kill and I am certainly not going to kill you…you have done so much for The Order its –

"-_The Order"_ Snape's eyes were wide "I have not done this for _The Order – _I did this for _her…a_nd her son"

Dumbledore was confused at first then released "...Lily?"

Snape nodded "Do not act so shocked you knew this already"

"I knew you cared for her but not like that" Dumbledore admitted "I am afraid to say that although your loyalties lie with her she does not return them…you may die for her, but she was willing to die for The Order the moment she signed up"

"I know" Snape said "But it has always been someone else before me when it comes to her…It probably always will"

"And you won't change" it was not a question; Dumbledore finally understood Snape's feelings in their fullest. "It is very touching Severus, poetic even…the tormented soul that fights for his life every day to keep her safe…even when he knows the possibility of her returning the affection is so slim"

"You don't know that" Snape snapped and replied harshly "The only reason she will not try is because she buried her husband a few months ago. Perhaps in time…"

"I am afraid I do know" Dumbledore said "You see you have not seen her in the last few months"

Snape had an inkling of what Dumbledore was about to say as he produced a small crystal ball from his robe pocket and tapped it with his wand where images started to swirl into much like pensive.

Snape watched from Dumbledore's extended hand as images of Lily and Lupin walking together, talking together, sitting at meals and even going out to Hogsmeade together.

"As you said" Dumbledore put the crystal ball back in his pocket "She buried her husband a few months ago…and she has not returned any of _your_ affection"

"Damn you" Snape turned his back on Dumbledore and walked a few paces away before slamming his fist down on the iron railing in anger. "They are just friends – he was James friend!"

"She would die for The Order before you Severus" Dumbledore snapped "I cannot have my spy weakened by this affection – you cannot do anything foolish just stay on task…we will deal with your job of killing me in due time – so stay on task so you can pre-warn us of an attack…your loyalties will be greatly rewarded Severus I guarantee this…you will be a decorated war hero when all this is over"

Snape could not get the image of Lily with Lupin in Hogsmeade…it was as if they were on a date – surely she would not dare.

"Now I need you here Severus" Dumbledore continued "You even said yourself you were more use here and I can see how bad it is for you…but you must be strong…love can blind you and a blind spy is no good to me"

Snape gave a small nod "Yes sir"

Dumbledore came closer to Severus and gave his shoulder and reassuring squeeze "I am proud of you Severus, but the road to redemption is an uphill battle"

"Who said that?" Snape asked.

"I did" Dumbledore smiled patted his shoulder before backing away "Goodnight Severus and good luck"

Snape nodded as his Headmaster apparated away before him. Snape felt better and yet worse at that meeting; better for having confessed his impossible task and worse in finding out that while he is fighting for his life and the lives of Lily and her son…she does not feel the same. He punched the railing one more time ignoring the searing pain that shot through his hand before apparating back to him home in Spinners End to carry on his intolerable lifestyle.

Dumbledore climbed the stairs case to his office in the dead of the night. It was so peaceful when the students were tucked up in their beds and he often enjoyed the tranquillity of the beautiful building all lit up under candle light. He pushed open the heavy oak door and was surprised to see Lily sat in the armchair before the fire.

"Lily?" he smiled "Is everything alright? It's awfully late"

"Sorry Headmaster" Lily stood up "I had to see you"

"Where's Harry?" Dumbledore asked taking a seat at his desk and indicating her to sit before him. "With Remus?"

Lily sat down in the chair in front of the desk "No, Harry is with professor McGonagall…I was walking with him before bedtime but he was so restless it took a little longer…anyway I bumped into Alistor Moody and he told me where you had gone"

"Ah" Dumbledore nodded.

"Well?" Lily asked eagerly "How is he?"

Dumbledore explained what had happened but obviously left out the details of Snape's affection for her to which she looked worried.

"When is he coming back then?" she asked "He sounds miserable and it's getting worse out there"

"I am not sure "Dumbledore said "He cannot leave right now because The Dark Lord is planning on coming to Hogwarts in the future… Severus needs to warn us so we can ensure the place is secure and that you and Harry are safe"

"Is that what he wants?" she asked.

"It does not matter what he wants" Dumbledore stated "He is so valuable it would be foolish for him to not being doing what he is right now"

"So he gets no choice?" She frowned "That is hardly fair he could be dying out there"

Dumbledore leaned back and gave a smirk "Sorry…I had no idea you felt like that for him"

"He is my oldest and dearest friend" she replied "Of course I do"

"You care for him like you do Remus?" Dumbledore asked.

Lily frowned at such an odd question "Well yes and no…If anything I have known Severus longer and he has certainly done so much more for me than Remus has – don't get me wrong Remus tries but Severus has always put himself out there for me and Harry…why is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong" Dumbledore smiled "I am just glad to see you two have rekindled that friendship…now if you'll excuse me I am going to bed, I wish could say more but that is all know."

"Good night Professor and sorry for getting stressed out…I just thought something might have happened" she stood up and headed for the door "You will keep me updated on him won't you?"

"Of course" Dumbledore nodded "Goodnight"

He waited for the door to close and for the sound of the stone gargoyle to move closing his eyes out of stress and fatigue. "Oh I hope I did the right thing…"

"Feeling stressed Dumbledore…"

Dumbledore turned his head upwards to his bookcase to see the Sorting Hat shifting in its place as it spoke "I had to lie today in order to keep my spy in line…I even showed him false images as proof of something"

"Sometimes we must lie to keep control" the hat spoke in its croaking voice.

"I just hope it does not do more damage"

"Oh it'll come back round don't you worry it always does" The hat gave a little laugh before calmly stating "…but for now, in the midst of war, you _must_ keep order"

Dumbledore nodded "Thank you…"

He sat there a while in deep thought before finally retiring for the night. He only hoped that he had made the right choice with Severus for the man had been through so much already. For now he would try and sleep then prepare the castle for as much security measures as possible for it was inevitable that The Dark Lord would be making a visit to Hogwarts…

**I have to admit this was not one of my planned chapters however I felt this was needed for showed to a certain extent the torture Snape is going through and his motives too. That and it showed how some people have to make tough decisions during time such as war. - It may have come out a bit more angsty that I had intended though... Anyway please let me know what you think and I plan to upload another chapter tonight! **


	8. Snape's Plight

**I just want to thank those who reviewed I really do appreciate it :)**

Chapter 8 – Snape's Plight

Lily was preparing for Harry's 2nd birthday that was coming up in the next week meaning Severus had been away for over two months since Macnair had snuck into the castle and she had heard no news from him and neither had Dumbledore. She had sent Hagrid a list of shopping for when he next went into Hogsmeade so she could obtain some things for Harry's birthday then went up to see Dumbledore with Harry running ahead. She watched her son bound up to the windows watching the owls fly into the sunset.

Dumbledore's office seemed to glow orange as the summer sun hung low in the sky. Dumbledore had asked Harry silly questions about his birthday from the balcony only for Harry to hide behind Lily's legs shyly.

"Professor" she asked holding Harry's hand as Dumbledore descended the stair case and took a seat at his desk. "Don't you think it is worrying Severus being gone this long?"

"He did say he had no idea how long he would be" Dumbledore nodded "But yes I have started to grow anxious of his whereabouts"

"He left because of me" Lily admitted "He is trying to repent all his dark deeds of the past but putting himself out all the time, he's going to get himself killed"

"He was not wrong in leaving" Dumbledore admitted "He was sure Harry was in danger of some of the children here spotting him and saying something to their Darker family members."

Harry piped up at hearing his name "'ello"

Dumbledore smiled "Yes, hello Harry"

Harry just smiled and pulled Lily's hand to be free but she gripped tighter "Don't Harry – Professor is there no way on contacting him?"

"You are _really _ that worried" Dumbledore smiled "I could send an owl to his home in Spinner's End but then we don't want the letter falling into the wrong hands"

"Do you think Harry is in danger?" Lily asked now picking her son up. "Be truthful"

Dumbledore nodded "We are_ all_ in danger, Lily. Let's just hope Severus returns soon with good news"

Lily put Harry down as he started fidgeting "Thank you Professor, I just wish I could do more to help. I can't bear to leave Harry though"

"I do not want to bring risk to you both by having you moved" Dumbledore said "Having Severus watch that other side means you can remain here safely"

"Even now the students are off for the summer?" Lily asked "Surely you cannot get Aurors and Order members in to secure an entire castle just for me and Harry?"

"I can do my best" Dumbledore eyes twinkled knowingly "You are safe to remain here throughout the summer unless you wish to be elsewhere I can arrange for you to be moved safely"

"Thank you Sir" Lily smiled "I feel safer here than anywhere"

Dumbledore nodded in agreement "Good, now go and enjoy this glorious summer evening"

With that she scooped Harry up and left Dumbledore's office. The castle was beautiful at this time of day and Lily often enjoyed walking with Harry around the grounds now that he was able to stand very well on his own two feet. She let him down and watched him totter off uneasily down the hallway and around the corner where she then heard voices. Lily hurried ahead to catch Harry and found Professor Flitwick humouring her son who actually was only a little bit shorter than he was.

"Harry don't run off like that" she spoke in a harsh tone then smiled at her Professor "Hello professor, I hope he is bothering you"

"Not at all, not at all" Flitwick beamed "I heard you were in The Headmasters office and came to find you"

"Oh?"

"Yes" Flitwick nodded "I just wanted to thank you for all you help this past year you were a great hit with the students"

"Oh thank you" Lily smiled "It's the least I can do while I am here"

"Well that is also what I wanted to say" Flitwick began "As of next year I wanted to offer you a permanent position as a Professor"

"Are you leaving Sir?" she asked.

"No, I have a few more years left in me here don't you worry" he chuckled "However I do not mind lightening my load by offering you the position to teach the first years and then assist me in the other years"

She was stunned "Thank you so much professor I would love to do that"

"Excellent" he squeaked "I shall arrange it with The Headmaster now"

Lily watched her Professor walk away towards the stone gargoyle that she herself had just exited from. She then took Harry by the hand and led him down the hall where she then heard more voices down below which was odd considering the castle was practically empty. She assumed it would be the last of the staff packing up for the summer and moving out however upon descending the stairs she saw it was in fact Mad Eye Moody, Remus and two Aurors she often saw patrolling the castle.

"Hello" she greeted them to which stopped their conversation "Everything alright here?"

"Just discussing the matters of your security at the castle" Mad Eye said "Remus just offered his place but I said no due to the little problem of him turning into a raving werewolf each month"

Lily was uncomfortable with this conversation "I understand why it is best that Harry and I move seeing as it is more useful to have Aurors elsewhere than patrol an entire castle just for us two. However I have nowhere else to go"

"It may be possible to move you to The Weasley's" Mad Eye stated "What's two more in that house anyway"

"I don't want to impose" Lily said "I will do what is best but if I am not happy with the alternative I will remain here for the entire summer if I must"

"Fine" Made Eye replied in a gruff voice before marching off.

Remus then smiled half-heartedly at her and waited for Mad Eye to leave before speaking "I visited Sirius today"

"How is he?" she asked eagerly.

"Miserable" Remus replied "He wants to know why you are only writing to him"

"I promised Severus I would not leave the castle" Lily said "Not even to visit Sirius"

"Well he needs more than letters" Remus stated "He is losing his mind in there"

"I can't" Lily shook her head.

"So am I meant to tell him that you can't visit him because _Severus_ said so?" Remus was wide eyed now.

"I do not have to explain my actions any further than that Remus" Lily snapped "If Severus believes I am in danger outside these walls then I shall remain here"

"I trust Severus, I really do" Remus began "_However_…I cannot help but think he is, perhaps, not able to keep this facade up much longer…meaning that staying here is not entirely safe"

"I am sorry Remus" Lily looked at him through sad eyes "But you are not standing at You-Know-Who's side knowing his next move…Severus is and will warn us if needed."

"Well where is he!" Remus snapped then looked at Harry who flinched, so he calmed himself and carried on "Severus has been gone for a very long time now, we have had very little useful information from him. For all we know he could be _dead_"

"I am not having this conversation with you Remus" She scooped Harry up and marched off into the Great Hall to wait for dinner, she did not care that was near on half an hour early for it, she needed her space.

She put Harry on a chair next to hers at the staff table where he stood up on it to see over the dining table. The candles in the hall had started to illuminate on their own accord at the sky in the ceiling glowed red with grey clouds. Lily tried to flatten her son's hair and fought back tears of hoping that it she and Harry would get through all of this mess.

After a while the few teachers started to file in for dinner. Dumbledore, Flitwick, Hagrid and a couple more took their places at the staff table and spoke in quiet conversations about their summer plans. However before dinner was even served there was a sudden rush of footsteps outside the large double doors and McGonagall burst in "You had better come quickly"

Both Dumbledore and Lily rushed through the hall, Lily holding Harry tight as they reached the entrance hall. She handed Harry to Hagrid who scooped him up with one arm holding him tight.

Lily joined Dumbledore and McGonagall by the entrance where they were staring out into the grounds . She saw in the distance as the sun was sinking behind the tree's a dark figure of a man hobbling towards them. Lily took a step forward with a warning from Dumbledore causing her to produce her wand just in case it was not who she thought it was.

Lily walked out with Dumbledore and McGonagall all ready with their wands. The man was carrying a large duffle bag over his shoulder, his clothes seemed tatty and he walked with an obvious limp. This could not have been Severus Snape.

Only it was.

Lily saw the man lift his head and she caught a glimpse of her friend from under his black hair and ran to help him. He fell to his knees before she arrived and Lily saw the transformation of him over the last month; he was drastically thinner, unshaven, dark bags sat under his eyes from many sleepless night and his hair was shorter due to being singed off as burn scars covered the back of his neck.

He uttered something but his throat seemed parched and husky. "What was that Severus?"

"…They're coming"

He collapsed onto her from exhaustion and Dumbledore and Lily helped him to his feet but he kept staggering, desperately trying to stand up. They ended up carrying the lightweight of him to the main door leaving McGonagall to carry his duffle bag. His body was beaten and bruised and he was too weak to walk any further without their help and he eventually passed out as they reached the first flight of stairs.

They all took Severus to the Hospital Wing unconscious and Lily really could see how worn out he was as Madam Pomfrey pulled his dusty coat off of him and began healing at his injuries.

"He is utterly exhausted" Madam Pomfrey admitted as she began muttering incantations over his still form "Malnourished and dehydrated"

She then began to help with the malnourishment and lack of fluid in Severus where he eventually woke up. His sunken eyes locked onto Dumbledore and croakily repeated "They're coming"

"Voldemort" Lily gasped causing Madam Pomfrey to whimper at his name "How long do we have Severus, what happened?"

"I've spent the last three days in the Forbidden Forest" he admitted still talking to Dumbledore only "I was trying to find my way back here but could not use magic for he would find me"

"Severus has your cover been blown?" Dumbledore asked "Does he no longer trust you?"

"Oh _he _does" Severus coughed then forced himself to sit where he then looked at Lily "The other do not"

Severus then pulled back the sleeve of his grey shirt that was meant to be white revealing his Dark Mark, it was jet black and it appeared to Lily it had been infected; black veins had shot out of it surrounding his forearm. The black veins surrounding his Dark Mark pulsed and the surrounding area looked burnt and sore.

Snape explained "If I do any magic…they can find me…they do not trust me despite what Voldemort thinks" he gave rattling cough and laid his head back down "I'm too weak"

"You're not weak Sev" Lily said stepping forward "We need to know what happened"

Then Severus took the glass of water and downed it before putting the tip of his wand to his temple pulling out several strands of silvery hair then handed the glass to Lily "Here, see for yourself"

"Please" Madam Pomfrey began "Allow me to sort him out, he is in no state to talk about battle tactics"

With that Dumbledore rushed out of the Hospital Wing beckoning Lily after him who was reluctant to leave Snape yet once Snape waved his hand at her to leave she spun around and followed Dumbledore to his office. He then pulled out the large silver shallow bowl that he kept in the corner of the room and beckoned her closer .

"Ever used a Penseive before?" Dumbledore asked to which Lily shook her head "This should be interesting then, I will warn you though, it may not be a pretty sight…You will most likely see your friend in a different light, but remember, he is _playing_ his part"

She watched Dumbledore pour in Snape's memories. They swirled around and she caught glimpses of Severus and Voldemort then W_ormtail…_

"Ready?" Dumbledore asked ushering her closer to the bowl and held her hand while he placed his head into it causing her to be sucked down into the memories too.

It was very hazy, full of washed out colours and all sounds seemed to echo here. The image cleared up a bit and there was Severus in her home running past James on the stairs begging Voldemort to leave her unconscious body alone… it swirled to him clutching her tight and apprating both her and Harry to safety. The image then changed to some sort of the torture scene from earlier this year with Bellatrix…She could not watch but even closing her eyes did not help for she was now just imagining what was happening through the noises he made…

"He needs us to know what he has gotten himself into" Dumbledore stated realising how distressing it must be for her to watch. She then opened her eyes and saw Voldemort in clear view peering closer to Snape, she wanted to scream but the image swirled into various images of Severus at Hogwarts patrolling at night, him standing in front of a mirror, him catching the Yaxley boy and deciding to leave only to find Wormtail in his home.

The scene changed again and Severus is on his knees at a cemetery while Lord Voldemort circled him. "You have done well Severus"

"Thank you My Lord" Severus was staring at the wet grass and not making eye contact with Voldemort "I have one other notion, My Lord, If I may?"

"Of course" Voldemort nodded "You have proved a very useful ally Severus"

"While at Hogwarts I grew concerned with how nosy some of the students were, with me…it was causing a bit of a stir, I could have been easily caught out."

"Do you wish me to speak to their families?" Voldemort asked.

"Merely just forbid any of the adults passing information or using their young to do _my_ job" Snape smirked "That is why I am at Hogwarts, I'm sorry to say children have wild imaginations and will get information wrong"

"Yesss" Voldemort hissed "Yaxley had suggested to me his nephew may have seen a _baby _at the school, any children at the school Severus?"

"If there is, it is not Harry Potter" Snape's eyes darted up to his masters "I can assure you that"

The scene changed at Lily was taken aback to see Severus in Spinner's End pinning a large object against the kitchen wall. At first she thought he had just lifted a heavy bag of something but realised it was a person.

"Yes, Wormtail it is already a bane to have you in my home but to have you eavesdropping on mine and The Dark Lords conversations will result in me do this" Snape swung a fist into Wormtails stomach causing him to double over, Snape then pulled out his wand "_Reducto!"_

The blasted into Wormtails foot causing him to cry in pain, bones crunched, Wormtail cried while Snape sneered "Next time…it'll be you're face"

The scene swirled, _so Wormtail was with Lord Voldemort and clearly did not trust Snape._ The fog cleared onto various raids, masked Death Eaters stormed many different buildings, Lily was unsure which was Severus as they were all causing destruction; obviously Snape could not pretend. The scenes stopped on Azkaban, she saw Sirius huddled in a cell screaming at a Death Eater that happened to be Severus _"I can't break you out but I know Wormtail did it"_

Dumbledore's attention was focussed on the next cell "Oh dear, Lily"

In the cell beside Sirius was a tall, thin man with matted brown hair wearing grey striped prison garments. The man was staring venomously, screaming at Snape but his screams were unheard.

"Barty Crouch Jr" Dumbledore shook his head "His father works in at Ministry and got him realised a few weeks ago"

"So he knows?" Lily's eyes went wide and the scene changed to more raids, one in which Snape's hood feel down revealing his oily black hair but his face was still hidden behind a mask. They were back at the cemetery now and Voldemort and Snape were alone again.

"Severus I have a task for you" Voldemort smiled, that was strange enough to witness "Come here Wormtail"

Wormtail came out of hiding from behind a tombstone and gave his master a shaky bow.

"You two are to go to Gringott's and retrieve me this" he handed severus a piece of paper with a drawing of a goblet with the HufflePuff emblem on it. "It is in Bellatrix's vault, I need it"

The scene switched to Severus and Wormtail in Gringotts bank but they were outside a vault both attacking each other with spells.

"You can't transform here, Pettigrew!" Snape bellow firing a green bolt at Wormtail who defended himself.

"Severus, please!" Wormtail cried out tripped over a stone onto his back "Have Mercy!"

"Crucio!"

Wormtail twitched in agonising pain while Snape spat through gritted teeth.

"Vengence is sweet" Snape's eyes were full of fury "You betrayed you're friends"

The pain stopped "What would you have done Severus!"

"I would have died!" Snape ran at the man huddled on the floor grabbing him by the throat.

The scene swirled again to Voldemort and Snape alone.

"I'm sorry my lord" Severus admitted handing him the Hufflepuff cup "But when Wormtail saw what value the cup hand he attempted to steal it by morphing into his rodent counterpart…when he could not change inside the bank due to their counter curses he fled into the night"

"So Wormtail is still alive?" Voldemort asked.

"I'm afraid so, My Lord" Snape nodded "I tried my utmost to find him but he slipped down a drain in Knockturn Alley"

"Stand up" Voldemort order and Snape did as he was told. Lily thought Voldemort was about to slap him across the face but instead brought his hand down to rest on Snape's shoulder "You have done well…but I must ask you if you had had any more thought into the _task_ I set you a few months, any ideas…should I order you to hurry up or perhaps you can work out the best moment yourself…I was hoping to be present but as such a loyal and…_intelligent_ young man, I would like to hear what you have to say"

Before Snape could answer the memory changed again and Dumbledore frowned in annoyance at not knowing what the answer was to the task Snape and Voldemort were talking about. The scene was calm now, Severus was walking alone at night in Spinner's End, his hair here was shorter while he tried to nurse his burns with an ice pack (Lily assumed it was an injury from a raid) but it also meant they must be nearing the end of the memories. He unlocked his front door and stepped in pulling out his wand straight away.

"Reveal yourself" he snapped and slowly made his way to the living room where the fire was crackling in the fireplace to have a man standing before him muttering to himself "Turn around, drop your wand"

"I don't have a wand" the man laughed turning around "They destroy it see…when you go to Azkaban"

Snape recognised the man, it was Barty Crouch Jr and he looked awful; his hair long and straggly and he clothes baggy and torn. "What are you doing here?"

The man flicked his tongue out in a serpent like way "I thought we could have a bit of a reunion"

Snape watched as Crouch pulled out what looked like a shoe brush from his dusty coat pocket only to see it was a rat. "Wormtail"

Crouch dropped Wormtail and the rat morphed into his human self with a smug grin now pointing his wand at Snape. "We know you're a liar Severus"

"The Dark Lord is going to kill you, you do know that Wormtail" Snape brow was creased and his teeth bared "As for you, Crouch, hiding away in your mothers basement every time we are summoned"

"I'll be sent to Azkaban!" Crouch hissed "You however…I will see you have a fate worse than that"

"I fail to see how you; an unarmed moron and a rat attempting to look threatening will overcome me" Snape sneered "_Stupi-"_

_"Expelliarmus" _barked a stranger's voice sending Snape's wand flying

Lily gasped for she had not even seen the third person.

"Yaxley" Snape grunted backing up against the bookshelf as Yaxley approached pressing his wand against Snape's neck. The speech was muffled slightly and Lily soon saw why as Snape was next lying on the floor with the three men pinning him down while Yaxley was cursing his Dark Mark. They had Snape on the ground and it took all three of them to hold him still while they cursed his forearm.

"You do any magic with your wand Severus and we'll find you" Yaxley laughed pressing his wand to Snape's foreman harder "You think you can threaten my nephew, he was clearly on to something"

They then gave him back his wand where Crouch laughed "Run Severus, run and lead us to Harry Potter"

"I don't know where he is!" Snape spat getting up from the floor holding his wand out.

"Every time you use your wand" Wormtail giggled then pointed to Snape's infected looking Dark Mark "That'll burn like hell...where ever you go Severus we will hunt you down!"

Then all the men flew out of the window in a battle of thick black smoke, he wasn't using his wand so Snape would have been alright but it meant he could not lose them. He could not go to The Dark Lord because it would risk Snape being caught and Crouch and Wormtail could not either for they were wanted. The only way they would have been spared is if they took Snape to Voldemort and forced a confession out of him.

The final scene was a ragged looking Snape clambering through The Forbidden Forest, unable to use magic so he travelled by foot. However a large centaur leapt up out of a thicket of woods causing Snape to instinctively draw his wand and stun him.

CRACK

Someone had apparated nearby forcing Snape to run, red and green bolts flew over his head as he forced himself through the woods finally collapsing outside the school, where of course, his attackers witnessed Lily Potter running up to him and helping him to the castle.

Lily felt herself lifting through the air and landing back in Dumbledore's office. She was shaking; she needed to be with Harry.

"This does not mean, Voldemort is coming" Dumbledore tried to reassure her "However, it does mean that renegade Death Eaters will most likely come here in an attempt to win back their masters heart. Wormtail for instants will want to prove his loyalty to Voldemort and Crouch certainly wants to be with his master but cannot bring himself to explain his absence for he would look weak for his parents locked him in the house to prevent him trying to see Lord Voldemort"

Lily burst out of Dumbledore's office, down the main stairs cases and out onto the school grounds, night had fallen now as she ran towards Hagrids cabin knocking frantically. Hagrid could be heard inside "Alrigh' alrigh' calm down I'm 'ere"

The door swung open and Hagrid was stood there holding Harry to which Lily grabbed at hugging him tight "Hagrid, Death Eaters are on their way"

"Bloody 'ell" Hagrid grabbed his umbrella wand and marched out with Lily towards the castle. "How long we got?"

"No idea" her voice was a near whisper.

Every staff member that remained convened in the Great Hall shortly joined by many members of The Order of the Phoenix. Lily hugged Lupin and waited as Mad Eye started barking orders "Righ', now it's not going to be a crusade but we need this place protected…well don't just stand there move!"

With that members of the order began firing protective charms around the castle. Dumbledore led Lily to the North Tower, saying she can sit up there and wait for it all to blow over however upon passing the Hospital Wing Snape limped out.

"Head Master" his expression was stern and had a flicker of fear in it that Lily had never seen "I've been summoned"

"Severus…it is your choice what you do" Dumbledore's words were calm and collected yet Lily was confused.

"What does that mean?" Lily asked Severus "Go and see what he wants then return here?"

"I've put two and two together and believe he is already on his way here" Severus then looked at Harry "Lock him away, put him in a room, a hidden chamber anything"

"Severus" Dumbledore began "If you do not go, he will kill you for being here"

"Don't worry about me Head Master" Snape straightened up.

Dumbledore turned to Lily "I must go and secure the castle, go to the North Tower and lock yourself in there"

"Yes Headmaster" Lily watched Dumbledore leave before turning back to Severus "I'm glad you're here now please do something for me"

"Anything" Snape said straightening up.

Lily then stepped towards Severus "Take Harry and hide him, don't tell me where"

Snape's stomach flipped, she had trusted him with the most important of tasks "I shall"

Lily gave Harry a kiss on the forehead "Be brave Harry, be safe, I love you so much…now Severus is going to keep you safe"

Snape went to take the boy from her and suddenly staggered back in agony as if his forehead had been struck by a bludger. He pressed the palm to his head and fell back into the stone wall sliding to the floor in absolute agony.

Lily was at his side leaving Harry to stand close by and watch confused as his mother took Snape's hand and tried to comfort him but it was as if Snape could not hear her.

His eyes were pinched shut and an icy voice crept inside his mind, a voice only he could hear, Voldemort's…

_Severus…I know where you are…I know the boy's mother is inside that castle…I am aware of your affection for her for I did not forget your constant pleas to have mercy on her previously…love makes you do foolish things Severus…witnesses saw you with her earlier today in the school grounds…I shall spare her…on one condition…reconsider the task I set you ….Hogwarts is to be mine...with that I will easily operate from there and find the boy another time… kill Albus Dumbledore and the mother shall live…_

Lily watched Snape writhing in pain and tried to sooth him with words of comfort but he could not hear her however after a moment or so he removed his hand from his head and opened his eyes as if the pain had passed. He was sweating and looked paler than ever.

"He was talking to you wasn't he?" Lily said terrified by Snape's expression "What's wrong?"

"Lily" his voice was barely a whisper "Would you be able to kill…if it meant you could save another…?"

**Next chapter is going be BIG - hitting two big story arcs in the next one :) Please review and I hope to have the next chapter up soon!**


	9. Battleborn

**Thank so you much for the lovely reviews and PM's :D Sorry this has taken so long to update – I had a flux of inspiration and changed some bits last minute and then had real life to contend with lol – Anyway enjoy this chapter and I'll try and update more often J**

Chapter 9 – Battle Born

_"Would you be able to kill…if it meant you could save another…?"_

At first Lily thought he was being delirious but then slowly pulled Harry closer to her "For the ones I love, yes…"

With that Severus stood up and before he could even start to elaborate on what he meant Madam Pomfrey came rushing out of the hospital wing "For Goodness sake man – you have internal injuries that need seeing too! Inside now!"

Snape was ushered back inside the hospital wing where Lily followed him. Snape was forced into a stool while Madam Pomfrey handed him a blood replenishing potion while she finished producing a salve for his other injuries. He downed the potion wincing at the horrid iron-like taste before taking the pot of salve from Madam Pomfrey and insisting he dealt with his own injuries. Eventually Madam Pomfrey gave up in a huff and stormed away leaving Snape to it where Lily stood close by in silence.

While he was rubbing the salve onto his neck he spoke to Lily but did not look at her "Do you still want me to hide Harry?"

Lily took a deep breath before nodding "Hide him somewhere safe"

"I know the perfect place" Snape then turned to her "No one will be able to reach him"

"Don't tell me where" Lily's voice was stern "If I am captured they may try and pry it out of me…"

Snape nodded before looking at his infected Dark Mark "I shall do my best"

"That does not look good Sev" she said looking at the mark.

"I'll live" he huffed pulling his sleeve down to cover it then looked back at her to find her staring at him "What?"

She shook her head "You're just…different"

"I'm sorry this is not an expected reunion" he tried not to sound too sarcastic "We have an impending attack on the building and I have been pushed beyond my limits these past few months so forgive me if I do not seem pleased to see you"

That hurt but Lily nodded "I have to go – I am not hiding away in the North tower like Dumbledore wants. I am going to fight…so please take Harry"

Lily handed Harry over to Snape who held him in one arm but the boy was reluctant to leave his mother.

"It's alright sweetheart" Lily soothed Harry who tried to pry himself away from Snape "Severus will take care of you – won't you Sev?"

"Of course" Snape looked to Harry whose eyes were full of tears "I knew from the moment you asked me to take Harry you were not planning on hiding away in a tower – it is not your style"

She nodded and stroked Harry's hair holding back tears "Just promise me you'll put him somewhere safe"

"You have my word" Snape said as they begun to walk out of the hospital wing where Lily bid them both goodbye and good luck still fighting back those tears. Snape watched her run down the hall in the direction Dumbledore had headed earlier.

Severus Snape was clutching Harry tightly as the boy kept squirming to get away as they descended into the dungeons and towards the far end where the entrance to the Slytherin common room was. As it was the end of the school year so the password had been reset and the stone wall was wide open for Severus to enter. With no students and him setting a new password he was sure Harry would be safe in here.

"If only I had your father's bloody map I'd know the secret hideaways in the school"

He placed Harry in the first year dormitory on the floor and conjured up a teddy bear and blanket for him. The room was spotless and the beds stripped as no one was residing here anymore. The green glow from the lake gave a strange illumination and despite the common room being under the lake Snape closed the curtains with a flick of his wand ignoring the burning sensation his Mark gave him. He then knelt down in front of the boy and carefully checked that he was wearing his protecting pendant. "Under no circumstances do you remove that"

Harry just looked at him and went to grab his hair to which Severus pulled away "I mean it Harry" Harry stuck his tongue out at Snape who then rolled his eyes.

Snape stood up and stared at the small child who was now sat on the blanket looking up at him. Snape was torn at what to do for his next move. Voldemort's request was looming over him….If he did not obey Lily would be his next target but if he did and killed Dumbledore Lily would never forgive him.

His eyes locked onto Harry's eyes – her eyes.

"I don't care what happens to me anymore…" Snape said to the boy who was clearly oblivious to what he was talking about "Your mother will hate me, she will most likely kill me…but I will not see her die and you certainly will not be orphaned"

Snape's heart was pounding and rising through his chest it felt like it was in his throat. This was his calm before the storm…and he wanted to savour it. He gave a small nervous laugh at his situation. Here he was standing in the dormitory he had slept in during his first year here, the common room he had spent all his school years and now he was standing here with his rivals son – a boy that would never come into this dorm for he was no Slytherin – it was just madness.

He nodded as he realised what he must do and headed for the door to which Harry then started to cry. Snape turned back and tried to speak in a calming tone "Just be quiet and be safe Harry, do _not_ move"

Snape wished he could be more caring to the boy but with the impending attack on the school he had other priorities. He locked the door and performed many protection charms around the dungeons including a silencing charm just in case Harry started crying again. His final action was setting up a new password which only he now knew – Nobody was getting inside that common.

Snape then rushed up the stairs where sounds of the attacks had begun. Out in the courtyard black fog zoomed around the place but could not get through the barrier The Order had conjured. He found Lily at the front of the crowd between McGonagall and Lupn all with their wands at the ready. He steadily approached her so he was now a barrier between her and Lupin – much to Remus's shock for he did not know Severus was back on his feet.

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked as up in the night sky tiny black figures were circling up above them.

Snape took a deep breath "What I must"

Lily nodded understanding him "You had had better change then"

Snape realised what she meant, so with a flick of his wand his tatty clothes from running through the forest became jet black and blowing in the wind. His face was soon framed by a Death Eater hood and in his free hand a silver mask appeared. He took one last long look at Lily before asking "Where is Dumbledore?"

McGonagall answered this time and was obviously gawping at his Death Eater attire "The Headmaster is on the astronomy tower… defending the school from there"

"I'm counting at least ten Death Eaters" Lupin added taking no notice of Snape.

"Make it eleven" Snape snapped over his shoulder "Remember who I am or we will all suffer a fate worse than death if my cover is blown"

He took one final look at Lily before placing the silver mask upon his face and soaring up into the sky and around the towers of the school.

Lupin watched Snape's path as he disappeared around one of the school towers "I honestly do not know how we are going to get out of this one"

"Willingness Mr Lupin" McGonagall stated "We'll get through it"

"Severus will surely be big asset now" Lily said "He can tell us what they are planning"

Lupin suddenly realised "Where's Harry?"

"I gave him to Severus to hide" Lily said looking away from her friend to the sky of circling clouds of black smoke.

"You what?" Lupin's voice was a quiver "You _gave_ him…to Severus…just _handed_ him over?"

"I trust Severus with my life" Lily snapped. Her eyes were staring dangerously at Remus.

"Right…" Lupin could practically feel the colour draining from his skin at that moment. Harry was now in the possession of a supposedly reformed Death eater – _Who was looking for Dumbledore at this very moment._

Without a single word Lupin spun on his heels and ran back into the castle.

"Remus!" Lily called after him and was about to make chase by the Death Eaters had started their attack as bolts of energy started smashing into the shield charms.

"They'll be alright" McGonagall reassured her "We have more important things to worry about right now"

Both witches start reinforcing the shields around the castle and were shortly joined by Professor Flitwick and Hagrid who helped out in the raising their words to secure the school. An icy chill suddenly ran down everyone's spines as Lord Voldemort's menacing laugh echoed around them, the school and right through to the forests surrounding them.

Snape had heard the echoing laugh during his flight and Voldemorts voice invaded his head once more causing him to near on crash land on a near by roof ledge. Snape was on one of the towers, not as tall as the astronomy tower, and held onto a small stone gargoyle for support while Voldemort passed on his message.

_Severus…my dearest and most faithful follower…I need your answer boy, will you or will you not finish the task I set…_

"Of course" Snape muttered out loud "I do not have a choice"

Voldemort laughed _Of course you do…you either do as I say or you don't….if you do not…I will kill you and your little friend…I am holding off the full attack until I see you brandish the sky with my mark at Dumbledore's death…this is great honour Severus…do not disappoint me._

"I won't my lord" Snape opened his eyes in disbelief as down below several Order members and teachers defended the school from aimless attacks by a handful of Death Eaters. A few towers over from where Snape was perched was Dumbledore – the one man Snape looked up to…the one man that had all the answers to his problems….except this one… _He had spared her before…_ Snape bravely stood up straight, inches from the edge of the roof top and took flight once more…

Lupin's boots smacked the stone stair cases as he sprinted towards the astronomy tower. He had a moment of blind panic but he had to make sure Severus was not about to betray them, Mad Eye often spoke of Death Eaters always being Death Eaters but this was absurd. Lily trusted Severus and she had every right after saving Harry so many times however followers of Voldemort stopped at nothing for him and Lupin could not shake it.

Small explosions echoed around the castle as the Death Eaters attacked the defensive barriers but Lupin refused to stop. He had made to the fifth floor before a stitch kicked in but he forced himself upwards towards the tower he knew Dumbledore was stationed. He prayed that he was wrong about all this and he would grovel an apology later but he had to make sure.

As he made it to the top floor he stopped to catch his breath for a second before rounding the corner where the stairs to the astronomy tower were only to witness, to his utter horror, a cloud of smoke smash through a nearby window and disperse into a Death Eater – not any Death Eater but Snape.

"_No…" _it came out as a whisper due to him being exhausted form the run and ran after Severus as the man ascended to the stairs to the tower.

Lupin ran head on for the stairs and had an unfortunate collide with an invisible barrier stopping him from going any further. He felt his nose crack under the force and warm blood trickled down his face. His head started to spin as he staggered backwards away from the barrier and tears welled in his eyes from the pain.

"Damn you!" Lupin spat blood and yelled out not just in pain but also anger.

Dumbledore stood high above the castle casting his most powerful defensive spells over it. The evening wind blew gently here and he was so high up the sounds of the attacks down below could barely be heard. Yet a strange muffled yell from below caught his attention and upon turning around he instantly produced his wand as a Death Eaters stood before him.

He sighed in relief "Severus…you gave me a bit of fright"

Snape flicked his wand over his mask causing it to vanish into black mist but he remained speechless. His dark eyes seemed manic with stress and his face damp with sweat.

"They won't get in here" Dumbledore assured him "Only you, that is how intricate my defensive system is…but that brings me to ask why you are here?"

Dumbledore went to take a step closer to him but froze as Snape rose his wand to him. "Don't move"

"Severus?" Dumbledore frowned in confusion "What are you doing?"

Snape looked like he was about to cry "I must do this…_He…he –"_

"_-He _is a manipulative tyrant Severus" Dumbledore stated in a calm but firm voice "Those that put their faith into him do so under false pretences do _not_ make that same mistake…not again anyway"

"You don't understand" Severus muttered and rolled his sleeve up revealing his Dark Mark "I'm part of it now…it'll never go away"

"You are not a Death Eater Severus just because you wear that mark" Dumbledore took a daring step forward.

_"Expelliarmus"_

Dumbledore's wand flew out of his hand and landed near the edge of the towers balcony "Are you really going to kill me Severus?"

"I have to" Snape muttered.

"Because he will kill you?" Dumbledore shook his head "Don't be a coward Sev-"

"-I am not a coward!" Snape spat "I'm not doing it for me! I have never been doing this double agency for _me"_

"Ahh" Dumbledore nodded understanding "Lord Voldemort agreed to spare Lily upon completing this task... Just like he did the night he murdered James Potter"

Snape nodded "It's always been for her"

"Tell me Severus" Dumbledore took a step towards him "Do you really think he would have spared her if you had not showed up that night? I know he would have killed her because he _does-not-care _about your feelings Severus…he is as human as a Dementor now"

Severus looked like a ghost but kept his wand held high pointing it directly at Dumbledore's chest. He was shaking slightly and was most likely about to vomit at any moment.

"You're tired, you're angry and you have been through such an ordeal these past few months" Dumbledore took another step closer "You are not thinking straight and are clutching at straws…if you want to help Lily then _help her_. Doing this is not going to help _her_ is it?"

"He'll kill us all if I don't" Snape uttered , his lips quivering "He is waiting for me to finish this"

It pained Dumbledore to see Severus like this; a desperate young man struggling to do what is right. Not only was he physically damaged by that monster he is suffering mentally and Dumbledore _hated_ it. He hated this war, he hated Voldemort and he hated what had become of such a bright young man.

"Then finish it…"Dumbledore took another brave step forward so he was mere paces away from Snape "I promise you…if you just cast a Dark Mark in the sky…Voldemort will show you he true colours…he will not only kill Lily and everyone in this castle…he will kill you for he has no more use for you, you won't be able to spy for him and it is not like you would want to anyway so what sort of life is that"

Snape was shaking now – shock was setting in and he felt his knees buckle under the stress of the entire situation and due to his recent injuries. Dumbledore closed the gap between them and caught him before he hit the floor.

"It's alright" Dumbledore's voice was soothing as Snape just clutched at his robes and gave a silent sob.

"_I'm sorry"_

"It is not your fault" Dumbledore said in a quiet tone as he supported Snape.

Footsteps could be heard rushing up the tower and Dumbledore looked up to find Remus Lupin – his face smeared in blood from what looked like a broken nose – staring in horror at the scene. Dumbledore shook his head warningly and Lupin nodded before backing away as the situation seemed to be under control.

"We'll get through this Severus" Dumbledore stated in an authoritative voice, he was not trying to baby Severus but get him to realise he needs to get his priorities straight. "_Love_ is the most powerful weapon on this Earth…it makes us do the strangest and stupidest of things…now we have to fix this situation"

Snape pushed himself off of the ground and stood back up facing Dumbledore. He stared at the man intently for a few moments in deep thought but before Dumbledore could ask what he was thinking about Snape barged past him and headed for the balcony. He then pointed his wand directly at the sky and bellowed-

_"MORSMORDE!"_

A jet of green burst from Snape's wand and illuminated the sky and castle grounds as a skull formed followed by a serpent.

It was eerily quiet as the Dark Mark formed and Dumbledore joined Severus at his side to watch the monstrosity take shape above them. Snape bent down and picked up Dumbledore's wand and passed it to him highly embarrassed of the recent situation._ How could he let such a vile creature control him like that?_

"What happens now?" Snape asked unable to tear his eyes away from The Dark Mark in the sky.

"Exactly what I said would happen…"Dumbledore's voice was low and foreboding which frightened Severus slightly.

The Death Eaters down below continued their pointless attacks on the barrier for a few more minutes until they realised what had happened due to the now fully formed Dark Mark. Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as Voldemort's voice echoed around them…

_YOUR HEADMASTER….IS DEAD….YOU PUT YOUR FAITH INTO THE WRONG SOUL….NOW PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME AND THIS WILL ALL BE OVER…NOW…BRING ME LILY POTTER AND YOU CAN WALK AWAY UNHARMED…_

"Bastard" Snape hissed slamming is fist down on the railing. Dumbledore knew he would do this, he only said so moment ago but he _knew_. He always knew. "He is not going to let anyone walk away is he?"

"Of course not" Dumbledore replied "He talks of putting faith into the right people he is most certainly the_ last_ person to put your faith into"

"I'm sorry I ever got involved" Snape said unable to look at his headmaster in the eye "I regret everything"

"We will just say that the words 'let that be a lesson' are not needed right now" Dumbledore retorted before extending his wand out "_Expecto Patronum"_

Bolts of white soared ahead of Dumbledore and Snape was slightly confused at why he had just did that.

Dumbledore replied despite Snape not asking "I had better tell those in the school that I am not dead…Remus is probably passed out due to exhaustion from running back up the stairs upon hearing that last announcement"

"What do you want me to do?" Snape asked.

"It has always been your choice Severus" Dumbledore stated "You are the one that can dupe Voldemort with your Occulmency but _be careful_. He already lied once to you and he will do it again"

"I do not even know where he is out here" Snape turned to the balcony "But I will attempt to find him – figure out his next move"

"Good luck Severus" Dumbledore patted him on the back before hurrying down the flight of stairs.

Down below Lily and other members of the Order had fortified the castle as much as they could and now waited for the impending attack. Footsteps behind her caught her attention and she saw Remus, his face and shirt soaked in blood, stagger forward.

"What happened?!" Lily was shocked "What did you do?"

"It does not matter" Lupin replied sounding bunged up from his broken nose "I trust you received word from Dumbledore?"

"_Episkey"_ Lily muttered and Lupin, who was not expecting that spell, gave a grunt of pain and held his nose "Now what on earth were you playing at? You just abandoned your post because of what? A moment of blind panic?"

"I said –" he spoke behind his hand that clutched his nose "It does not matter"

"Well right now we are just waiting for the first move" Lily spoke "Whatever Dumbledore is planning had better work as this is looking very grim"

"I have no idea what he is planning" Lupin sighed looking up at the sky as the death Eaters circled in their clouds of black smoke, they almost looked like Dementors.

The Order members prepared themselves as many of the Death Eater's landed before the school all while Snape soared overhead only to be dragged back to the ground, enveloped into another black cloud. He had barely been in the air a few minutes pondering where to start searching for Voldemort.

Snape landed on his back and lay there looking up at his master who put a bare foot on Snape's chest pressing hard "Hello Severus…I must congratulate you…I must admit I did not think you could do it"

He had landed on a grassy verge on the other side of the lake situated high on a hill top. Voldemort was strangely illuminated in green from the Dark Mark in the sky behind his serpent like head.

"Did Dumbledore tell you the location of the Potter child?" Voldemort asked flatly.

"No My lord. But If I –"

"-No Severus" Voldemort leaned down pressing the ball of his foot harder into Snape's chest "I know what you are going to say…but I will not change my mind…you did well and will be rewarded greatly once I have Mrs Potter in my possession"

"I told you, she does not know –"

"Silence!" Voldemort hissed "Do not try my patience Severus. The only reason I have no slaughtered you for your insolence is because you are of value to me and as a loyal follower you will hold your tongue!"

"The boy is not there" Snape gasped now sitting up as Voldemort backed away.

"Yes, but the mother _must_ where he is" Voldemort smirked "Thus, we get the mother, we get the boy"

_But she really does not know where I hid Harry…_

"I honestly think"

"I don't care what you think" Voldemort snapped "I have had enough of waiting, I must not look weak to these people"

Voldemort then began to speak to everyone's mind in a painful echo.

"BRING ME LILY POTTER AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED GREATLY"

With that he vanished in thick smoke and the entire area exploded into chaos as Order members and Death Eaters began to fight brutally. Snape was still weak from previous events and struggled to fly so limped horribly towards the school to find Lily before Voldemort did. Snape (now wearing his Death Eater garb) sent several Death Eaters flying in various directions where they were unaware it was him and blocked all of the Order attacks that came near him _if only I could tell them it was me_.

Snape then leapt up and burst through a window in the school in an attempt to find Lily before anyone else did. She was no longer at the front of the school as previously stationed. He strode through stunning Shaklebolt who went to attack him. Snape then found himself in a deadly fight with Made Eye who, even after Snape managed to remove his mask, continued to fight Snape. Snape burst into smoke and flew past him began searching around the castle.

He passed McGonagall who nearly attacked but he quickly lifted the mask allowing him to pass her. He crash landed awkwardly when a moving stair case swung around and hit him and he was sure it was part of the schools magical defensives to protect itself when under attack – especially now the Death Eaters were forcing their way through.

The battle raged on and on for nearly two hours, Snape had spent the majority of it scouting the area for Lily who must have been moving about too for he kept missing her. Snape then checked the dungeons and saw the Slytherin common room was untouched, he sighed a breath of relief and headed back outside only to be knocked unconscious by professor Flitwick.

In his stunned haze the last thing he saw was a great pair of hands dragging his body along the floor.

Snape soon awoke in the Great Hall; his mask next to him The orange glow from the candles and the magical ceiling threw his sense of time as he tried to figure out what happened.. Madam Pomfrey was kneeling beside him mending a cut on his head to which he pushed her away to re-join the fight.

"Severus!" McGonagall screeched "Wait"

Snape spun around "Where is Lily!"

"She's gone Severus, Voldemort has captured Hagrid and Professor Slughorn and will kill them unless Lily met him in the forest"

Snape nearly fell back in shock "When did she leave?!"  
"Just now –"

Snape ran as fast as his broken body would allow him out of the school grounds, he did not care what the excuse for her going was, if Voldemort had threatened to blow the entire school up. Snape then saw in the distance of the tree's flashes of green and red and headed for it in cloud of black smoke. On his flight he passed by a group from The Order he assumed were preparing to attack. He landed not too far from the clearing and felt his adrenaline powering through is body – the only thing keeping him going at this point.

Snape quickly conjured up his mask that he had left in the Great Hall and ran towards the fight in the clearing of the forest. Voldemort and Lily were surrounded by Death Eaters locked in a duel. Hagrid and Slughorn were being held back by Death Eaters; Hagrid was tied up and held down by seven men. While Lily and Voldemort were locked in a fight, she was struggling and it appeared that Voldemort had order his followers to not intervene.

Voldemort stopped and Lily staggered backwards exhausted.

"This is your final chance" Voldemort uttered "You're a brave yet foolish woman –"

"-and you're nothing but a murderer" Lily was breathing heavily "You killed my husband, you tortured me and now you are asking me to hand you over _my son_…you are _nothing_"

Snape's heart raced. He needed to act quickly, _think think…._

"Very foolish indeed" Voldemort spoke in a soft tone "You will fail Lily Potter…and all that you love will perish…"

Lily struck out her wand first and the battle raged on again to much of The Death eaters excitement who cheered and clapped. Snape then saw Barty Crouch adjusting his mask to which Snape, shaking but careful lifted his wand slightly to the man.

_"Imperio"_

Snape forced Barty Crouch onto the battlefield and used him to attack Voldemort not that he did much damage but it was enough to keep Voldemort on this toes.

"Snape!" someone in the crowd shouted.

Snape then stepped out of the crowd removing his mask and hissed "How dare you suggest I'd attack The Dark Lord"

Everyone was gawping at the mystery Death Eater, baring in mind they had not seen Barty Crouch for a while due to being locked in his parents' house, that was however doing a grand job at helping Lily. Arguments and yelling ensued around the group but no one dared to intervene in the fight as Voldemort hated to look weak and any form of help would be a death wish.

"Who is this traitor!" Voldemort hissed now being forced onto the defensive spells.

No one dared say a word and Snape silently sent out the location to the order via his Patronas – thankfully no one saw the tiny white orb fly through the woods as they were all very preoccupied.

Then the miraculous happened.

Snape watched as if the entire world and frozen.

"AVADA KEDAVRA" Voldemort bellowed.

Lily blocked it as it were a stunning spell and watched as Voldemort's spell rebounded into him knocking him flying through the tree's landing in what sounded like a plunge in the lake. All the death Eaters panicked and many fled eventually leaving Snape and Crouch, who was still cursed, the only ones left behind.

Snape then ran up to Lily ignoring the catatonic Crouch and pulled off his mask to her. He stared at her and without hesitation cupped her face in his hands pulling her in for a kiss. It was quick and poor but enough to show what he thought of her at this moment. She did not respond to the kiss as he had hoped but she did not push him away either. Her eyes then rolled into her head and she would have fallen backwards had Snape not been there to catch her.

"Lily?" Snape's voice was shaky "Lily!"

Her eyes flickered and she felt cold but with a small smile said "I feel nauseous"

Snape gave an exasperated sigh with a smile "I don't blame you - you were just hit by remnants of the killing curse "

He then helped her to stand and they both cautiously walked towards the trees in which Voldemort flew through.

"Oit!"

Snape and lily turned to see Hagrid and Slughorn still tied up so with a flick of his wand Snape freed them before heading further into the then walked, wands out, towards where Voldemort had landed leaving Crouch to stare at the tree's until Snape thought it was best to remove the curse.

They came to bog, roots sticking out of from all angels. Snape was not even sure what they were looking for – a body?

"It's a Black Pond" Lily stated pointing to the bog "Thick as tar, everything will sink straight to the bottom and will never be able to get back to the surface"

Snape stared at the bubbling bog, he remembered learning about Black Ponds in Herbology as many plants tended to grow around them like this. He then stared in awe _Was Lord Voldemort finally gone?_

"Lily you do realise what you have done?" Snape said restraining himself from kissing her again.

"Don't say it" she said "I don't want to hear it until we are sure"

Severus Snape was staring at the Black Pond knowing his master was trapped at the bottom. All his troubles were buried at the bottom on this bog yet he felt Hogwarts would suffer should the Minstry find out that Voldemort's corpse is stuck down there; plus what is not stopping his Death Eaters from trying to retrieve it in his honour.

Order members burst through the thicket and stared at the bog too. Dumbledore was at the forefront with Mad Eye Moody and examined the area. Moody's magical eye was fixed on the bog while his head scanned the scene.

"He ain't getting out of that easily" Mad Eye stated then turned his head to see who was present. His eyes fell on Snape and Lily who were holding onto each other for support. "You two – I want a full account of what happened"

Dumbledore stepped up to the edge "I think it is safe to say that Lord Voldemort will not be coming out of there without a little bit of help…let's get some Aurors to guard this for the moment while we all go and get stitched up and have nice well deserved drink"

There was not much damage to clear up around Hogwarts; few broken windows and debris that needed cleaning but other than that all was fine in the school. Lily and Snape had their arms draped over each other's shoulders for support where they had both been injured and Snape released Crouch from his curse and had Mad Eye arrest him.

Upon arriving back at the school Dumbledore ordered evryone ot get seen to in the hospital wing. Snape immediately headed for the dungeons while Lily was ushered away by McGonagall to been seen to.

Snape half marched half limped to wards the Slytherin Common Room and spoke the password _"Lily"_

The stone wall moved aside for him and he found Harry sat up in the blanket staring up at him inquisitively. This time as Snape bent down to pick Harry up he did not struggle; Harry allowed Snape to hold him and even held on to his robes. Snape then made his way to the hospital wing to reunite Lily and Harry.

All eyes were on him as enter the room and everyone sat on beds tending to their injuries. Lily was sat on one being checked over by Madam Pomfrey and sat bolt up right at seeing Snape and Harry arrive.

Tears filled her eyes as he handed her son back and she held Harry tightly. She looked up over Harry's head and whispered "Thank you"

Dumbledore could be heard stating how 'disappointed' he was to not have been able to fight Voldemort that night and that he was a coward to hide in the forest. Remus was holding Harry now while Lily was tending to some cuts along Snape's arm. Dumbledore appraoched him and uttered a couple of words that made a lump appear in his throat.

"Well done"

Madam Pomfrey started casting spells over them all to determine internal injuries "You are going to need a cast on your arm Mr Snape…you've definitely broken something in there"

Snape nodded assuming it was from the moving stair case that swung out at him.

"- and Lily you should be resting" Madam Pomfrey snapped "You were subjected to the remains of the killing curse and some part of that clearly hit you. If it had been the full whack yes you would have died so I am sure Mr Snape understands why you should be bed bound for the moment. He is older enough to sort his own injuries out"

Snape looked up at her who was avoiding eye contact with Madam Pomfrey for she was trying hard not to laugh. He too smiled and spoke in a low tone "It's alight…go and rest"

Lily nodded and spoke in a hushed tone "We need to talk"

His eyes met hers anxiously and replied in a low tone "When?"

Lily looked at Lupin who was too occupied keeping Harry happy "My room, tonight, when this has all blow over"

Snape nodded and winced as she started healing a gash near his Dark Mark then noticed how faded it looked. It was no longer black but a greyish blue that old tattoos turned when they have not been redone over the years. He could not hide the grin on his face at seeing that.

Dumbledore approached then "Severus will you accompany Alistair and I to the Black Pond"

After having his arm put into a sling Snape did as he was told and led them straight to it where Mad Eye and Dumbledore were muttering incantations. There was a horrid feeling around the Black Pond - the same you would get when near a Dementor.

"Have you tried summoning it?" Mad Eye asked Dumbledore

"You mean the body?" Dumbledore looked at the pond "_Accio Corpse"_

The pond bubbled and everyone held out their wands only to have a tiny skeleton of a bird rise to the surface before sinking again. Snape then smirked "I think it is fair to say he won't be coming out"

"The Ministry will shut the school down if they know about this Albus" Mad Eye stated.

"Then let's just say Lily Potter is a true hero and fought him" Dumbledore smiled "No need to say what happened other than Lord Voldemort is 'out of action' for the time being."

Snape remained behind a moment staring at the Pond, something was not right about this situation…his arm began tingling where his faded Dark Mark was and he quickly turned on his heels not wanting to be near the Pond any longer. That and he was eager to go and see what Lily wanted to talk to him about. He was sure they had a lot to speak about for he could not get that kiss out of his head…

As he strolled back to the castle shortly behind Dumbledore and Mad Eye it was clear this was not yet over… Voldemort could not surely be gone. There was the prophecy of course…he was merely weakened.

**Now they are reunited! :) This will take the story in a different direction. For those who were interested: Yes I am heavily influenced by music and in previous chapters songs that relate to them have been. Dear Agony – Breaking Benjamin (Ch7) Hurricane – 30 seconds to Mars (Ch8) and this one was a mixture of songs I had been listening to but the title is from Battleborn – FFDP. It relates to not just Snape but to Harry too having been born/growing up in the midst of battle. **


	10. The Night in The Shrieking Shack

Chapter 10: The Night in The Shrieking Shack

It seemed to take Severus twice as long to reach her room, he passed the room where The Mirror of Erised was but could not bring himself to look at it again…the sloppy kiss he did earlier still lingered with him and he was sure he could pass it off to her as just being happy it was all over. A spur of the moment celebration perhaps?

But as he carried on through the halls he finally felt the weight of Lord Voldemort lift only to be replaced by this meeting with Lily. She seemed alright when speaking to her in the hospital wing and he had certainly proved himself time and time again to her but he was actually _nervous._ He scoffed at the notion, she was an old friend. Yet he wanted more than that, he always had. Perhaps he was nervous about finding out what she wanted.

"Severus"

He stopped in his tracks halfway down a corridor at the voice of Albus Dumbledore. "Headmaster?"

Dumbledore approached him out of the shadows with a small smile "I wanted to make sure you were alright?"

"Fine" Snape nodded "More than fine if I am honest"

"Good" Dumbledore nodded "Auror's are stationed by the black pond and will remain there indefinitely.

"You think he will return don't you?" Snape asked.

"He's not _dead_" Dumbledore stated with clarifying nod "That's a fact"

"Was there something more you wanted to say?" Snape asked eager to see Lily.

"As a matter of fact yes" Dumbledore smiled "Professor Slughorn has retired and wanted you to have his job. I quote "Despite finding out what he was he is an exceptional young man and I would not want anyone else as Potion's Master"

Snape smirked "That was kind of him, I shall think about it"

"Very well" Dumbledore replied backing away "Have a good night Severus"

Snape nodded as Dumbledore turned away and walked up a flight of stairs. He still felt embarrassed when around Dumbledore for he had seen him at his weakest. However tonight was not the night to dwell on that, he thought to himself, he was to try to rekindle his friendship with Lily and make up for lost time. Before he left to re-join the Death Eaters she had not been too fond of him. Yes she defended him but it was not until he saved Harry from Macnair did she truly see what Snape was willing to do.

Snape rounded the corner and was at Lily's door only to find her standing at the end of the corridor staring out of the window. Her figure was a slender silhouette illuminated by the stars. She seemed deep in thought and had not heard him walk up to her until he was practically standing beside her.

"I'm scared" she said not taking her eyes away from the window and Severus saw that she was staring in the direction of the Black Pond. "I'm scared he might come back – it all seems too good to be true"

"I understand" he replied speaking quietly to each other. He wanted nothing more than to put his arm around her for comfort but the sling on his arm prevented him from doing so.

"I won't sleep tonight" she admitted finally tearing her eyes away from the window to look at him. "I just don't think I can even if I tried."

"I'll stay up with you" he said with a smile "If you don't mind?"

She nodded "No, I'd like that"

So they went back to her room where the door had been left open a jar due to Harry being asleep in the crib.

Snape stepped inside the room and found it was dimly lit by the bedside lamp. Lily sat down on the bed looking at the crib before smiling as Severus fully entered the room. She had decorated since he was last here where now it seemed more homely with flowers, a new red rug with the Gryffindor lion stitched into on it and a couple of photo's sat on her bedside table. One of her and her parents that had been taken on a Muggle camera as it was a still image, the other a family shoot of her, James and Harry who must have only been a few months old. Snape was surprised she had not been given a larger room considering she had Harry but it would do.

"I can't believe this has all happened" she sighed. "Please, sit down"

Snape took a seat near the bed on an armchair and suddenly realised that his palms were actually sweating; they never did that. Lily handed him a Fire Whiskey and they drank silently.

Lily lifted her glass "To it ending"

Snape nodded and took a sip "I want to think of it as a new start"

Lily wanted to toast to all those who had fallen due to Lord Voldemort but felt it would seem odd with Severus being there. Severus on the other hand knew it was never truly over. Dumbledore's words echoed in his mind.

_ "Harry Potter will have a great life and role in defeating Lord Voldemort thanks to you"_

Harry was locked in a dungeon during the fight and had no part in defeating Lord Voldemort. Yet Snape was never going to admit what Dumbledore had said him about her son; it would break her heart.

"You were brilliant" Severus admitted "Truly brilliant"

"And you are the bravest person I know" She smiled "Everything you did was incredible"

"I think foolish comes in there somewhere" he smirked sipping his Fire Whiskey and feeling it burn down his throat. "Listen, I –"

"-If you're going to try and apologise for something again just don't bother"

"Not even for that horrendous display of affection?"

She raised one eyebrow "If you mean the kiss, yes…even that"

"I didn't mean it to happen like – well I just didn't"

"You didn't mean it?" she frowned "If you didn't mean it then what was that then?"

He stopped a moment "Did you ask me here tonight to talk about _that_?"

She rolled her eyes and poured another drink "It's not like it was the first time you kissed me was it?"

_What._

Snape coughed "Excuse me? I do not recall such a thing"

Lily squinted then took a sip of her drink before replying "You're joking right?"

Snape shook his head "As I recall you were 'James's girl'."

Lily nearly slammed her drink down but held the glass to the table instead of allowing it to hit it. She then turned to check Harry was still asleep only to smile back at Snape.

"In The Shrieking Shack" Lily began with a slight frown "You don't remember?"

"On graduation evening?" he asked remembering the dream he had had over last few months. He was alone in the shack waiting to be summoned by The Dark Lord "You did come and find me but…as I remember it we just spoke"

It was a blur to him really due to the fact he needed to get out of the school as soon as he could and could not wait to graduate.

Lily then explained "I came to find you to tell that we should keep in contact, despite everything that had happened"

She was referring to him calling her a Mudblood, then carried on while he listened intently.

"You were asleep in the master bedroom of the shack. I came in to wake you and you, well you kissed me"

Snape's eyes were wide and his face expressionless but he could tell she was not lying.

She then snapped "Don't believe me? Have you blocked it out of your mind ashamed?"

"It is not something I would be ashamed of" he stared intently catching her mischievous grin "What?"

"You were asleep for a good part of it, why don't you see what I saw?" she smiled waiting.

Snape was shocked "You want me to…_invade _your privacy by viewing your memories?"

She nodded "I nearly had you confessing your darkest secrets to me in London"

"I'd rather –"

"-I don't mind" she sat back "Go on"

Snape then stood reluctantly and pointed his wand at her. He took a deep breath before enunciating _"Legilimens!"_

Snape was sucked into childhood memories of him and her at the park, then during Hogwarts, James was very prominent in her memories of course, followed by the day they brought Harry home after being born until finally he found the one they were talking about.

Lily was creeping up the stairs of The Shack "Severus, are you in here?"

Snape then saw his young form asleep on top of the bed in the Shrieking Shack with his back to Lily. She then sat on the bed beside him and gently tried to wake him where he rolled over half asleep to face her.

She brought herself closer to him to wake him gently "Sev, wake up"

Upon doing this, in his drowsy state, peeled his eyes open and pulled her into a kiss. What shocked him more was that she did not resist.

They both sat up staring at each other, Snape quickly pulled his sleeve down hiding his Dark Mark. He remembered the night well just not the kiss; he and Lily sat up talking until she fell asleep allowing Snape to sneak out.

Older Snape was brought back to the current day and was staring at Lily who was laying back on the bed from where he invaded her mind. She sat up "Told you"

"I was clearing half asleep and probably thought it was a dream" he sat down quickly annoyed that he had no recollection of the kiss. "All I remember was the conversation we had"

"Did you dream of kissing me a lot then" she smirked half-joking but saw from Snape's expression perhaps he did. "Sorry, I had no idea but I'm not the only bad one here"

"I think that's a bit harsh after what I have been through" he frowned.

"I meant about that night in the Shack" she hissed wanting to raise her voice at him "I may have been with James but I had lost you as my oldest and dearest friend and if you had not noticed I did not exactly push you away when you did kiss me"

Snape was gazing at the floor in disbelief.

_I loved you…_

"You left me" she whispered. "I woke the next morning to tell you how_ I _felt about you to find you gone"

"We both know why I left" He could not believe what he was hearing "…but what about now?"

"How can you talk of _now_… I buried my husband 9 months ago"

"You will never get over it, not really..."

"Severus" she moved forward taking his free hand from his lap and held it tight "You mean a great deal to me, but I _loved_ James with all my heart and still do. I will admit when I woke to confess this to you I was so hurt to find you gone instead"

Severus then realised that when they had spoken of the last time they saw each other she had said it hurt that he _left._

"You're last memory of me was the one in the Shack?" his face dropped "But what about that night…we fought…the battle between The Order and Death Eaters."

"That was not the Severus Snape I knew" she squeezed his hand before letting them go.

Snape knew she was avoiding the current topic of conversation meaning she was not ready to confront any hidden feelings she had or may have had for him a few years ago. Not that it would have shadowed her love for James in anyway, Snape was destined to always stand at the back – He hoped that would change soon enough…

"Where's Lupin tonight?" Snape asked trying to not sound sarcastic "Not like him to miss out on having a drink with you"

"I told him to go" Lily said "He has not been himself since…well since James died and Sirius was arrested. He feels he must always protect me but I think he is staying close to me out of comfort…you must remember that we also lost our friend Peter that night"

Snape nodded trying to understand what it was like to have such a close bond of friends…he was sure all his old school friends would have thrown him to the Dark Lord if they found out his secret.

"So he was just following you around like a lost puppy then?" Snape asked.

"Poor choice of words Sev" she tried not to laugh.

Snape gave a silent laugh "Did not think about that"

They drank in silence once more and Snape could not tear his eyes away from her. Even after coming out of battle she looked beautiful, her red hair was flowing and she bore a smile despite everything that had happened. While he was utterly drained, ached all over and had his arm in a sling due to an unfortunate encounter with a moving stair case.

"Here's to us" she raised her glass to him and he brought it over with a clink before they both downed the rest of their whiskey. "Did you know that I am going to be working here as a Professor next year?"

"Congratulations, I had wondered what your plans were going to be about accommodation actually" Snape said then looked to the photo of her parents "I take it you no longer see your parents?"

She sighed "How can I? Voldemort would have got to them"

Snape nodded understandingly "And what of your sister?"

"Oh the last I heard she met a man and got married" Lily nodded "No invite to the wedding of course"

Snape rolled his eyes "Muggles…"

"I'm sorry to hear about your Mum" Lily admitted sadly "I read her obituary in the Prophet"

Snape sighed "Yes well she was never same after my father walked out, I probably did not help either"

"Don't blame yourself" Lily said "She was very ill and St Mungo's did all they could"

"They said it was as if her body had just…given up" Snape said nonchalantly - he was not one to get emotional especially over his parents "It happens"

"What do you suppose happens now?" Lily asked.

"Life goes on" Snape replied "I too might be working here next academic year"

"That's wonderful" Lily smiled "What is the job"

"Potions Master"

Her eyes went wide "That's impressive Sev. You do not just get offered a job as a Potions Master very often"

"I told Dumbledore I would think about it"

She scoffed "Only you would tell someone you would _think_ about taking a Potions Masters job – at _Hogwarts_ of all places too"

"For now" he smirked closing his eyes "I just want to rest…"

"I don't blame you" Lily said pouring them each another glass of Whiskey.

"Easy" he joked opening one eye watching her pour out the drink.

"I think we deserve this don't you?" she smiled pouring them both generous glasses to which he accepted.

They spent the night talking about idle things. About school days and life in the Order yet Severus was very vague on his adventures as Death Eater. He was already a private man as it was and his career on the dark side was not one he was highly proud of. Snape smiled at her tales of living a relatively happy family life for that short while it was about and was saddened when she spoke of all the plans she had made with James. They had wanted to travel and explore the world together. How she had wanted to become an Auror but with all the work in the Order she had never gotten around to it.

It had only occurred to Severus that he would finally be able to enjoy the simple things in life once more. Here he was, five years since becoming of age, and he was sharing a drink with Lily for the first time. They would be able to go out in public without worrying about being spied on. He could travel if he really wanted to – in fact he started pondering on the idea of travelling with Lily – doing all those things she had planned to do…

Snape was struggling now to keep his eyes open now as fatigue had finally set in and the whiskey was lulling him to sleep. He excused himself to use the bathroom for a moment only to return to find Lily had fallen asleep on her bed. He leant on the bathroom door frame watching her sleeping form for a moment. A bird outside had started to sing making him realise it was in fact the early hours of the morning and he had not slept in hours. So upon leaving he pulled a blanket over Lily where she remained fast asleep. He could not help himself from moving a strand of her red hair to one side that had fallen over her face and admired her before quietly leaving the room…

Lily peeled open her eyes very slowly as the sun poured into the room from a gap in the curtains. Harry calling her name had woken her up and quiet right too for it already half way through the morning. She sat up with a heavy head and rubbed her eyes not even remembering when she had fallen asleep. She pulled off the blanket that someone had covered her up with, she assumed Severus, and got up to let Harry out of his crib.

Once she showered and sorted Harry out with some breakfast she went to greet the summers day for the first time as a free witch. She had no idea what do with herself as she had no work to do for school was over. Lily made her way down through the castle in search of other people that remained inside. Mad eye Moody was giving orders to several Aurors in the Entrance Hall about doing shifts at the Black Pond which instantly turned Lily's stomach at the thought of it.

Inside the Great Hall the enchanted ceiling was bright clear just as it was outside while two little house-elves were sweeping the floor.

"Where is everyone?" Lily asked out loud to which Mad Eye grunted something that sounded like he did not know.

"Getting ready to leave miss…" came a squeak from one of the house-elves.

"Leave?" Lily asked thinking that the school was actually going to be closed due to Voldemort being on the premises.

"After the celebrations" The tiny elf explained never stopping his sweeping "We are preparing for a party tonight…but most had had enough after last night so will be leaving after the festivities."

Lily knew that meant any staff member that did not reside on site permanently will be leaving. So that meant it would just be herself, Dumbledore, Severus, Hagrid and Trelawney. She sighed and left the castle into the garish summer's day where she discovered where most of the staff were. Hagrid could be seen dragging 20ft high trees towards his cabin for fire wood. Dumbledore was speaking to Kingsley Shaklebolt by the Forbidden Forest (presumably about the Voldemort situation) and there by the lake, where she had sat many times before, was Severus Snape. He seemed to be staring out at the water perched on boulder.

Snape was deep in thought. Not about anything in particular but he could not relax despite it all ending yesterday. He had been up, unable to sleep since last night's events, and wanted to admire the grounds for the last few hours in peace. A patter of footsteps caught his attention but before he even turned around little Harry Potter had run past him to the water's edge and started throwing pebbles in.

Snape scoffed "You do know that annoys the squid"

Harry jumped in fright clearly not noticing Snape sitting there and stared in awe at him.

"You're alright Harry" came Lily's voice "He is just teasing you"

"I would say good morning" Snape smirked as Lily came to stand by his side "But I believe it is nearly the afternoon"

She smiled then noticed how tired he looked "Well someone didn't sleep last night"

"Didn't see the point. After you feel asleep the sun was coming up" Snape replied watching Harry throwing another rock into the lake.

"I take it you won't be up for the party tonight?" she asked.

"Party?" he turned his nose up at that notion "Yes Dumbledore had informed me they were arranging celebrations for the Order…after the treatment I received from various Order members I do not feel like celebrating with them"

"I'm sure it will be a chance for them to coin an apology for you" She said trying to change his mind but that seemed to be elsewhere as he turned is head back to the lake. Getting the feeling he wanted to be left alone she scooped Harry up "Come on you, let's go and see Hagrid…See you later Sev"

"Bye" his voice was barely audible as she walked away. He just could not bring himself to do anything today…he needed to rest.

Lily could not help but worry for her friend as she stood outside Hagrid's Cabin watching him chop up fire wood while Harry sat with Fang near the old pumpkin patch. The sun was shining high above them and not a single cloud was in sight it truly was a beautiful day.

"The mans been through 'ell" Hagrid explained bringing the axe down on the log with a crunch "More tha' you or I can ever imagine – and I've been to _Azkaban"_

"I know but I wish he would open up about it a bit" she sighed "It's over now"

Hagrid gave her a sympathetic look "It'll never been over for him"

Lily looked understanding what Hagrid meant. Severus was not just physically branded with his past on his forearm by a Dark Mark but he would be plagued with memories, full of guilt, anger and regret.

"I thought he was just like his old self last night" she explained to Hagrid how they sat up till morning unable to sleep so they spoke "But now that you mention it he did not once speak about his time as a Death Eater…he just asked me of what I had done and we spoke about times at school"

"Give 'im time" Hagrid wiped the sweat from his brow "You might not think it but I do understand. He'll probably mope around a lot –"

"- he does that anyway!" she snapped with a laugh.

"-and he will probably _never_ ge' over it" Hagrid sighed looking intently at her now "Put it this way Lily. There is a reason he will no' talk about what he 'ad to do"

"I am aware of what Death Eaters do" Lily said harshly.

"I'm not tryin' to patronise ya" Hagrid defended himself has he brought the axe blade down into a another log "Just sayin' you may_ know_ what they do…but you don't _know_ how it feels to do those dreadful things – and seeing as he has reformed an' all that he will being feeling royally shite won't he?"

Lily gave a half laugh and shrug at that notion "Yeah, you're right. Maybe he will feel better once the celebrations start"

"Oh I'm sure he will" Hagrid said "Dumbledore will have him decorated he will. Medal an' all"

"Good" Lily smiled looking back to see Snape had not moved from his spot by the lake…

That evening Lily was preparing to get ready for the party. She had showered and laid out a nice dress she went a purchased from Hogsmeade that afternoon. She had to beg the shop keeper to open up for she stated she closed due to her own celebrations at You-Know-Who's downfall. Harry was sat in just a pair of shorts on the double bed playing with what was once a nicely ironed shirt but now a screwed up mess.

"Oh Harry" Lily moaned taking it off of him just as the door knocked. "Come in?"

The door creaked open and Professor Dumbledore stepped inside. "Good evening"

"Hello professor" she greeted "Can I help you?"

"Probably not" he sighed "It's about Severus"

"What about him?" she asked magically ironing out the creases in Harry's shirt once more with her wand.

"Well I was hoping you could convince him to come to the Great Hall tonight" Dumbledore said hopefully.

"Why do you think I could do that?" Lily asked "I spoke to him earlier he is not in the mood"

"Well I wanted everyone there, him especially. I had a nice speech all planned out" he looked genuinely upset at this notion.

"Still I do not think he will listen to me" Lily said putting Harry in his shirt.

"Then we have no hope of him attending" Dumbledore retorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she frowned in confusion.

Dumbledore looked at her strangely "Well…I just meant that out of all of the guests. He would interact with you the most."

"Right…" Lily frowned "Well send him up I do not have time to go searching for him"

Dumbledore smiled "Be nice to him... he's –"

"-been through a lot" Lily nodded "I understand"

About half an hour later there was another knock at the door to which Lily opened it to reveal Severus standing there in his usual attire and added arm sling.

"The Headmaster sent me up to see you" Snape said curtly "Is something the matter?"

"Yes" Lily opened the door revealing her new dress but folded her arms in annoyance "_You_ are what is the matter"

"Excuse me?" Snape stepped inside "What are you talking about?"

"When the headmaster of the school invites you to celebrate the downfall of the darkest wizard of all time – which _you_ had a part in – You are expected to attend"

"So he sent me to you so you can _convince_ me" Snape shook his head "I do not have the energy to be playing childish games"

"Then sit" Lily said flicking her wand so the door slammed shut before he could leave. The armchair behind him then slid into the back of his legs knocking him into a seated position in the chair.

"That was rude" he grumbled "I'm a wounded man"

"It's a minor break" she retorted handing him a glass of whiskey.

"How can you possible drink more of that?" he asked taking a sip regardless.

She smiled "I'm not I am just being civil and hoping you will lighten up just for one night and enjoy the evening Dumbledore has planned for us all."

While she sorted out her hair in the mirror he watched her closely from over the top of his whiskey glass. He was no engrossed with her he had not noticed Harry was even in the room until he had climbed off of the bed and tottered over to where Snape was sat in the arm chair. Snape was now looking at the young boy properly for the first time since going away after Christmas and he hated to think it but he was looking more and more like James every day.

"He's getting bigger don't you think?" Lily tried to make small talk.

"Hmm" Snape agreed averting his eyes away from the mini version of James Potter and back to her "I take it you will be meeting Lupin at the party tonight?"

"He'll be there yes" Lily said looking at Snape through the reflection of the mirror "And you should too"  
"If it is such a big deal to you then fine…I'll go" Snape huffed downing is drink "But I won't stay long"

Suddenly there were heavy footfalls outside the bedroom followed by loud knocking which scared Harry. Without anyone saying a word the door opened and in stepped Mad Eye Moody and two Aurors Snape had never seen. Dumbledore could be heard talking out in the hall in a loud and authoritative voice.

"This is an outrage" Dumbledore's voice, which was normally soft and calm, was now gruff and loud.

Snape and Lily stood and Harry started to cry as the men piled into the room. Lily picked Harry up to calm him down "What is going on?"

Mad Eye was staring at Snape with a look he did not wear often when he said these lines and although his voice was strict it carried sympathy "Severus Snape you under arrest for crimes relating to Dark Magic and partaking in death Eater activity"

"What!" Lily screeched.

"Are you insane?!" Snape barked.

"I am having none of this!" Dumbledore pushed his way through the group of Aurors "Alistor I have told you before-"

"-and I have told you this is out of my hands" Mad Eye spoke sternly to Dumbledore then turned to Snape and finished stating his rights "You can either come quietly with us now or we shall bring the Dementors of Azkaban to escort you. You do not have to say anything but if you do it may be given as evidence in front of the Wizengamot"

"This is an utter waste of time" Dumbledore snapped in anger "I am chief Warlock of the Wizengmot and will not have him sent to Azkaban so save you breath"

"I have order by the Minister herself to have all known Death Eaters brought in" Mad Eye stated "I don't want to do it but I have to"

"How does the Ministry even know?" Snape asked.

"You name was given over by a Death Eater to get himself released" Mad eye stated.

"Who?" Snape asked through gritted teeth – he was furious.

"The one you had arrested – Barty Crouch Jr" Mad Eye explained "We wanted him shipped to Azkaban right away so a quick trial was set up…he stated you as a Death Eater…no one else's name came up"

Snape looked from Mad Eye to Dumbledore who had no more to say. He turned and looked at Lily who was holding Harry now with a look of disbelief.

"You can't do this" Lily spoke "To go to trial you are held in Azkaban you can't send Severus to Azkaban"

"I will try and have Mr Snape placed in a holding cell within the Ministry" Mad Eye said "But rules are rules and the procedure can only be changed by approval of the Minister"

It was unbearably silent in the room as Snape scanned over the Aurors who were taller and broader than him. All eyes were staring at him waiting for his answer.

"Fine…"Snape said quietly and thought of the night when he saw Sirius kicking and flailing as Dementors escorted him form the castle "Do I walk out in handcuffs or do I at least get to keep some of my dignity?"

"Your wand Snape" Mad Eye held out his hand and the other two Aurors draw out their wands readily.

Lily watched as the exchange took place. He handed over his wand to Mad Eye and the two Aurors took their places either side of Severus with one hand on each of his shoulders. Normally he would be handcuffed but as he was co-operating they allowed him to walk out freely.

Snape was then marched from the room and down the corridor out of sight leaving just her and Dumbledore alone. Before she could speak she felt icy cold and to her horror watched as a Dementor glided past her doorway to follow Snape and the Aurors.

"Procedure" Lily scoffed "This is madness, _yes_ he _was_ a Death Eater but he turned _spy_ surely that is enough to have him freed just like Crouch could be freed for grassing on other Death Eaters."

"I will do my utmost to have Severus out of there as quickly as possible" Dumbledore said "Right now there is nothing I can do. He will _hopefully_ go to a holding cell in the Ministry instead of Azkaban and will be tried tomorrow morning."

"I want to be there" Lily exclaimed "I can give evidence"

"Yes" Dumbledore nodded "You can be a witness"

"Wait a minute" Lily thought "Are you defending him or conducting the trial?"

Dumbledore sighed "Catch 22…if I conduct the trial there is no one strong enough or willing to defend him…if I defend him I cannot be a judge"

"You must defend him professor" She said "Only you can and I'm sure you can win over the Wizenmot – they'll see you as the Chief Warlock and the trail will be one sided"

"I hope it will be that easy" Dumbledore said looking down "But I know it won't be – it sounds easy enough to us because we know Severus and the evidence but all the Ministry and jury see is a Death Eater and the more Death Eaters behind bars the better"

"I will go with you tomorrow" Lily said.

Dumbledore nodded "Hopefully it will be the start of calmness soon. We'll get through this trial and we can start to get back to normality"

"Ok" Lily said placing Harry back in his crib "See you tomorrow Professor – forgive me in saying I won't be attending the celebrations tonight"

"They are good and truly postponed don't you worry" he replied solemnly and shut the door as he left leaving Lily to put Harry back to bed and to try and get some sleep herself for it was going to be an extremely long day tomorrow… she could hardly believe today's events. It had started off so calm and she had really enjoyed her time with Severus last night. She wondered if they would ever get a break...

**Thank you so much for your reviews! :) Will be uploading the next chapter shortly! **


	11. Hope

Chapter 11: Hope

Lily did not sleep much through the night. She had horrid dreams about being in Azkaban and not being able to get out. However despite being tired she quickly got dressed in her only dress suit and took Harry straight down to Hagrid to watch over him. She then went back around the grounds to meet Dumbledore at the entrance only to find Remus standing there in his best, albeit still slightly tatty, suit. He had even combed his hair and had a shave leaving is goatee more prominent instead of hidden in his stubble.

"Remus?" Lily smiled "You're coming too?"

"Thought I'd show my support" he said "I can even give evidence"

She was lost for words "Good. Where's Dumbledore?"

"He had to go already" Remus said "He said he had to prepare at the Ministry as he was stepping down as chief Warlock for this trial in order to defend Severus"

"Did he sound confident?" Lily asked.

Remus shrugged "But we had better hurry. High profile trials such as this one have a tendency to have their times changed in order to mess things up for the defence"

So they made their way to the Great Hall and both stood in the fireplace before flooing to the Ministry of Magic. They were transported directly to the Atrium where men and woman were bustling along to get to different departments. Remus led Lily to the lifts as if he was on auto pilot mode as they descended down into the depths of the Ministry.

"You seem to know your way" Lily stated.

"I had to stand trial here upon leaving school" Remus said to Lily's shock.

"You never told me?" Lily gasped and was thankful the lift was empty so she could ask "Why?"

"Because of what I am" Remus replied with a sigh "_Procedure _they called it"

"You know I am really starting to hate that word" Lily said as the doors opened and they found themselves in a crowded corridor to the court rooms.

"Lots of people on trial today?" Lily asked as they tried to shuffle through the crowd.

"No…"Remus said placing a hand gently on her shoulder to stop her from pushing through the crowd "There is only one court room"

"What?" she gasped "They are all here for Severus?"

"Word must have gotten out" Remus said and looked to her not surprised by it like she was "Come on Lily it is not everyday someone _defends_ a Death Eater"

"Oh Severus is going to hate this" Lily said thinking of how private he was.

So they had to wait as the crowd of people siphoned into the court room one by one. It took a while but Lily was soon face to face with a bald dumpy wizard holding a large clipboard full of papers.

"Name?" the wizard asked.

"Lily Potter" she stated.

The man looked up at her and gave a smile "It's nice to meet you, I read your story in The prophet…thank you"

She just nodded not sure on how to answer that.

"Are you giving evidence at all towards this case?" he asked "I am assuming you are considering the nature of this case"

"Yes" she replied "But for the defence of Severus Snape"

The man look confused but put two ticks by her name on the clipboard then looked to Remus "Name?"

"Remus John Lupin" Lupin stated clearly "Also planning on giving evidence to the defence of Severus Snape"

The man flicked through the papers until he found the name, he looked carefully at the paper then to Remus "Sorry Mr Lupin but you are unable to give evidence in this court"

"On what grounds?" Lupin asked with a frown.

"Due to your status" The man said calmly unembarrassed by stating this.

"My _status?" _he asked.

"Only Beings are allowed to give evidence to this case"

"I am a Being" Lupin remained calm "Don't see me ripping anyone's throats out do you?"

"The law clearly states" Lily began "That werewolves are only classed as Beasts during their wolf state. As you can clearly see Remus is human"

"Unfortunately there is also a law that states during _high profile_ cases such as this one. Beasts of any nature cannot give evidence" the man said. "I'm sorry but I –"

"-If you say it's _procedure_ I will _Reducto_ your lungs" Lily snapped.

"Just leave it Lily come on" Remus ushered her into the court room which was crammed full of people. "I'm used to it, you give your evidence it'll the best they get anyway"

They took their seats on one of the front rows at the end so Lily could easily get out to give evidence when needed. The room was buzzing with witches and wizards talking about the case. A blonde witch sat right at the front with a quick quotes quill and Lily immediately recognised her as Rita Skeeter, a writer for the Prophet. _Oh Severus is really going to hate all this…_ she then scanned the room unable to find Dumbledore or who was leading the trial and but her eyes kept going back to the ominous looking black cage in the centre of the room with Severus bolts that would tighten spikes up keeping its occupant still.

"This is horrible" Lily shook her head "Most of these people are here to gawp"

A door opened and in piled several men and woman one being Dumbledore who shook hands with a very smartly dressed man with a toothbrush moustache and bowler hat. Dumbledore took his seat to one side while the others took theirs at the jury while the man in the bowler hat took his place at the Chief Warlocks seat.

All quietened down now as the now Chief Warlock removed his hat and shuffled some papers on the desk before him. A short plump witch that in Lily's eyes resembled a toad stood.

"Dolores Jane Umbridge" she stated "New Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic welcomes Bartemius Crouch Head of Magical Law Enforcement as temporary Chief Warlock to the Wizenmot"

The man with the bowler hat stood up as he was acknowledged.

"That's not good" Lupin whispered "Severus is be tried by the father of the Death Eater that is condemning him"

Lily swore under her breath "The very same father who would do anything to keep his son out of Azkaban"

"Also in attendance" Umbridge continued "Is the Minister of Magic as a spectator to ensure this trail is conducted fairly"

Millicent Bagnold, the current Minister, was a middle aged woman wearing all black and had her brown hair tied back into a bun. She was sat beside Crouch observing the entire situation.

Lupin nodded and whispered "Makes sense…the minster is obviously going to be bias in the case…Crouch being bias is not so obvious"

"Thank you Dolores" Crouch Sr spoke "Speaking on behalf of the accused Is Albus Dumbledore. The jury are to not take into account that he is the standing Chief Warlock for the Wizenmot...bring in the accused"

Lily and Remus leaned forward in anticipation as the floor to the cage opened up and a ragged looking Severus was rose into it. A couple of Aurors then began tightening the spikes in the cage.

"He is wearing a sling for goodness sake" Lily hissed under her breath to which Remus placed his hand on her arm to calm her down.

It looked like Snape not slept at all as he sluggishly rose his head to meet Crouch's eyes.

Crouch then cleared his throat "Severus Tobias Snape. You have been brought from Azkaban –"

Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, she had hoped he was held in a nicer cell at the Ministry.

"-due to several charges of illicit Death Eater activities. Should we be presented with sufficient evidence against these charges you will be released immediately do you understand?"

"I do" his voice just sounded like a low drawl.

"We shall begin" Crouch cleared his throat again "Do you deny said charges?"

"No"

"Then what evidence do you propose will let you off of the said charges? One being present at the Death Eater raid at Christmas."

"I do not deny that I was a Death Eater" Snape said "I reformed and turned spy"

"So you _were_ present at the Christmas raid?" Crouch asked.

Dumbledore stood up "As defence for Mr Snape perhaps it would be courteous to explain to the Wizenmot where the evidence came from that Severus was in attendance that night"

Dumblesdore stepped closer to Crouch and spoke so quietly Lily could not hear.

Remus laughed to himself which made Lily ask "Can you hear them?"

He nodded "Benefits of my _status_. Dumbledore is warning him about giving a fair trial"

A husky laugh then echoed around the room and it took Lily a moment to realise it was Severus.

"So…" Snape began "Should I go back to Azkaban now Mr Crouch and tell Barty Crouch _Jr_ he can go home to Mummy and Daddy"

The court room was full of loud whispers where Crouch Sr slammed his mallet "Silence!"

Snape leant forward so his face was pressed against a gap in the bars "Like I said I spied and gave information over to Albus Dumbledore to aid in the downfall of Lord Voldemort"

Some people gasped around the room at hearing the name but Crouch seemed unaffected. "Evidence?"

Dumbledore stood again "Severus Snape presented me with a list of names. These names which have seen been passed on to the Ministry where several of them have been arrested for being a Death Eater. He has also aided in the prevention of a kidnapping revolving a 18 month old baby and gave us warning where possible when Voldemort was about to attack…I am more than willing to hand over my memories if you need further evidence"

"Although you are a trusted member of the Wizenmot Dumbledore memories can be tampered with and are not sufficient evidence in court" Courch spoke "Witnesses?"

"Yes" Dumbledore turned and pointed directly at Lily "Mrs Lily Potter"

Snape turned his head wide eyed for he had not realised she was here. Murmurs spread around the room for news she had attacked Voldemort had gotten around.

"Mrs Potter will you please come forward" Crouch asked.

Lily did as she was asked and stood before Crouch without looking at Severus. It was bad enough he was standing before the court but she knew it would be harder for him knowing she was witnessing him incarcerated like this.

"Mrs Potter" Crouch then pulled out a piece of paper and read in "It states here you not only went to school with Mr Snape but you were also childhood friends beforehand. How long have you known Mr Snape to be a Death Eater."

"It would be four years bu –"

"-answer the question only – so four years?" Crouch nodded "So in those four years you were aware of the crimes he was involved in?"

"Not entirely no" Lily said "I found out three years ago but now know he had been a Death Eater for four"

"And you did nothing" Crouch stated "You made no effort in coming forward with this information"

"I object" Dumbledore snapped "That is a ridiculous question. One there was no evidence at the time and two, like many people in this room who knew of Death Eaters would not have come forward out of fear. This has nothing to do with childhood friendship"

"Fine the jury will ignore the last question" Crouch returned his gaze to Lily "What evidence do you wish to present?"  
"Severus Snape has saved not only my life but my sons life on several occasions" she began "Firstly on the night Lord Voldemort murdered my husband Severus found out and rescued me and my child. He abandoned his post not caring what Voldemort would have done to him in order to save us"

"Why?" Crouch directed this question to Snape yet it was Dumbledore who stepped up.

"Severus Snape had come to me months prior to this event saying he was to reform. He told me the Potters were on Voldemort's hit list and pleaded they be moved to a safe house"

The trial went on like this for nearly a couple of hours. Crouch asked some hard and some stupid questions. Lily sat out for a bit and was called to the stand a few times while Crouch gave evidence from Crouch Jr about the activities in which Snape took part in. Some Lily was not expecting to hear. There was a short break where Lily barely said a word to Remus and was unable to speak to Dumbledore as he was sectioned off into another room. She was worrying about Severus for he had been through so much. She was sure Azkaban would be the end of him.

When Lily returned after the break Severus was already in the cage and his eyes locked onto her with a look a lamb would get before the abattoir. He shook his head knowingly and Lily shook hers as if to say 'you'll be alright'.

Dumbledore and Crouch returned with the rest of the court and Crouch stood as it all went silent.

"The Wizenmot does not have sufficient evidence to end this trial" Crouch spoke "Severus Snape you will be returned to Azkaban pending further trial –"

"-No!" Lily, Remus and Snape had said this in unison.

Crouch continued "The Wizenmot will return to your trial in due time. This court is now dismissed"

Lily went to run to the cage but as she reached it Severus was already being lowered out of sight. Remus joined her and led her from the room by gently guiding her by the arm.

"There is nothing more we can do now" Remus said "Let's go"

"It unfair" Lily said as they left the room.

"It is Crouch trying to bide time in order to get his son off of the Death Eater charges" Remus said "He can't get away with this"

Dumbledore rounded the corner and found them "During the break Crouch had decided to extend the trial…I said I would fight dirty if he did so without having Severus placed in a holding cell here instead of Azkaban."

"That means he can have visitors" Lily said.

"We can all go and see him" Dumbledore said "I just spoke with him but he wants to see you"

Dumbledore led her down a floor to the holding cells which were just stone cells with thick metal doors where you could only see through a tiny window inside of them. They marched along to the cell at the far end where a guard was stationed.

The guard stood to attention as they arrived "One at a time and you have five minutes"

Lily nodded understandingly as the door opened allowing her inside.

Severus was sat hunched over his knees on the bench. His black hair fell over his face and his ankle was chained to the wall by a thick iron links.

"Oh Severus" she gasped slowly approaching him.

He had not even heard the door open due to being engrossed in his thoughts. But he stood and silently hugged her with his good arm. He uttered "Thank you"

"They can't do this" She said "We are fighting to get you out"

"All you can do is try" Snape said "However with Crouch being the father of the bloody Death Eater that grassed on me I am expecting this to be a tough one to win…I understand if you don't"

"But you don't deserve this" she said

"Did you not hear what I am being charged for?" Snape raised an eyebrow "I may have reformed but I still committed those crimes."

"But that's not you" Lily said.

He sat down exhausted "What I am saying is do not blame yourself if I do not get out of this"

"I won't" She retorted "I'll blame Crouch – both of them"

"Just..do me one favour"

"What is it?" she asked.

"Now Voldemort is inactive there are most likely going to be Death Eaters looking for revenge" he explained "I won't be able to protect you if I am in Azkaban -"

"-You are not going to Azkaban" she snapped "but thank you for your concern. I'd like to think that the Death eaters would be too scared to come near me after what I did to Voldemort"

"Do you know why you were able to rebound such a powerful spell like that?" Snape asked.

"Got lucky?" she shrugged.

"It was because of James" Snape explained "I heard Dumbledore talking to Madam Pomfrey about it…he said that because James tried to fight off Voldemort in order to protect you and Harry it cast "old magic" which protected you that night."

"Why did it not kill Voldemort then?" she asked "or do more damage to me?"

"Because you rebounded the spell into him…I would hate to think would have happened if you had been hit by it" Snape said "…think of it like the protection pendant I gave Harry…It won't stop Harry breaking a leg if he fell from a broom but he is unlikely to suffer more serious injuries. Had James not have done what he did, in allowing you to hide Harry in that cupboard, that spell would most likely have hit you killing both you and Voldemort"

She sat beside him on the bench and stared at the opposite wall in silence "I just wish this over already"

Snape stretched out his chained leg causing it to rattle "The feeling is mutual…"

"What happens now?" she asked.

"As far as I am aware" Snape began "Tomorrow I go back into the court where they ask final questions and I am allowed to give a final statement before the jury decides my fate"

"You don't really think they'll put you in Azkaban?" Lily asked.

"Crouch is trying to protect his son" Snape sighed "Who knows…I really don't blame them for locking away."

"You don't deserve it though" Lily said.

Snape just looked at her sympathetically. He had been truthful to her when needed but there were still things she did not know about him. Crouch jr for example had only given evidence that Snape alone was a part of so that there was not further evidence mounted against him. The most disgusting thing of all she did not know…was that it was he who had told Lord Voldemort the prophecy that had The Dark Lord go to her house that night to kill them all…

The door clicked open and the guard waited for Lily to leave. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder to say goodbye and left without either of them saying a word. Snape watched her leave before burying his head in his free hand.

As Lily walked the halls of the ministry with Dumbledore and Lupin none of them spoke. She soon stopped as they reached the floor of the courts where she slammed the stop button causing the lift to jolt to stand still. A head of her outside the court room was Barty Crouch Sr and the Minister of Magic Millicent Bagnold.

"I'll meet you upstairs" Lily said stepping out and sent the lift back up to the Atrium.

Crouch looked from the Minister in mid conversation towards Lily who was marching towards him.

"Good afternoon Mr Crouch, Ms Bagnold" she greeted them "I wanted to ask how long you are planning on _dragging_ this ridiculous court case out for?"

Crouch puffed his chest out taking a deep breath "Excuse me Mrs Potter but the evidence is mounting up…it is you and Albus Dumbledore that is extending this court case"

Lily turned to Millicent Bagnold "I know you are to remain out of the court case due to being the Minister and must therefore not be bias but you _must_ see the insanity in convicting Severus for these crimes"

"We cannot discuss the case outside the court room" Crouch snapped.

"I know you are trying to protect your son" Lily spoke understandingly "I have a son and I would do anything for him…but you must see sense that your son has been tainted by Lord Voldemort so much he will offend again"

"Do not speak to me of my son –"

"-I think that's quite enough" Bagnold cut in calmly "Mr Crouch I shall see you tomorrow in the courts…"

Crouch gave a sharp sigh before storming off. Bagnold then waited for him to leave the area before speaking again.

"I am not allowed to intervene" Bagnold was very well spoken "I know I have made it clear that anyone involved in Death Eater activity is to be condemned except in unique circumstances where one may be released if given the evidence"

"But Barty Crouch Jr has _only_ giving evidence against Severus" Lily began "He _hates_ Severus because he did not trust him…I meant what I said. If he is let out he will offend again. He will try and revive Lord Voldemort"

The Minister winced at his name but nodded "Let's hope the jury understands that tomorrow then"

Lily nodded "Thank you, Minister"

"Mrs Potter" she quickly added "I wanted you to know you have my utmost respect. Although the exact events of what happened that night are unclear Dumbledore made it _very_ clear that you are the reason You-Know-Who is not with us today. Celebrations will not go unnoticed"

Lily nodded not caring about that right this moment "Thank you Minister"

As Lily returned to the Atrium she passed a stall selling the Evening Prophet where the front page had the latest news on the Death Eater cases. Several pictures were printed on the front page including Severus's which was wedged between the mug shots of the LeStanges, Crouch Jr, one called Dolohov and another called Karkoroff. Severus did not deserve to be shown in this light or have his mug shot beside these men and women.

She paid for a copy and went to flick to the page about the trials and found a story of Voldemort's downfall. It was a continuation from the Morning edition of the Prophet which she had missed due to being in court but gave very strange and unrealistic accounts of what could have happened that night.

"What a joke" she hissed under her breath as she saw the Rita Skeeter had reported on both stories.

She was not sure what she was more annoyed at. Whether the entirely fabricated events of the downfall should have ever have been printed as she had no idea what had happened or that she is painting Severus as a cold blooded Voldemort worshipping Death Eater.

She returned to the castle after finding Dumbledore and Remus and she did not feel right. It was as if not having Severus come back with her was a big failure… She went and collected Harry from Hagrid and went straight to bed passing Mad Eye Moody instructing some Aurors in the Entrance Hall. Since Voldemort's body, whether dead or not, is on the school grounds stuck in a pond certain protective measures had to be set up.

Lily literally fell straight to asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Her dreams were plagued with nightmarish images of Azkaban and Dementors where Voldemort would rear his ugly head from time to time. Even as she slept she hoped this absurdity would end so that she may have a normal life once more…

She was awoken the next morning by Dumbledore's Patronas informing her the times of the trial but suggested she got there early. She had a bit of time before needing to leave so she spent it with Harry walking around Hogsmeade where people thanked her and congratulated her on the downfall of Lord Voldemort. What annoyed her more was when certain people asked her opinion on the current Death Eater trials and why she was defending Snape in the first place. After about the fifth encounter she gave up explaining her actions and marched back to the castle infuriated by how much control The Prophet can have over the public.

She then left Harry with Hagrid for the day and went straight to the ministry and just as Dumbledore had warned the court case had changed to an earlier time so she was just in time. The room was packed again and Lily's blood boiled at seeing Rita Skeeter at the front with her Quick Quotes Quill at the ready. Dumbledore was waiting patiently at the front by the cage where Severus was due to be brought up in. Remus was not here and she assumed it was due to not being warned about any time changes.

Then all went quiet as Barty Crouch Sr entered the room with the Minister of Magic; Millicent Bagnold. They took their usual seats but said nothing. The room was oddly silent as if they were waiting for something to happen. Heads were turning expectantly and Lily jumped at the sound of a door opening on the other side of the room. Two Dementors had been brought in and took their positions above the room looking down on them all.

Lily looked to Barty Crouch who looked physically ill. He was paler and clammy while his hair slightly unkempt; which was a big deal when it came to Mr Crouch. Yet still nothing was happening in the room. Snape had not arrived yet and no one had uttered a word about the presence of the Dementors.

Rattling of chains caught her attention and Severus was brought into the room via the cage. Lily was facing his side so he had not noticed her and she could not tell what his expression was due to his hair falling over the side of his face.

"Today marks the final stage of the trial of suspected Death Eater Severus Tobias Snape" Barty Crouch Sr stated. "At request of the minister…and the defence of the Severus Snape. Bartemius Crouch _Jr_ is being called in to this court."

Whispers broke out around the room and the door the Dementors came through opened where two Aurors entered first followed by Crouch Jr then two more Aurors. This explained why Dementors were called in. Two was too many Death Eaters in one room for the Ministry's liking.

To Lily's anger Crouch Jr looked well. He had been allowed to shave and have a haircut and instead of wearing his prison uniform he was wearing a suit. Snape seemed to shift angrily in the cage.

"Hello father" Crouch Jr gave a twitch as the Aurors practically dragged him to the front of the court room.

"You are no son of mine" Crouch Sr spat and looked over the mans head to Snape "Mr Snape how do you know this man?"

"He is a Death Eater…I had worked alongside him" Snape stated.

"Death Eaters" Crouch Sr nodded.

Dumbledore stood up "Perhaps it would be best to explain what happened the last time you interacted with this _convicted_ Death Eater Severus?"

"You mean where I had him arrested on the day The Dark Lord fell?" Snape nodded "I had him under the Imperius curse…I had him attack the Dark Lord"

"Of course other Death Eaters outside of prison won't know that will they Barty?" Dumbledore said to Crouch Jr who looked mortified "They'll believe Severus's story over you…the Death Eater who always ran and hid…I think it would be safer for you in prison personally"

"This is irrelevant information" Crouch Sr said "In fact you just highlighted the fact that Mr Snape used an illegal curse"

"Please" Dumbledore scoffed "You're trying to convict him as a cold bloodied murdering Death Eater…adding that to the list is not going to make any more damage"

It was getting heated this time round and all Lily could do was watch and wait. She did not really have much further to add it seemed Dumbledore was trying to get Crouch Sr to see reason. His reputation was ruined when his son was arrested in the first place and now it was utterly destroyed for Rita Skeeter was scribbling away now at her note pad faster that her Quick Quotes Quill. Dumbledore must have pulled a few strings to get Crouch Jr here today as proof that the judge is very likely to be unfair in this case.

After an hour of rallying questions and answers at each other Dumbledore approached the front and requested a break to the Minister who agreed.

"We will resume in 15 minutes" Crouch Sr announced where Crouch jr was quickly whisked away before everyone else was allowed to leave.

Lily was alone by a water cooler avoiding eye contact with anyone. She tried to relax and hope it would be over with good results soon but the more she heard people talking about the case it did not seem so likely. She thought of Severus in Azkaban and it was not possible…he would escape before he even set foot back in there. She knew Snape to not take injustice like that.

Upon returning to the court room the door was locked and nobody was being allowed back in.

"it's still locked" one woman stated.

"I've waited 15 minutes" a man said.

"are we late?"

"100 people cannot _all _be late" said another.

Lily tried to see what was going on but it just seemed they were over running with the break. After another five minutes people were getting irritable, then another five minutes passed and a man started knocking saying he could hear people inside talking.

The door finally opened and open statements about obvious misconduct were thrown about as the Wizengmot were already seated along with Snape in the cage.

Crouch Jr was brought back in and the court resumed with the Minister standing up.

"During the break the jury and Wizengmot had time to discuss their findings" Bagnold began "Bartemius Crouch Jr you are to be returned to Azkaban as a convicted Death Eater –"

Crouch Jr exploded in anger and tried to lurch from the grips of the Aurors restraining him. "You're dead! You hear me Snape! Dead!"

"As Minister of Magic I have final say over this court case and agree with the jury…"Bagnold was looking directly at Severus now " Mr Snape. You are have been found guilty of partaking in Death Eater activity. You have a list of crimes against you and by every right should be placed behind bars."

Snape lowered his head and closed his eyes. Lily gripped the wooden bench before her as his sentence was being read out.

"However…" Bagnold carried on. "Due to your reformation and betrayal to You-Know-Who your crimes shall be bypassed. This means you shall walk out of here a free man but not a decorated hero…I shall not have any medal placed upon a Death Eaters chest. This court case is finished"

Before Lily could do anything Snape was lowered down below again and everyone was filing out of the room. Dumbledore himself was nowhere to be seen having merged into a crowd of wizards at the back of the room deep in conversation.

All Lily could do was wait outside but even that seemed to take forever. Two Aurors came out of the court room complaining about Crouch to which Lily went asked if they knew what happened to Snape.

"Sorry luv" the taller Auror spoke. "He would have been taken back to Azkaban before he can be released…paperwork and all that"

"For goodness sake" she hissed under breath then looked up at the man "Thank you anyway"

With that she made her way back to Hogwarts for she was no use at the Ministry anymore and lots of people kept looking at her from over the tops of their Daily Prophets much to her annoyance.

The sun was hanging low now as she arrived back on the school grounds having flooed into a random classroom. It was so quiet in the school nowadays it was hard to believe that last week it was full of students. As she made her way down through the building to find Hagrid she was distracted by noises coming from the Great Hall. The great double doors were open and inside was full of witches and wizards – some she recognised.

It was mainly Order members and their families and right at the back she could see Hagrid towering over them all. She made her way through the party smiling as people greeted her many of whom she had no idea who they were. Hagrid greeted her with a smile and pointed in the direction of a sea of red headed children – The Weasley's had brought the whole family – and on the stage where the staff table was situated was Harry, the Weasley's 2nd youngest Ron and the twins.

Mrs Weasley greeted her with a big hug and Mr Weasley, who was holding their youngest, kissed her cheek thanking her for all her work in the Order.

"I think a great deal of luck came into it" Lily said "And I had help of course"

Lily saw Bill, who would be going into his second year, sit with one of his other brothers. The boy smiled seeing her and returned to his conversation to which Mrs Weasley did a tour of the family by introducing them all. She tried to relax and not let recent events with the trails bother her and started to enjoy herself.

Remus arrived shortly after she did and greeted her with a big hug saying he heard the news of Severus getting let off of his crimes before being whisked away by Hagrid who started asking him for advice about a pack of wolves that were running riot in the forest. Lily laughed and joked with various members of the Order and many people started approaching her with their gratitude.

She was becoming so immersed in celebrations she had not noticed the tall figure standing in the entrance of the Great Hall. The chatter quietened down and a few heads turned into the direction of the doors which caused Lily to turn around and see what others were looking at.

Standing there with his hands planted in his pockets was Severus Snape.

Whispers and mumbling about him started to go around the room but it was not enough to deter him as Lily made her way across the room. She thought he was about to retreat but as she came out of the crowd he saw her and stayed where he stood. She stopped just before him and stared with a smile on her face before pulling his weak frame into a hug. Now without his sling he gingerly returned the hug but pulled away shortly as some of of the guests were staring.

His eyes locked onto her hers and he whispered "Thank you"

Dumbledore was at the staff table and he raised his glass to Snape who returned his gratitude with a nod before backing away from Lily and the party. She thought it best to leave him for tonight and watched him descend into the dungeons for much needed and deserved rest...

**Thank you all again for your comments and reviews :D you guys rock! Trying to keep the cannon where I can so I could not leave out these trials. Not everyone's cup of tea but the band We Came as Romans influenced me with these last couple of chapters. the songs Hope and Tracing back roots. I'm going to end up having an album by the time i finish with this story haha - anyway hope you enjoying it so far, plenty more to come!**


	12. The Start of Summer

**Firstly I apologise for not posting sooner! Real life had gotten in the way :/ Anyway here's the new chapter! Enjoy :)**

Chapter 12: The Start of Summer

Over the next couple of weeks Death Eaters were slowly being rounded up and brought to trial for their crimes. Severus was obviously protected by Dumbledore and had seen how truly powerful the Head Master was as he read the account of the trails in The Daily Prophet. A death Eater he had met on a few occasions, Karkaroff, had been set free due to a list of names he had produced, including Barty Crouch Jr. Snape thought thinking of how the man had tried to reveal his true identity to The Dark Lord and then tried to have him sent to Azkaban. However Dumbledore later confessed that with The Dark Lord 'gone' in the Crouch families eyes, Crouch's father had once again managed to keep his son out of Azkaban and locked in the house. This meant Crouch kept some dignity for technically his son was not 'convicted'.

"They'll be more Death Eaters than you think getting away with their crimes" Dumbledore had explained to him naming Lucius as one of them due to his 'efforts with the Ministry' – meaning his _money_. Wormtail remains 'missing' to this day and everyone that knew him understood why. Snape just prayed a bird of prey would find him soon enough for breakfast.

Yet Severus Snape had not spent the start summer as he had hoped as a free man with Lily…

The day after the party Lily took Harry straight up to Azkaban to see his Godfather. It was a surreal experience as she waited in the visiting room; a small room divided down the middle by iron bars with seats dotted along either side. They took a seat at their designated place when a ragged looked Sirius was brought out dragging the loose chains that bound his hands and ankles together.

For the first time since his incarceration Sirius smiled. Harry gave a shy wave and Lily explained to Sirius why she had been unable to visit him over recent months. He nodded a asked how The Order was getting on and if they had made any progress in finding Wormtail.

"As far as I am aware" Lily explained "You are now at the top of their priority list to get released…obviously we need Peter"

"Even if you just found out where he was would be enough information to me" Sirius said in a hushed tone.

"Why?" she asked then saw a glint in his eye "You're not thinking of breaking out are you?"

He did not answer as a guard entered the room with another prisoner. "I'm bidding my time…"

"Don't do anything foolish" she warned "We'll get you out. Sev tried –"

"-Sev?" Sirius frowned "So it's Sev now? Did not take you two long to get back to old ways"

"Sirius" she warned "He saved my life and Harry's…I owe him greatly"

Sirius did not press the issue any further but listened to what she had to say about recent events at the ministry and what she was now up to working at Hogwarts. Sirius wished Harry a happy birthday that was just around the corner and wished he could be there that day. Lily hated seeing him looking this way but there was nothing more she could do and everyone was doing their best with the situation – without Wormtail Sirius was condemned.

Upon returning to Hogwarts Lily passed the dungeons and having not seen Severus at breakfast assumed he must still be sleeping. She decided to spend the rest of the day with Harry as the weather was holding up and took him out in the grounds to play. Remus turned up and joined them and it was well at the castle…or so it seemed.

Down below in the depth of the school Severus Snape was tossing and turning in his sleep. He had not even gained the energy to change his clothes and lay upon his bed still wearing what he wore the day of his arrest. He ached and felt that all he had done had not made a deference to the world. He was being treated like a criminal, Lily did not share in his affection and the prophecy of Lord Voldemort still hung over them all meaning he would one day return.

The door to his chambers opening did not even wake him; it was only until hands gripped his arms and shook him awake did his eyes finally open.

Snape squinted as harsh light from the doorway flooded in and he was face to face with his old Transfiguration Professor.

"Bloody hell" he flinched and she stepped away from the bed he was laying on.

"Good afternoon Severus" She folded her arms "Are you not going to greet the day at all?"

"What do you want?" he threw his arm over his eyes blocking out the sun.

"Severus…" she spoke in a stern yet caring voice "I understand you have been through a lot recently. However there are some pressing matters concerning you working here"

He sat up and swung his legs off the bed to sit up "Go on"

She flicked her wand a pile of parchments appeared on the side table "Firstly there are forms you must fill in and then there are lesson plans you must go through"

He stared at the paper work "What if I don't want the job?"

"Then you will be asked to leave the castle" she retorted "I'm not trying to be harsh Severus but I have seen what happens to people when left to wallow in their own misery"

"Maybe I like wallowing" he said under his breath.

"Oh don't be so childish" she replied rolling her eyes "Either get the papers sorted out or tell Dumbledore you are not interested"

As she turned to leave Severus spoke up "Professor…will the parents even want me here?"

"First of all Severus I am not longer your Professor." She replied curtly "Secondly you have been bypassed for all your crimes. They will have to deal with it for the students have nowhere else to go – now stop overthinking everything and sort yourself out"

As she closed the door Snape fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes for he was still utterly exhausted. McGonagall did not seem to understand what he had been through, perhaps no body other than Dumbledore did…he just felt awful and could not gather the strength to get up.

It was way past lunch time and Lily returned to her room so Harry could have a nap. As she placed her sleepy son on her own bed she found a letter addressed to her neatly placed upon her pillow. She carefully opened it to find she was holding an invitation to attend a medal giving ceremony for services in the war that would take place at the school in a couple of days where she could invite one guest.

Lily wondered if Severus had been invited then remembered how the Minister stated he would never be decorated for he still committed crimes revolving around Death Eater activity. She looked to the clock on her wall and saw how it was nearing the evening and she had still not seen Severus all day. Lily decided to leave it till dinner and if he did not show up she would then go and check up on him seeing as she had just put Harry down for a nap.

Yet even Lily was struggling to sleep since Voldemort had been weakened. And that was the reason – he was _weakened_, inactive, and dormant – he could come back… As she lay beside her son who was fast asleep she wished she could sleep soundly like he did, utterly unaware of what dangers lurked around every corner. She watched Harry's tiny chest rise and fall in his slumber and he occasionally stirred as he dreamed; she saw so much of James in his appearance it was uncanny.

When Lily finally drifted off to sleep she had awful dreams of Voldemort killing James mixed with images of being saved by Severus. She felt sick even in her dreams as the images of James became washed out while Severus seemed to grow clearer and stronger. She tried running after the washed out James but he vanished before she could reach him causing her to breakdown and sob yet hands picked her up and held her – Severus's hands – she awoke at the sound of the dinner bell and found herself soaked in sweat yet was awfully cold. She quickly showered still feeling queasy and that traitorous dream. She missed James terribly and wished him to be here every day yet there was denying she loved having Severus back in her life. He was a true friend and not many would risk their lives the way he did for her.

As she sat at dinner she just pushed her food around the plate and stared aimlessly at the empty hall (as only the staff sat in there). She thought of what would happen if Voldemort rose again and tried to shake the image of his horrid face from her mind.

"You alright there?" McGonagall asked her "You seem a little pale?"

Lily nodded "Just tired"

She pushed away her half eaten dinner and took Harry over to where Hagrid was sat "Can you watch him for a moment please?"

"'o course I can" Hagrid smiled as he loved spending time with Harry.

Lily then made her way out of the room and stood by the entrance to the grounds taking in the cool evening air as the sun sank behind the trees. She had told herself she would check on Severus if he did not show up for dinner so after a moment of composing herself she descended into the dank dungeons to the little room at the far end that were his chambers.

She knocked on the door but had no answer. She tried again and still heard nothing. After the third failed attempt she found the door to be unlocked and stepped inside a dark room that contained his desk, a book shelf and few chairs. No candles were lit and the fire was out making it very cold in here as she stepped in further.

"Severus?" she called out but had no reply.

She went over to his desk and found a pile of lesson plans and forms from Dumbledore addressed to Severus. Lily had received similar ones for Charms last week but he had not signed the declaration confirming he was staying at Hogwarts to work for the year as Potions Master. At the back of the room a door to his sleeping quarters was open a jar so Lily quietly made her towards it and pushed it open slightly further.

The bed was made but looked as if someone had slept on top of it. It was very bare in here and his duffle bag was left in the corner untouched.

She turned to leave only to collide with a body "Oh, Severus"

Snape was standing in the doorway to the bedroom and stepped back into the main part of the chambers where she followed "I was just in the store room collecting some ingredients…for a sleeping potion"

"Oh right" she felt embarrassed for it looked like she was caught snooping "I came to see how you were"

"I'm fine" he said flicking his wand at the fire igniting it before taking a seat at his desk. "Please, sit"

Lily took the seat the other side of his desk and saw an empty bottle of scotch on the desk and a half empty one behind him on the shelf. "Are you sure you are alright?"

"I would feel better if people would stop asking me that" he replied calmly "How are you?"

"I'm ok" she lied "Well a little scared to be honest"

"Scared?" he frowned but was now concerned "Of what?"

"I'm not a fool Severus" Lily said "I know the reason Aurors are constantly at that Black Pond is due to the possibility of Lord Voldemort returning to power"

Suddenly Lily choked and put a hand over her mouth unable to stop herself from crying. Severus instantly stood up and walked around his desk. He slowly neared her side "The Dark Lord _is_ gone; no harm will come to you or Harry"

_Not while I'm around…_

"Severus don't lie to me" she sniffed, tears forming "I have fought to long and have lost so much"

He was behind her now, his hand hovered over her shoulder a moment before he placed it there to comfort her "Dumbledore told you then"

She nodded "He said he is sure Lord Voldemort will rise again, he just does not know when. It could be 1 year, 5 years or 50 years for all he knows" She turned and looked up at Severus now "I don't think I can do it all again"

His hands were clasped together now restraining himself from trying to comfort her again for he knew it would only hurt him more for she does not feel the same. "You and Harry are perfectly safe now"

"I don't feel it" she admitted.

Snape perched on the edge of his desk facing her "You overcame The Dark Lord, you are the most powerful witch I know"

She wiped her tears "I am not"

"Oh don't be modest" he snapped "It doesn't suit you"

Lily looked up Severus "I was protected by James that night because of his sacrifice…It is only a one time deal"

Snape nodded wanting to pull her to him and tell her everything was going to be alright and that he'll protect her should The Dark Lord return. The unusual vagueness of how Voldemort was defeated in The Prophet gave him a sense of security as it mean Lily is able to walk about and not be recognised as the only witnesses were The Death Eaters of which most of them were being arrested and sent to Azkaban.

"You were very lucky to have someone like James then" Snape said eyes fixed on her.

"I won't be so lucky next time I'm in mortal peril" she forced a laugh that tried to hide her worry which of course Snape could sense a mile away.

"Instead of worrying about it why don't you try and do something to ease your anxiety" he stated knowing full well it sounded harsher than he meant it. "You're skilled at charms and spells but with more practise who know what you could accomplish"

"I'm not learning any _dark _magic Severus no matter how powerful you think it is" her eyes narrowed.

He pondered for a moment "What if you were just familiar with the spells?"

"You mean study the dark arts in theory not practice?" she asked contemplating the idea.

"I was thinking more on the lines of _ I_ show you and you learn the correct way of defending yourself" the room was tense now as he stared into her green eyes "I can teach you all sorts of magic"

"Magic I am not accustomed to practising yet will be familiar when fighting with it" she nodded with a smile "Alright then"

"You can come by my chambers and we'll practise" he said in a hushed tone.

She nodded and stood up "Ok we can do that"

"How about tomorrow?" he asked.

"I have that medal ceremony to go to" she said then by his expression realised he had no even been invited "Would you like to come with me? I can bring a guest"

As much a Snape did not feel welcome he would not miss Lily receive her well-deserved medal "Of course."

"You'll need new robes though" she pulled a bit of loose thread from the arm of his robes. They should have been jet black but were more dark grey now and even more faded at the elbows "I don't even think magic can repair this anymore"

Snape gave a little laugh "I suppose my wardrobe has seen better days"

"So after the ceremony then?" she asked, her eyes meeting his "I'll come by and we'll go together"

He nodded with a smile "Then we'll come back here"

"Thank you" she returned his smile and headed for the door "See you tomorrow"

He nodded and she closed the door as she left leaving him alone once more. Despite feeling low after everything that had happened he forced himself to be happy for what he had. After having a very unproductive day and still feeling drained after being locked up for the trials Snape decided to finally clean himself up and get a good rest hoping he would find a way to fix his robes for the ceremony tomorrow.

Severus woke the next morning and from the little window in his room could see people congregating outside by the lake. After a closer inspection he saw they were setting up for the ceremony. He cursed himself under his breathe for waking up late and now not having time to sort himself out yet as he spun around he saw hanging on the back of his door a set of robes. However they were not his for they looked brand new.

Jet black with a high collar and many buttons up the front and along the sleeves – it was just his style. There was a little note attached to the collar which read.

_Just say thank you._

_Lily x_

He smiled in shocked that she would go that effort for him and he pulled the robes down from their hanger.

Lily was making her way down to the dungeons holding Harry in one arm. She had dressed him in his nicest clothes and brushed his hair until it laid flat. She reached the entrance hall only to stop and admire the figure staring out at the grounds by the main doors. Severus was wearing the robes she had went out and bought this morning and he had scrubbed up rather well. He could do with a haircut she thought but he still looked very smart.

He turned around thanking her rather shyly for the robes and gave a small smile as he complimented her and Harry "You both look nice"

"Thank you" she returned the smile and they walked out into the grounds together where by the lake a small stage had been set up with several rows of chairs in front of it. Some people had started taking their seats and Lily saw Remus waving her over after saving some chairs for them.

Severus sat in silence as one by one people went up and had medals pinned to their lapels by the Minster of Magic. He clapped accordingly as each person went up and was taken aback when Lily handed him Harry to hold when she was called instead of Lupin. However Harry did eventually struggle away from his grasp to be with Lupin instead but it was the thought of Lily giving him Harry in the first place the shook him.

Mad Eye Moody and Dumbledore were the last ones after Lily to receive their medals which were on ribbon and placed around their necks followed by a huge round of applause.

As they all headed back to the Great Hall for another round of celebrations Snape could not help but smile. Despite eyes staring at him after hearing his story he still head his head up high and walked beside Lily into the hall and started talking to her about certain duelling tactics she preferred so that he may prepare for tonight.

Severus Snape was not one for baring his emotions but spending an evening with Lily caused him to waver his stoic nature when he was sure no one was looking at him. He had already thought of counter curses to teach her against Dark Spells that the Order in the past has had trouble deflecting. McGonagall had caught him smirking to himself as he poured himself a drink.

Dumbledore approached him and patted him on the shoulder "I'm so glad you came out today"

"I can't hide away forever" he replied "Besides…I have nothing to hide from"

"Good" Dumbledore winked "There is no medal great enough for what you did. Placing one like mine on your chest would not be nearly good enough"

Snape gave a small nod "Thank you Sir"

"However this does not mean it is the end, I trust you know that?" Dumbledore said in a quiet tone.

"Of course" Severus said "My mark tingled the night _he_ went under…He is merely dormant"

The rest of the party went past quiet uneventful. Nobody gave their thanks to him for they hardly believed his tale anyway and Lily was getting inundated with gratitude that she gave Harry to Remus to watch over for the evening so that she could leave the party early. Snape left with her but returned to his quarters in the dungeon where he magically pushed all the furniture against the walls. Lily knocked and he allowed her in at exactly 7pm on the dot; even in her dressed down outfit for training she looking stunning to him – just jeans, baggy cardigan and her hair tied back – an odd muggle outfit in Snape's eyes yet he saw only her beauty.

They began with simple deflecting of wands to ease themselves into each other's fighting tactics. They started off being very serious at the task but by the end Snape and Lily kept laughing as wands shot off in all directions. They mainly trained on silent spells finishing the night with a glass of whiskey that Lily cheekily pointed out on the shelf.

This was when Severus's summer really started and above all life resumed to normality. Lily and Severus occasionally ventured to The Three Broomsticks to unwind while someone was able to babysit Harry; Remus joined them on occasion too so Snape had attempted to arrange meeting Lily near the end of the month…not that anyone had noticed. However now his friendship with her had been reinstated fully he did want to spend as much time before the start of term for he knew it would be more difficult to do so with students around.

Every evening Lily would drop Harry off at Hagrid's and then would go straight to the dungeons to train with Severus. It was pleasant and felt as if all that had happen in the past few years never altered their childhood friendship. Snape still felt he owed her the world after she defended him in court but in truth he did regardless; it was he who set off Lord Voldemort in the first to her resulting in the one she really loved dying. Yes, Snape hated the man but he hated seeing her in pain more.

At times it was almost as if they were dancing their moves were so smooth and matched each other's. Her footwork was impeccable which gave to her advantage as Snape could detect her silent spells a mile off but not watch her feet as she leapt away from oncoming hexes.

One evening before Snape was due to meet Lily downstairs he found himself marching towards the Headmasters office. He entered after knocking accordingly and without a word he stepped up to Dumbledore's desk and placed a wad of parchment before the Headmaster; the one on top bared his signature stating that he accepts the role as Potions Master when term started in September.

"Well Severus" Dumbledore looked at the paper briefly then up at Snape's face "It is nice to see the young boy I used to have as a student back in the castle"

"Meaning?" Snape face was emotionless as he stared down at the headmaster.

Dumbledore chuckled "You're happier"

"I have every reason to be" Snape said turning on his heels "Goodnight Headmaster"

"Good night" Dumbledore called back "_Professor"_

As the office door shut behind him it was as if he just realised what he has done. He had not just signed a piece of paper so he could reside in the castle with Lily…he just signed up to _teach. _Teach insufferable children than would irritate him just because they were in his presence…he pushed the thought to one side and focussed on what was at hand – he was going to enjoy the evening with Lily and not worry about what happened come September 1st.

He had made it back to his quarters before Lily and moved all the furniture aside just in time for her arrival. Lily smiled as she entered the room and shrugged her jacket off only for Snape to quickly take from her to hang up on the coat rack.

"Thank you" she said "So what are we doing tonight?"  
"Well" he began hanging her coat up "Now, you can say no…however. I was pondering on whether to show you an Unforgivable"

"What?" she twisted her face in confusion "I can only imagine one of the three"

"The one being Imperio" Snape nodded "Now it _can_ be overcome, fought against thus making you the better opponent for it is a big shock should anyone beat the curse."

"How do I do it?" she asked.

"I have no simple answer" he replied "You merely need to fight it…do you want to do this?"

After a moment she nodded "Just do it"

They stood in front of each other leaving a fair amount of space between them before Snape raised his wand to her and carefully pronounced the curse "_Imperio"_

Lily felt her as if her body lost all mass, she was lighter than air yet still on the ground…It was a strange feeling as she began walking around the room without moving a muscle.

"Concentrate" Snape's drawl broke into her thought-scape.

She felt like she was frowning but was sure her facial muscles had not moved. She tried screaming, punching and kicking but nothing happened. Remembering lessons on Occulmency from Dumbledore she tried clearing her mind for that was what controlled her body.

"Almost…" Snape said.

After a clearing her thoughts she tried lashing out several times in an attempt to force her body to ignore the curse and do what she wanted it to do. However Snape released her from it and she felt the weight of reality flood back to her causing her to loose balance.

Severus was immediately at her side where he caught her in his arms. She held onto him for a moment bleary eyed at being under the curse.

"Not quite" he began steadying her to her feet again "However a very good first attempt"

"Perhaps we should focus on something else then" she said feeling a little drained after all that.

"Yes let's just do some volleying and then I shall show you some darker spells to familiarise yourself with.

However they did not make it to the Darker Spells as Lily's wand flew out of her hand and rolled under a cabinet that was bracketed to the wall. It was near on impossible to pull the cabinet out so they both fumbled about trying to reach it.

Both Lily and Snape were dangerously close to one and other as they knelt down and felt around under the cabinet occasionally brushing finger tips that caused Snape's hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He cursed his inner schoolboy for having such feelings and retreated his hand away from her reluctantly before she noticed.

Lily finally found it and they both were sat leaning against the cabinet slightly out of breath from the last rally of basic duelling techniques. She turned her head to him "You could have summoned it"

Snape was no fool, he knew fully well he was able to magic it out but felt if he was able to get close enough to her, perhaps she may get used to the idea of them being _close._

So he did not reply hoping she would realise his reasons for not using magic and stared back at her, their shoulders were touching as they sat side by side and he was fully away of Lily's striking green eyes flicking from his own to his mouth and without realising he was doing the same to her.

Snape moved ever so slightly but stopped hoping she would close the gap, he saw her hesitate but she did indeed shift herself ever so close to him; their lips were inches apart…yet before they met a grand explosion erupted somewhere above in the castle. The walls around them started shaking and dust from the ceiling fell to eh floor.

"Bloody hell" she gasped griping his arm tightly. "What was that?"

"Come on" Snape leapt to his feet pulling her up with him by the hand and rushed out of the room.

Snape and Lily were in the entrance hall where all seemed calm except the dust falling form the ceiling where the entire building had shook.

McGonagall then came down the stairs "There's an intruder in the castle"

"Harry" Lily gasped in which she then looked to Snape for answers.

McGonagall answered instead "Is still with Hagrid, he's fine. They were at the Quidditch pitch, I saw him go back to his hut"

Mad Eye came limping in from the main entrance with an Auror who looked very shaken.

"It's his partner" Mad Eye began "Said he's possessed"

"What?" Lily snapped.

"Are you telling me Mr Moody" McGonagall was stern but spoke calmly "That one of your Aurors is roaming around this castle possessed by You-Know-Who?"

"This has never happened before" Made Eye exclaimed "Well come on, he can't go far"

Snape and Lily were paired up by Mad Eye to search the first and second floors while Dumbledore searched the towers, McGonagall the Common Rooms and two more Aurors the upper floors.

"Hagrid would rip that Auror limb from limb" Snape assured her "Harry is safe with him…That Auror is not as powerful as The Dark Lord just because he is possessed by him."

"What does this mean Severus?" she asked raising her wand as they rounded a corner on the first floor.

"It means he is stirring" Snape sighed "I will not lie to you Lily in saying that is clearer now that The Dark Lord will rise again"

"Why won't that foul creature just die?" she shook her head not expecting an answer.

It had occurred to Severus on many occasions that any other witch or wizard exposed to such violent situations and incidents as The Dark Lord had would have died several times over…Voldemort did not seem to be able to die.

Severus was shaken from his thoughts as a groan at the end of the dark corridor echoed around him and Lily. They both raised their wands and illuminated them to hear the scuffling sound of boots rounding the corner at the end of the passage. Preparing themselves for Lord Voldemort himself their breathing became heavy and their hearts raced yet they were not prepared for the sullen faced Auror who dragged his feet over the stones. He could barely speak audible words; in full health this Auror would have neatly combed dark hair, a clean shaven face and perfect complexion. Now his hair was ragged, he was pale, bruised under his eyes and drool dangled from his mouth.

"He looks like a zombie" Lily gasped.

"Technically a zombie is _deceased_ human body that is possessed" Severus said "Yet this man is very much alive…making him extremely dangerous for we cannot attack him without harming the Auror"

"I don't even know his name" Lily was saddened that she had not asked.

The Auror straightened up "_Sev…Sever…"_

Severus knew he was trying to say his name but played ignorant just in case Lord Voldemort could see him. The Auror produced a wand a fired a stunning spell at Lily who blocked it effortlessly.

"He is weak" Severus stated "_Incarcerous_"

Ropes shot out of the end of Snape's wand and wrapped around the Auror's neck and chest yet his feet kept moving towards them. He was being choked yet it was as if he did not realise it.

"Stop it" Lily said "Severus stop it you're killing him"

Snape released him from the jinx utterly astounded at how they were going to manage this one.

"Sorry old man" Snape said "_Stupify!"_

The Auror was launched form his feet and smashed into the far wall that would knock out any regular person.

"_Sev…."_

"_Stupify!" _Lily screeched this timeand watched horrified as the Auror head swung backwards and into the wall knocking him out.

A grey wisp of smoke existed the man from his nostril and dispersed around him. Snape carefully approached the unconscious man and checked for signs of life. "He's ok…he needs a hospital right away though."

After having the Auror sent to St Mungoes Lily bid everyone goodnight and retreated back to her room. Snape cursed not only himself by The Dark Lord for that intrusion into their intimate moment alone in the dungeon. As he swore under his breath Lily came back around the corner.

"Severus?"

"Yes?" he turned back to meet her and then realised he may have sounded a little over excited so returned to his stoic nature "What is it?"

"Fancy a pint down The Three Broomsticks tomorrow – I think we deserve it don't you?"

A smile crept across his face as he nodded knowing that tomorrow was the night before Harry's Birthday – which would he the night before the full moon meaning Remus Lupin would be out of action then…

"Of course" he replied "I'll see you then"

"Look forward to it" she smiled "Goodnight"

She bounded back up the stairs leaving Snape with happier thoughts. He had almost forgotten that Lord Voldemort nearly managed to possess a man and attack them all tonight. He would savour every day he had for recent events put it in stone that Lord Voldemort was indeed regaining his power…each day that passed was day closer to Snape having to return as a Death Eater in order to spy...he vowed not to waste any more like he had the days after being released from prison.

He would spend them with Lily.

**New chapter coming very soon! Thank you all for reviewing! I really appreciate feedback of any kind :)**


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